Someday My Prince Will Come
by serafindelaluna
Summary: [Complete] Jack is a teenager dealing with growing up and falling in love in a harsh world. (slash, violence)
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: Will and Grace belong to NBC and other cool guys.

Rating: PG13/ R in later chapters

Summary: A look at Jack's life as a teenager coping with, growing up and falling in love in a harsh world. 

Note: This chap may be mild. But it will get darker a little later, so don't get too comfy. 

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Someday My Prince Will Come

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_Earlier tonight, at a party in the city, I saw the most tragic thing. I think his name was Will. I didn't even try to figure it out, but I could tell right away. He was in superlative denial! I plan on seeing him again. I don't know why, but I like him. Even though he completely ignored me when I tried talking to him at the party. It doesn't matter now. In fact all that matters is the new production the drama department is planning for next semester! I am so excited. The fall sports season is closing, so I can't cheer anymore. All I have is theater now! No matter what the play is, I am going to audition for it. The arts are the only thing that distract me from school. I hate school. I hate it with all my heart and soul! Can't wait to graduate next year. _

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Jack couldn't take it. The morning sun was making itself known, emerging steadily from the horizon. Ever so painfully, the boy opened his eyes, groaning at the mere sight of his alarm clock. '6:30' it read. Indulging in the generous solace of his blankets and pillows, the teenager sighed. He did not want to leave the safety and warmth of his bed... just yet. He shut his eyes again and tried to quell the acrid sense of dread that filled him when he was confronted with another school day.

Thinking about the past week, Jack's soft lips suddenly curled into a smile.

Things had been going moderately well for him. He had raised most of his grades, after much hard work and frustration. The semester was coming to a close, and he was fairly prepared for his finals. His drama class was wrapping up the production of 'A Christmas Carol,' in which he had been bestowed the part for Scrooge's nephew. It wasn't much of a role, but he took it enthusiastically. 

Yet the thing that was on Jack's mind the most, was the college student he'd spied at a party in the city a few days prior. 

He opened his eyes, sharpened in excitement, and then calmed in thought. For some reason, Jack could not get that guy, Will, out of his head. There wasn't anything distinctly impressive about him. He was mildly popular among his own classmates, was involved in everything a normal student at Columbia would be. In fact, he even had a girlfriend. Jack began giggling all of a sudden.

'Girlfriend! Yeah right! I can't wait to get him out of the closet!' It was then that Jack froze in contemplation. It wasn't like him to bother closeted men who he hadn't even been properly introduced to. But there was something about this man that he felt a connection with, something completely warm and comforting. Once he met those dark eyes, he took in the man's pain, desperation and hopelessness; concealed beneath a cocky and boorish facade. 

Such eyes... 

Jack's own glazed over in fascination. Suddenly fueled with adrenaline, the boy shot out of his bed like a bullet. Soon he would talk to him again... he knew it.

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Jack hurried down the stairs, brushing away a few locks of hair that framed his face. He greeted his mother in the kitchen and pulled out a yogurt from the refrigerator. His mother seldom spoke to him about anything other than herself. She loved him dearly, and he in return, but they were never truly on the same page with one another. His mother's realm included; her suffering marriage, paying the bills, and keeping her hair looking as flawless as possible. She could only wonder what Jack's priorities were... if she wondered at all. 

"Morning mom." Jack uttered quickly, before rushing out of the kitchen and past his father, who hid behind a newspaper. "Bye!" He called before shutting the door and heading out.

The winter morning greeted him bitterly; brutal temperature sinking into his freshly combed hair, and biting at his scalp. Acrimoniously, he pulled a hat from his bag and brought it down over his head, warming his ears. He hoped he would have enough time at school to rid himself of hat hair.

As much as Jack detested winter and the limited fashion it offered, it was his season. His sapphire eyes shone brilliantly amid the fair, youthful skin he was endowed with. Even without the nightly moisturizing and exfoliation practices, Jack's skin was most radiant in the harsh cold of this season. A soft rosy color graced his cheeks as he trekked up a hill, wind blowing against him. 

As he made his way up and around a park, a man, roughly in his early twenties joined him at his side. His viridian eyes were wide opened, and a smile stretched out across his handsome face. But underneath that handsome exterior, lied a subtle darkness that Jack himself could not name. 

"What do you want Jesse?" Jack sighed and pursed his lips in irritation.

"You look nice this morning." The man blurted, straining to sound casual.

"Thank you. I know." The boy gave a small smile, but clutched his books and kept walking.

"Do you want to get together later?" 

"No."

"Why not?"

"I told you four weeks ago! Its over Jess, Im sorry. Im not ready to give you what you want. Im sure you'll find someone else..." Jack offered, looking his ex-boyfriend in the eyes.

"Not like you." The older man remarked.

"Just please stop following me around Jess. Its been a month already. Get over it." Jack sped up, leaving the man behind.

"You can't mean that!" Jesse hollered after him. "Jack!"

Jack turned around, piercing blue eyes sharpening in impatience.

"What?!" He hissed.

"One day you'll give it up. And you'll regret that it wasn't me who you gave it to!" The man hollered, cutting through the silence of the residential area. 

Jack merely frowned to himself and kept walking. He suddenly felt ashamed. Dating older men was such a burden. They were much more open with their sexuality, and yet most demanding with it. Young men virtually had no sexuality, still closeted and ashamed. There was no middle ground. There was no place he could settle and just be. 

Indeed, he was a virgin. And he was very careful with the men he dated, making sure he never got too close. Otherwise, he would lose it in a milisecond. Jack believed in true love, and the right one. He wanted to wait, until someone special came along, someone who was as nervous and naïve as he was. And Jesse was not that person.

Suddenly dispirited, Jack ascended the stairs that lead to the school building. Reaching for the door, Jack paused. Something would go right today. He decided to try and be happy. Perhaps he would get word of another college party soon. And he could see Will again.

Smiling softly, Jack turned the doorknob and entered the school. People looked up from their lockers and back down again. He walked past them, and to the other side of the building where his own locker was situated. 

Few people conversed with him. He was the outsider of all outsiders. And he was hardly content with being so ignored, so invisible. Perhaps that was why he loved drama so much. The stages spotlight was the one place he could be seen and appreciated. Maybe it was because he was playing someone else... 

He put his math and history books into his locker and walked to the bathroom to fix his hair. A few boys lingered around the stalls, discussing the joys of female anatomy and other things Jack cared not to bear witness to. They looked up at him briefly, before cracking a joke and laughing amongst themselves.

Jack rolled his eyes and pulled out a comb. He cared not for the jeers and the ridicule, it was all these people could manage. Surely, that was the worst they could do to him. Running the comb through his slightly lengthy hair, he arranged it to his liking and smirked at his reflection.

"Don't start making out with yourself now, McFairyland." A kid cracked and lead his sniggering friends out of the rest-room. Jack stuck his tongue out at the departing boys and crossed his arms. It was too bad he was so alone. The only gay kid in school. The only _openly_ gay kid in school anyway. Such a shame...

Jack walked to his first period class, smiling brightly. It was his favorite class, drama. Although he was customarily alienated, this was where people interacted with him the most. He even had his friends in the class. He said hello to everyone and waltzed into the classroom.

"Hey Liz." Jack waved at a girl and took his seat next to her.

"Hey John." She muttered, going over a monologue. Jack liked to believe she was his friend, since they had worked together in 'Guys and Dolls.' She however, saw him as an 'associate,' as she had explained to a group of accusing students.

"Its Jack, remember?" 

"Oh yea, sorry..." she looked up suddenly, as a tall, athletic senior walked in. Jack observed him closely as he went to the teacher to show him a paper. Jack recognized him from gym class. He had never spoken to the redheaded jock, but he had seen him around. 

Now that he was so close, Jack was getting the faintest feeling that this boy was... 'NO! He couldn't be. He's on the football team and everything!' Jack recalled an assembly and seeing this boy's face among those in the varsity team; smug and completely straight. 'Of course, he could be an emergency case of denial!' He mused and smiled.

"What are you smiling at?!" The boy demanded harshly. Jack jumped, not realizing he had been staring off in the boy's direction.

"Nothing." Jack assured him. "So, you barely transferring in? The semester's closing you know..."

"I know that!" The boy said abrasively and plopped down in a seat beside Jack's. "Im transferring into this faggy class _next_ semester. My counselor just wanted me to see what it was like before I did." He complained, obviously not pleased.

"Don't worry it'll be fun!"

"Yeah right."

"Why _are_ you transferring?" Jack asked, puzzled as to why this boy was taking the class.

"I need a goddamn communications credit. What do you care anyway?" The boy turned to him, with a suspicious look in his eyes.

"N-nothing. Im just saying, you know trying to welcome you to the class. By the way, Im Jack Mc-"

"I know who you are, McFarland." He glowered. "Just stay away from me."

Once again Jack sensed something peculiar about this guy. 'He could be... But he's too sure of himself.' Jack sighed and awaited the pledge of allegiance. 

"Okay students." The teacher said afterwards, clasping her hands together. "We have James Gilmore here today. He will be joining us next semester, so help get him informed and with the program okay?" The teacher gestured to the scowling athlete and then turned to the chalkboard.

"All right," she continued. "Please pull out your monologue workbooks. They are due today." 

Jack dutifully placed his work on his desk and fiddled nervously with a pencil. He could feel the athlete's venomous glare on him as he did so.

'What's this guy's problem?' Jack thought and tried not to fidget. 

"You know," the boy started, as their teacher walked around the classroom collecting the papers.

'ugh.' Jack knew what that tone would lead to. He shouldn't have introduced himself, and opened a door for this guy. It was almost as if he was welcoming harassment, by talking to a jock. Cursing inwardly at his gregarious disposition, Jack braced himself for whatever things this boy had to say. 

"It figures I would get stuck in this class with someone like you." The boy's dark green eyes flashed for a second, with something Jack thought was fear, or was it just plain old hatred?

'If he wanted me to stay away from him, I would have. He doesn't have to bother me now.' Jack's mind was screaming. But he couldn't reveal any sort of hostility, or he'd wind up in his locker, gasping for air. 

"What do you mean?" Jack asked brightly, plastering a false smile on his face. 

"Don't play dumb!"

"Well, if you mean a gorgeous and talented guy like myself, yes it figures that you got stuck in this class with me." Jack answered him, brimming with sarcasm. Like a flash, the boy yanked Jack up and out of his seat by his shirt collar.

"You better watch what you say McFarland!" He bellowed, towering over Jack.

"Boys, is there a problem?" The teacher caught on and stood in front of them.

"No. No problem." The boy grumbled and backed away.

'Wow! What a closet case!' Jack screeched mentally. He was shaking in his shoes however, glad that they were in class. It had been a long time since he had made anyone that angry. It was a stupid little remark he made. But no one should have been driven to the point of violence by it, unless he was truly insecure. Jack was almost certain that this boy was in denial, just like Will.

Jack smiled. But unlike Will, this boy was harsh and violent with his denial. This boy was on the varsity football team. He had a girlfriend that he publicly flaunted, and he was always dressed sloppily, as if trying to prove that he was the most masculine guy in the school. Jack suddenly felt pity for this boy.

"All right students, you will be performing your monologues today. I hope you are all prepared. It is part of your final. But right now I want to talk about what we will be doing next semester."

Jack sat up straight, with an eager smile on his face. 

"At the beginning of February we will be performing a play for the elementary students down the road. It will be free of charge, but we will be raising money for a charity."

'All right all right! What's the play?' he was practically squirming.

"So, we can't have elementary kids see a production of 'Arsenic and Old Lace' can we?" The teacher laughed and Jack rolled his eyes. "So we will be doing 'Snow White and the Seven Dwarves.'"

Jack slumped in his seat. 'Snow White!' At first dismayed, Jack suddenly perked up. Perhaps it would be a musical. He knew that his teacher would change it around, and probably would not follow the Disney interpretation of the story; but nonetheless it would most likely have music. 

"After the production wraps up, we will be working on 'The Crucible.' Okay I have made lists of roles and notes on the play... anyone who's interested, auditions will begin the first week after Christmas vacation. Any questions?"

Everyone was silent so the teacher began the class.

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Jack was beaming. His monologue had gone very well, at least he thought so. He made it through the rest of the day; took all of his finals. He faired well, save gym and math class. But he would make it to the next semester with all credits intact. 

Glancing around the halls as school came to an end, Jack frowned. Everyone had different plans for winter vacation. He himself was unsure of how he would go about his free time. Christmas was always dull and nothing to look forward to. He got the same presents every year, like clothes or money. Not that he minded the cash; he just wanted something special.

He was hoping to attend a college party that weekend. Brightening at the thought, Jack hurried out of the building and into the chilly afternoon. He knew who he had to talk to...

Down the street he walked, a small glint of hope on his face. As he rounded the park, Jack began thinking about the lost Columbia kid again. 'Poor guy. I should really do something about him.' He thought. 'He probably feels like he has no one. He's probably exhausted doing what he's doing. Too bad he acts so straight, it'll be hard to get him to come around without a fight.' As if the thought hadn't occurred to him before, Jack gasped. When had he made it his objective to lend a hand to some stranger.

'There's something about him...' Jack thought as he neared an apartment complex. 'Something that makes me... hopeful.'

He climbed the stairs and knocked on a door. A tall man with blonde hair, and handsomely rugged looks opened the door. His eyes were extraordinarily calm, with a deep hue of forest green. Jack almost blushed at the mere sight of him.

"Hi. Is Frank here?" Jack inquired, leaning to the side to see if his friend was present.

"No. But he'll be back in a couple of minutes. He just went out to get some drinks. You wanna come in?"

"Uh, ok. Who are you?" Jack asked, tilting his head.

"Noah." Just the way the man said the name made Jack shudder. Something about this man chilled him to the core, and yet intrigued him at the same time.

"That's a nice name." Jack said, more to himself.

"You must be Jack." The older man remarked and sat down in a recliner.

"Yea. How did you know?"

"Well, Frank only talks to one high school kid. Im guessing its you." The man said as he lighted a cigarette.

"Im not a kid!" Jack argued and sat down on the sofa. 

"The braces speak for themselves."

"Im not a kid!" Jack said again, eyes flashing.

"Virgins _are_ kids..."

"Whoa! How do you even know if Im a virgin?"

"Trust me, I know." The man looked off in another direction, seemingly uninterested.

"Boy you're cocky!" Jack bristled, his young face shadowed with irritation. 

"You bet I am."

Jack crossed his arms and observed this man more closely. This must have been the room-mate Frank had managed to get. Not surprisingly, he was very good looking; tall, fit and well dressed. Frank had such superficial guidelines in who his room-mates were. This man was different from the rest of the lot. Jack had only known Frank for two years, but his friends were all ostentatious and kind people. 

This man was, darker in some sense. He had such a bored expression, as if he knew everything but didn't know what to do with this knowledge. 

"Why do you want to talk to Frank anyway?" The man asked suddenly.

"I just wanted to know if there were any parties in the city tonight, you know at his school or something."

"Well, there is."

"Really? How do you know? You go to Columbia with him?"

"Yup. But Im not going to the party. I heard its at this guy Will Truman's dorm room. Its probably gonna be a real snooze. No one like us around." The blonde put out his cigarette and looked at Jack.

"Will Truman! So _that_ was his name!" Jack stood up. "Oh my god! The party, you _have_ to tell me about it!"

"Why, you got the hots for him or something? He's not coming out of the closet anytime soon."

"You know him?" Jack asked in disbelief. 

"Yea I do. Worst closeted oaf I've ever seen." Noah laughed dryly. 

"Oh wow. I thought I was the only one who thought so."

"You want to drag him out of the closet?" 

"I don't know, I mean I've been thinking about it.... a lot. Its weird, but I kinda feel sorry for him,"

"You like him don't you?" Noah teased, with an amused smile on his face.

"I do not! I just want to help him!"

"Jack, if you helped every closeted gay guy you met, you would be working forever. You couldn't be considering helping this one unless you liked him."

"Shut up! You don't know anything!" Jack hissed and grabbed his things.

"Oh and I supposed you know more than I do?"

"I know enough, to know that you don't know anything about what I really know!" He stuck out his tongue and prepared to leave.

"Jack. The party's tonight at nine o'clock, dorm room 115." Noah's eyes deepened in amusement. "Be sure to tell me how it goes..." The man smirked as Jack left in a huff.

Trotting down the stairs and out of the building, Jack ran into Frank.

"Hey Jackie! How ya doing?" The college student greeted sunnily, and patted his younger friend on the shoulder. "Why you so flustered?"

"Just met your room-mate." Jack muttered.

"Oh. I know he's different, but he's a very cool guy."

"To you maybe. God, what an arrogant bastard."

"Now now, he's not so arrogant. He just gets... annoyed, with you know..."

"With what?" Jack's frown deepened.

"Well, kids."

"Im not a fucking kid!" Jack screeched and began to stomp off.

"Jack I didn't mean it that way!" Frank called after him. "Come on."

Jack paused and sighed. He decided to change the subject. 

"Im going to a party in the city. Will Truman's party."

"Oh him." Frank smirked, a knowing gleam in his dark brown eyes. 

"What? What about him? You can tell too?"

"Of course! Every gay guy at Columbia knows! But we choose to keep our distance. Its much too sad to think about."

"Well. Im going to the party. You wanna come?"

"Nah, Noah and I are having some guys over and then we're gonna hit the clubs."

"Aw! Bummer!" Jack groaned. "I wish I could go. It sucks being underage."

"Yea." Frank smiled sympathetically. "Well, I'll see ya Jackie."

"Bye!" 

Jack began to make his way home. Turning a corner, he began to think of how he would go about talking to Will. He could be aloof, or a know it all, or he could just give it to the guy on a plate, screaming at him: "You're gay! You're gay!"

'I'll just be myself.' Jack giggled excitedly. 'I can't wait to see him!'

As he walked up the path to his house, a shadow caught his eye.

"What do you want Jesse?" 

"I wanted to talk to you." He blocked the stoop, denying Jack access to his own door. 

"About what?" 

"You know, us."

"There is no us. Just leave!" 

"Please Jack, don't do this to me!" Jesse dropped to his knees and clutched Jack's coat.

"Jesse! My dad is inside! He might see!" Jack pulled away and shoved his ex to the side. "Just go, Please, please go." 

After Jesse left, Jack went inside and got ready for the party. Tonight would be a night of breakthrough. Something would be accomplished.

"Ok Will Truman! Time to meet you're maker!" Jack grinned at his reflection and headed out.

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_i saw Will again. Boy was it fun! The party was a snore, but I sure had fun cornering Will. He was so caught off guard. I felt very powerful. And god he looked cute with his guard dropped! I wonder how he'd look with his pants dropped! I gave him my card and offered my services. He seemed pretty pissed off, as expected. But I feel I opened him up a bit. I think he's starting to recognize his true self. Its kind of fulfilling, knowing that I'm helping him. He was so lost and in pain, I could see it. I wonder if he'll call me._

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Note: If I get anything wrong about Jack or Will's past, please don't tell me, Im sorry if facts are distorted. If you can't cope, then consider the fic AU. Personally I think its mildly accurate. 

Well, if I get feedback it would be very cool! If I don't, oh well I coming out with chapter 2 anyway! Love ya!


	2. Chapter 2

Note: I've decided to omit the 'dear diary' part of Jack's POVs. Honestly, I myself don't remember writing 'dear diary' in my own journals, and it just seemed weird to keep that; so it's changed. They can be treated as little excerpts from his diary though. 

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Someday My Prince Will Come

Chapter 2

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_Will and I have become very close friends. Or at least I think so. He seems so completely lost, its funny and sad at the same time. He dumped his girlfriend, or she dumped him, I forgot. He felt so freaking bad about being gay, and for hurting her feelings that I wanted to throw up. He kept wanting to see her again, to tell her it wasn't her fault, and that he still loved her. (Gag!) I understand why he would feel bad for her, but he needs to stop acting like being gay is so terrible. I've been trying to help him get a date, and get used to his new life. But he is still very stubborn sometimes. He even came out to his parents already, but acts like he is still straight. Its going to take a lot of work to convince him that he needn't pretend anymore. _

_But I can't help liking him. He's so nice and cute. I wonder if he likes me._

_School starts in a couple of days. I don't want to go. But I remember the Snow White auditions are on the second day back and Im kind of psyched about that. Im sure Ill get a part of some sort. Everything's going right lately!_

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"Its the best feeling in the world. Its like you're floating and falling at the same time. But no matter what, it feels good..."

Jack's eyes drifted from his friend, over to the traffic beside the coffee house. The January evening was chilly, but not as icy as it had been for a time. People were making the most of it; going out into the city to shop or to simply be out of their homes. 

The young men sat together, in the popular cafe they often frequented. The older of the two, was visibly strained; eyes in a state of unrest. 

"Really. All this from a kiss?" Will asked skeptically.

"Yup."

"You act like its so different from a heterosexual kiss."

"It is."

"Shouldn't it be the same?"

"No. Its completely different!"

"How do you know?"

"Because. Hetero kisses are just gross!" Jack exclaimed, frowning in distaste. "Besides there's nothing like kissing a man. Trust me, I know."

Will's eyes met his and then descended to the drinks on the table. 

"Do you know everything?" Will asked.

"Of course I do!" Jack smiled, failing to notice the unconvinced expression on his companion's face.

"Have you... done... everything?"

Jack paused for a moment, looking closely at his friend.

"What do you mean?"

"You know, have you _done_ everything?" Will asked, almost impatiently. Jack's eyes lowered to his half finished muffin. 

"No." He replied softly and quickly looked up again. Will sat back resignedly, as if he was disappointed.

"But I know everything there is to know about it! I know how to do it and everything- I just haven't done it yet!" He said hurriedly, attempting to remedy the situation. They sat in silence for a while.

"Surprising." Will said at last, not looking at Jack. 

"What?"

"The way you carry on about it... I figured you'd done it already." Will muttered, not catching the flash of pain in his friend's eyes. 

"Im sorry."

"Its ok. I can't expect so much from a sixteen year old." The college student said, and downed the rest of his coffee.

A bitter twinge of anger coursed through Jack, and he glared back down at his muffin. He soon calmed as Will looked at him, smiling.

"I wonder if I'd be any good at it."

"Good at what? Kissing?" Jack raised an eyebrow. "Im sure you've done it before."

"I have... I mean I know its just kissing, but I've never kissed a _guy_ before..." Will looked at Jack thoughtfully, and sat forward. A tense silence hung over them, and they sat, both expecting the other to say something. 

"You wanna try it?" Jack asked abruptly. 

"What?"

"Kissing a guy. You wanna try it?" He asked again, more eagerly.

"With who?" Will's eyes narrowed.

"With me."

"What? No."

"Oh come on. It'll be fun." Jack coaxed excitedly, and tugged on his friend's sleeve.

"We can't do it here." Will said nervously. Jack bit his lip for a second, and then brightened. 

"Come on," He said, taking Will's hand. "We'll go to my house."

"Your house? Really?" Will asked, intrigued. He hadn't seen Jack's house yet; the boy never wanted to go home for some reason. 

"Yea, I don't think my parents are home."

'Ah. Parents.' Will thought, and followed his friend out to the street.

The house was dark. Even with the porch light on, it was obscured by the shadows that the surrounding trees gave off. Will looked up at the dwelling, admiring the mysterious facade. He walked towards the gate with Jack, and was still very nervous about how his friend would go about showing him.

"Jack." 

"What?" Jack opened the gate and reached into his pocket for the house key.

"Who's that?" Will asked, and pointed to a dark figure sitting on the curb across the street. Jack squinted at the person, having trouble making out who it was. 

"I don't know." Jack muttered and ushered his friend into the house.

"What's his deal?"

"Nothing. He's probably just waiting for someone." Jack took Will's coat and hung it up. 

The two marched up the stairs towards Jack's bedroom. The teenager inspected the rooms, confirming that no one else was inside. He then lead Will into his room.

Will looked around at the boy's room, observing his posters and belongings. The room was a little dark, even as Jack switched on the light. Bed was neatly made, most likely by his mother. Will turned to look at the desk; littered with paper, teen magazines, schoolbooks and a journal. A stack of records sat beside the wall, beneath the window. On the window sill stood a flower pot. The flower was not in bloom yet, due to the winter, but already it held a lustrous color...

"I had to grow that for life science. I don't know why I still have it..." Jack told him as he took off his shoes. 

"It's... nice" Will murmured, still gazing at the bud. A vague and foreign feeling crept into him, and he wondered how the flower would look if it was in bloom, how far would its petals stretch in the summer, when everything was grown and enlightened.

"Okay Will," He heard Jack say.

Will turned around.

"I don't think this is a good idea." He said nonchalantly. 

"Why?"

"I don't know. Its just weird..."

"Will. You want to try this right?" Jack asked and motioned for Will to sit down on the bed. The college student swallowed nervously but sat down cross legged, in the center of the mattress.

"Yea," 

"Then what's holding you back? Im just gonna kiss you, Will. Im not gonna pounce on you and ask for a freaking engagement ring." Jack sat down next to him in the middle of the bed, and smiled. "Its all innocent fun."

Will hesitated for a second but then nodded. Scooting closer to Jack, he closed his eyes tight and sat stiff. Jack stared at him for a while. 'God. He's like a wall.'

"Will. You can't be rigid and stuff, you got to relax." Jack soothed, getting on his knees. Will opened his eyes a bit, to look up at his companion's pleasant face. That reassuring smile put him at ease.

"Okay. Okay." Will breathed, closed his eyes briefly and then looked back up at Jack. "Like floating and falling at the same time, right?"

"Right." Jack's eyes softened, and he leaned forward, gently taking Will's lips with his own. His hands came up to Will's shoulders, and rested there. 

At first Will tensed, but soon he began to kiss back; it felt vaguely familiar and yet so very different. His hand rose to the back of Jack's head, to stroke his hair. After ten seconds, Jack broke the contact and sighed unevenly. Will emerged, perplexed and strangely calm.

"So?" Jack asked calmly, despite the hammering in his chest. 'Boy was that something!' he thought. He hoped to god that he wasn't blushing. In that instant, Jack began to sense something inside of him... the little feelings he felt towards Will; they were thickening. And his heart would not stop pounding. 'God. I hoped he felt something.' The teenager looked at Will.

"It was like kissing a girl." Will said blankly, still lost in thought.

"Oh." Jack breathed out, crestfallen. 

"Well, now that I've tried it, I know its not so different." Will said cheerfully. "I wonder what it would be like on a real date..." The older youth said pensively and jumped to his feet. "I gotta go now Jack. Thanks a bunch, I'll call you tomorrow okay?"

Will left the room, jingling the change in his pocket. Jack listened as the sound faded down the stairs and disappeared. 

"Okay." Jack replied meekly and lied down on the bed.

...falling.... falling.... falling

`````````

"I saw him with his girlfriend once." Noah uttered from his gloomy corner in the apartment. Jack's eyes rose to meet his, and he shrugged.

"So what?"

"They were kissing. He seemed to know how to do it well. I don't know why you tried to 'help' him, if he already knew."

"Maybe you're right. But he was pretty nervous about kissing a _guy_, and I just wanted to help him get past that." Jack replied tensely. His hand came up to tuck a strand of hair behind his ear, and he sighed. 

It was just the two of them. Noah was reading some book, when he came over. Initially he wanted to talk to Frank about what he had done with Will. Jack had sworn to himself that he would not sit and talk with the mysterious Noah again. But there Jack was, spilling his thoughts out on the coffee table; expecting the smug man to put them in order for him.

"What other childish nonsense have you been teaching him?" Noah asked, closing his book and opening another one. 

"Excuse me?" Jack flared. "Nonsense?"

"Well from what I've heard."

"I'll have you know, Im teaching Will the essentials in how to survive and prosper in the gay world!" Jack said haughtily, and pointed a finger at Noah. The man remained placid, but his eyes grew dark.

"How to survive and prosper?! That's like telling a prisoner how to survive in prison. There is no 'world,' just us, and _that_ world out there..." Noah gestured to the window, a virulent look on his handsome face.

"Well, how to have fun at least." Jack said after a moment of quiet. 

"You know so little."

"I know enough."

They looked at each other for a while, a heated look on Jack's face, an amused look on Noah's. 'Why is he like this? Why did I come at all?' The young man fumed and considered leaving. He recalled why he was there. Frank would have helped him. He would have supported him and said, "Yes, what you're teaching Will is great. He will be a fully fledged fairy by the end of the month!" But instead his work was given an acrid; 'childish nonsense.'

But his other friend was at church. He was always there on Sunday mornings, it was strange.

"Why does Frank go to church every single Sunday?" Jack pondered aloud.

"I don't know." Noah said, becoming irritated all of a sudden. "I can't picture myself in the middle of a room, praying with a whole bunch of people who hate me."

The words were so bitter, so wry, that Jack couldn't help but feel bothered. His thoughts drifted to Will for some reason, thinking of how the once closeted boy was coping with his family and friends. Will told him that they were mostly distant, but not so horrified as to ostracize him. 

Jack sort of felt happy for Will, and envious at the same time; knowing his own father was having difficulty dealing with a gay son. Jack hadn't told his mother about anything. And not surprisingly, his father hadn't told his mother either. They were drifting apart; functioning together only at dinner, breakfast and when the time came to pay the bills. It was only a matter of time before his father left. 

He had seen it coming, and regarded it with no interest or emotion. Distant parents, called for a distant reaction from a distanced son. 

"You know, they found two kids with AIDS at a high school five miles from here." Noah said all of a sudden, putting down the book he was holding.

"What? AIDS?" Jack asked, a strange feeling arising in his chest. "That disease Frank was talking about the other day?"

"Yes. A girl and her boyfriend were diagnosed with it." 

"So?" Jack frowned. "What does that have to do with anything?"

"More and more females have been getting it." Noah stood up to grab his carton of cigarettes. "Don't you watch the news?"

"Well, I've seen stories about it. But I never really paid attention." 

"Well, when the disease was first reported, people just ignored it because it was only affecting 'our' people." Noah said sullenly, and fiddled with a cigarette. "But, now that there are more cases of women getting it, people are doing stuff about it."

"Why'd they ignore it?" 

"They wanted to let us die off." The older man said harshly, finally bringing the flame of his lighter to the end of his cigarette. Jack did not understand the new virus, or what it was about, or who it even affected. All he knew was that there was no cure; no way out. And if you had it, you were immediately branded a homosexual, or someone who associated with one. 

"I don't want to hear about it." Jack sighed, and stretched. "I don't really care either. As long as I don't catch it, Im fine. I don't want to learn the gruesome details, thank you very much."

Jack rose to his feet, trying to forget everything Noah had been talking about. He had other things to think about; like his audition the next week, and when he would see Will again. Pulling his jacket on, the teen gave a small smile at the man on the couch.

"Tell Frank I came by." He said cheerfully and exited. Noah sat peacefully on the recliner, inwardly intrigued with the blithe boy who just left the apartment.

``````````

Jack trotted down the street, smiling, despite himself. His thoughts kept lingering back to that disease Noah was talking about. A few frightening images came up in his head, of men writhing in misery, on cold and sterile hospital beds, with cold and sterile hospital doctors. And all these doctors would know nothing; appeasing their patients with rotting euphemisms. 

He decided to not think about it. Something good would happen. They would find a cure, and everyone would be okay. Jack walked up to his gate, a light smile on his face.

"Jack." 

The boy nearly jumped out of his shoes. He whirled around to glare at the anxious face of his ex-boyfriend.

"Don't sneak up on me like that!" Jack screeched and opened the gate. He climbed the stoop and pulled out his key.

"Who is he?" Jesse asked from the other side of the gate. 

"What?" Jack asked, studying the crazed look of pain and anxiety on his older friend's face.

"Who is that guy you're always with?" He asked more fervently, a menacing hint of anger in eyes. 'What is he following me around or something?' Jack thought, deeply annoyed.

"Oh, you mean Will. Not that its your business, but he's my friend." Jack told him. "As are you. Now go home." 

"But-"

"Go home Jesse!" Jack scolded and slammed the door as he entered the house. He rolled his eyes and treaded towards the living room. "Ugh. What a pest."

The house greeted him with its silence. He smirked. He loved it when the house was empty. As he headed to the TV room the silence was split by the ringing of the telephone. Jack skipped to the hallway and picked it up.

"Hellooo!" Jack sang. 

"_Hello?_"

"Oh hi Will!" Jack's face turned even brighter than before at the sound of that voice.

"_I think Im in trouble._"

"Why?" Jack asked, concerned.

"_Well, uh, I was talking to this guy, and he said we could go out for a couple of drinks. Is that like a date?_" Will asked on the other end.

"It just sounds casual to me." Jack said in a bored tone. 

"_What should I do?_"

"I don't know. Meet the guy up I guess. " Jack uttered, a bit dejectedly. 

"_You guess?_"

"He sounds straight to me." 

"_really?_"

"I don't know. I think you should just wait for a while Will. You know until you're ready for something like a date or a boyfriend." Jack said. Will was silent for a moment.

"_Maybe you're right. Thanks Jack._"

"No problem." Jack smiled weakly and hung up the phone. 

`````````

_School is starting tomorrow. Auditions for Snow White, which I really don't want to go to anymore, are this week also. I mean, the only thing there is for me to play is, Prince Charming, and I doubt Mrs. Coopman will cast me. I just want to be in it; whether playing the piano on the side or just as a tree or something. Of course, in a perfect world, I ,would be Snow White, and all the dwarves would be six feet tall and shamelessly hot. And of course Prince Charming would be the hottest of all!_

_ I hope this semester goes good for me. And I hope Will becomes more confident too. Maybe he will get a boyfriend soon. I'll try and help him with that._

````````


	3. Chapter 3

```````````````

Someday My Prince Will Come

Chapter 3

``````````````

It was a bright morning. Jack sprung out of bed and into the shower. 

'New semester!' He cheered internally. Recalling how Will's vacation was longer than his was, he smiled. 'I hope he doesn't get into trouble while Im in school.' Jack finished washing his hair and rinsed down. Shutting off the water, Jack hastened into his clothes and raced down the stairs. He was about to grab a bagel and leave, when he noticed his parents had been in the middle of an argument.

Upon seeing their son in the doorway, the two ceased and began their morning routines. Jack raised an eyebrow but quickly lost interest. Had they been arguing about him? If it was his own fault they were in such a place, he would have made an effort to make things better. But they weren't saying anything else, so he quickly dropped that notion.

"Bye mom." He said, picking up his folder and bag. As bright as the morning was, the cold was unrelenting. In a fast walk, Jack cut through the park, eager to have the warmth of the school building around him.

A touch of excitement graced his fine features. Everything was going great. And the semester would no doubt be a good one. He was only hoping however, blind optimism was one of his faults. 

'Its going to be a great day!' Jack predicted as he did almost every morning. Doing this gave him a sense of hope and assurance. But now that he had a close friend, it made him all the more hopeful. He couldn't wait to see Will again. He thought about all the fun he and Will had over the vacation. 

**flashback**

"God Will, you're like a freakin' sausage on the dance floor!" Jack exclaimed jokingly as Will struggled to move in the way he had instructed him.

"Sausage?" 

"Yea. You're supposed to sizzle like bacon!" He smiled and began to move. Will stood back, and watched his friend shift back and forth in his dorm, freely using his arms whenever necessary. He made it look so easy, dancing with an elegance so subtle and appropriate for the genre of music they were practicing to.

"Now you go." Jack said, and gestured to his friend. 

"I can't." Will said, a bit tired. "Can't we do something else?"

"You're giving up." Jack stated in shock.

"Im not. Its just-"

"No. We are going to resume training!" Jack said with exaggerated jurisdiction. He pulled out a record from his bag.

"What is that?" Will asked, peering over his friend's shoulder.

"Some salsa, cumbia and merenge. Its easy stuff. You should be able to do this." Jack said and put it in the record player. "If you can dance to this, you'll definitely be able to dance to other things."

The music started and Jack began; putting both hands on his hips, the teenager moved back and forth with a flawless rhythm, shaking his hips slightly at the right moments.

"Its simple; three steps forward, three steps back, and all you gotta do is shake your booty a little in between!"

"This is what, salsa?" Will asked as he tried to mirror his companion's movements.

"Merenge. The easiest Latin dance ever!" Jack said, a little frustrated that Will wasn't stepping in time. His steps were awkward, he looked pained and he wasn't shaking his booty! Jack sighed and watched him a little. 

"You are so tense Will. You have to relax and feel the music." 

A look of pure misery crossed Will's face as he said that.

"I can feel it just fine. Its just _this_ music!"

Jack gasped dramatically.

"Never blame 'el baile!'" Jack snapped his fingers in a Spanish ole' style and frowned. "You got to let the music get inside you. Listen to the way the drums beat, and the melody. Let the beat hit your spine and make it move!" He screeched and gestured for Will to try again.

"Its too hard." Will said in a strange tone. "Let me see it again."

Jack sighed and did it again, but slower.

"How come _you_ look good when you do it?" Will asked, an innocent look of frustration on his face.

"Uh, I-" Jack stuttered, heat rising to his cheeks. "Its all in the back and hips."

"Hm." Will practiced in place, moving his hips.

"Its kinda like a belly-dance, but a very, very easy one. Your hips move as your feet do, and you have to put some spice to it!" Jack halted to give Will the space.

"Okay... " Will did it slowly, putting one foot in front of the other and mimicking his friend's hip movements. All the while Jack tried not to giggle, watching as Will attempted to put the 'spice' in the dance that he'd asked for. Will did it a few times, then looked expectantly at Jack.

"Good. Better than before. But I still don't think you're into the music enough." Jack's face turned serious, and he looked at the wall. "You have to be there, with the bands playing the song, in that party that they're singing about... let it take over you... you know?" 

They were quiet for a little while, listening to the song end.

"Its a girl their singing about." Will said.

"What?"

"I take it you don't understand Spanish." Will grinned.

"So? I thought they always sang about parties in their dance songs." Jack pondered.

"Well, in American Latin songs they sing about parties a lot. But most of the time they sing about love. You should really look into it." Will sighed and sat on his bed.

"How do you know what they're saying?" 

"Took Spanish all through high school. Still taking it now." Will said and lied back on the mattress. 

"So, I guess you're tired." Jack sighed and collected his things. "I'll leave my record here, so you can practice, okay?" 

"Okay. Thanks Jack." Will smiled.

**end flashback**

The blue eyed boy neared the end of the park, spying a jogging man trample over a bed of flowers as he passed. 

'God what a jerk.'

````

Jack climbed the stairs and opened the doors to the school building. As he entered, many students faces raised up. Oblivious to their probing eyes, Jack continued towards his locker. People were surprisingly still and quiet; he heard several whispers whirl around him as he walked. As he moved, their eyes met him; almost glaring. Jack frowned; they were glaring at him. 

Suddenly the hall seemed much longer. He walked a bit faster, trying to ignore the whispers. 'What are they whispering about?!' Jack thought, a nervous feeling augmenting in his chest. He could barely make out some of it;

"Oh my god"

"I bet he-"

"Can you believe it?" 

Jack sighed and stood before his locker, mind wandering back to his friend. It was becoming more than just a crush, he could tell. It was an intrinsic feeling of admiration and fondness ; and it kept growing with each moment he spent with the confused and hesitant college student. Shaking out of his dreamy state, he stared down at the lock, and began to enter the combination. As he unlocked it, a large shadow hovered behind him. Jack turned around.

_Slam_! His back met the locker with torrid force, causing him to drop his bag and folder. He opened his eyes and noticed he was pinned unceremoniously against the metal surface, by a disdainful looking senior. As quickly as he was slammed into the lockers, he was thrown to the ground.

"Goddamn faggot!" The boy snarled. 

Jack went rigid as that caustic word hit him, sinking into his skin. He tried to gather up his things; frantically grabbing for his scattered papers. The leering upper class-man stood by, kicking away at his belongings. As Jack's gaze rose to meet his aggressor's, he noticed a crowd forming.

A number of athletes and regular students alike, massed against him; their contemptuous sneers all grouped together. James' face was among them. Feeling a dull terror building inside him, the boy stayed planted on the ground.

"He probably gave it to that kid at Jackson High!" Rang a voice from the crowd. 

"Yea." The towering youth in front of Jack said with disgust. "You spreading your disease, fairy?"

"Wh-what?" Jack's eyes went wide.

"He is, he is!" Another voice called. 

"You plan on giving us _all_ AIDS?" The senior before him asked harshly. Jack's face went white. 

"What are you talking about?" He asked, and felt his mouth dry up.

"He's gonna give it to us!" A girl chided. 

"No, no, its not true, I don't have-" As he tried to stand, another senior emerged from the crowd and poured a bag full of lipsticks and maxipads over him. 

"Of course you do!" Another athlete jeered, shoving him back against the lockers. 

"All faggots are getting what they deserve." 

"Now you want to spread it to us? Keep your virus to yourself!" 

"... no... I don't, I haven't even-" Jack brought a hand to his face, feeling his body begin to shake. He wanted to cry. He needed to cry. But he couldn't cry in front of these people. He couldn't let them know that he was being hurt. 

'What's happening?' He asked himself, fighting the urge to breakdown in front of his peers. 

"I think he's gonna cry."

"He knows he's done wrong!"

"God is punishing all fags."

"Yea, don't punish _us_ with it!"

The harassment ground on. Desperately, Jack searched the crowd for someone that could help him, someone who would demur what these people were accusing him of. But there was no one.

He saw Liz from drama; an impassive look on her face. He saw James participating in the mockery. He saw many who had spoken to him before, in geniality. But now their faces were muddled and mixed with the hate the crowd was emitting.

The bell rang. 

``````

Jack was late to first period. Having been denied the time to retrieve his new schedule, the boy stumbled into class, to meet the hard and hateful stares of his drama class. As he walked in a girl stuck her leg out to trip him. 'This is gonna be a long day.' Jack despaired. His teacher assigned the new seating chart, placing Jack's seat in front of James. 

'Heavenly.' Jack thought dismally and waited for the class to end. 

Second period was history class. His former study buddies chose a new transfer student to replace him. The teacher moved him to the front of the classroom where everyone could stare and freely talk trash. Jack could feel their eyes on him, and he groaned. Third period was english where kids dramatically distanced themselves for fear of catching his 'disease.' Fourth period was life science; where his lab partner abandoned him, and requested another one. And the teacher's ineptitude gave the students the freedom to torture him for the duration of the class. 

'It was better being ignored.' Jack thought, frozen in his seat. Hardly a stranger to ridicule, Jack could not understand or handle the magnitude of the hate and anger he had today. 

At lunch, Jack fled to the roof choosing to evade the cafeteria; which provided an arena like atmosphere. Perfect for berating a student. He sat on the ground, staring hard at the horizon.

Fifth period was math. He trudged inside, still hungry from avoiding lunch, and sat down. The class was quicker than expected, and Jack hurried off to gym class.

As soon as Jack went into the boys' locker room, he knew he was in for something. He opened his locker and jumped back as a load of more feminine products poured out, littering the ground. 

Several neighboring boys chuckled amongst themselves, obviously the culprits. Jack glared and reached inside for his gym clothes. As soon as he had changed, he ran outside for roll call. 

"Four laps!" Barked the teacher and the students were off to the football field. Jack considered running like that a great waste of time and energy. So he just walked like he always had, ignoring the screaming coach on the sidelines. He was already exhausted. Boys laughed and slapped him hard on the back each time they lapped him.

Gym was his worst class. He was thankful when it was over.

`````

Jack had never run so fast in his life. As soon as the final bell rang, he made a desperate break to avoid what after school torment any other kids had in store for him. Down the hill he raced, his legs pumping madly. His P.E. Coach would have been proud.

He crossed the park, escaping the seniors who began circling the area in their cars. Clutching his bag close, he simply ran; past the shops on the corner, past Noah and Frank's apartment complex, past the elementary school, past his gate, through the door, up the stairs and into his bedroom, where he collapsed on the ground beside his door. Where he finally surrendered and shattered into a violent fit of tears and sobs.

'Why is this happening?' Jack pulled at his hair, and ran a fist into his bag beside him. 'Why is this happening to me?' 

The fear was unbearable. The dread that enveloped him was unbearable. Being punished for something he was not a part of, made him cry harder. Why would such a thing happen, when he was so sure things were going perfectly?

It was supposed to be a good day. He promised himself it would be.

"Why is this happening?!" He asked the ceiling, and continued to cry into the carpet.

`````````


	4. Chapter 4

Sorry for taking so long... 

```````````

Someday My Prince Will Come

Chapter 4

``````````

Will hopped off the bus and sighed as a crisp wind whirled around him. The neighborhood was mildly busy; cars whizzing by, people returning from work in cabs and cars. He glanced at a stoplight, and waited for the crossing signal to appear. Once it did, he hurried across the street towards Jack's house.

Winter vacation had been a very tense time for him. He had come out to his parents and his friends; losing several who were uncomfortable with his sexuality. Already burdened with the pressures of college life, he was now struggling with fitting properly in the gay world.

At least he wasn't alone. Will's thoughts wandered over to his friend and he smirked. The boy was a pest. But he had to admit, he made everything easier for him to deal with. And he did this all with such a cheerful disposition... it was unsettling and comforting at the same time. Will walked down the road and past a park, making his way towards a familiar row of houses.

Once again his mind was drifting elsewhere. He began to wonder if he would ever be comfortable with his sexuality, and if he would be as open about it as his younger friend. That thought made him cringe a little.

Will approached Jack's house. It was very dark, considering the fact that it was still early in the evening. It appeared that no one was home. The young man frowned slightly at the open gate and walked up the stoop, towards the door. He knocked a couple times. Receiving no answer, Will reached for the knob; the door was unlocked.

'Weird.' Will thought and entered the house. Perhaps Jack was still at the audition he had been going on and on about. 'He would have been home already.' The young man pondered, carefully stepping into the living room. Will clutched his bag and looked around the house.

"Jack?" He called out and sighed. The place was deathly silent; it made him nervous. There was no one in the lower part of the house. Will crept up the stairs, towards his friend's bedroom. The place was so dark, he began wondering if ambling about in someone else's house was appropriate. Cautiously, he pushed open the bedroom door, not sure if he would find his friend inside.

Greeted by the blackness of the room, Will squinted and felt along the wall for a light-switch. He couldn't find one. Fortunately, the window allowed some of the light from the setting sun to pour inside. As his eyes adjusted, he could barely make out the desk and the flower pot, with the wilting flower. His eyes roamed over to the bed, which was vacant and still made. 

It was then that Will noticed a figure, curled up on the floor beside the closet. It was Jack. In an instant he rushed to his side.

"Jack?" Will shook him. The boy was not been sleeping but laying on the ground, with a distant look of exhaustion in his eyes. "Jack what's wrong?"

Jack's eyes broke from their perplexed state. As he noticed Will by his side, he sat up against the closet door.

"Will..." he breathed out.

Will frowned at the wan and pained look on his friend's face. His hair was disheveled, as if he had been pulling at it. And his cheeks were discolored from what seemed to have been a while of crying. He had never seen him in such a state.

"Jack what happened?" Will asked and sat down in front of his friend. Jack smiled brightly at Will, feeling completely relieved to see him. "Jack?"

"N-nothing." Jack managed, trying to find his voice. "Just a really bad day."

"Do you wanna talk about it?" Will asked gently, brushing some hair out of his friend's face. Jack's face darkened, and he tensed up. 

"I really, really don't..." Jack wiped his face with the back of his hand and let out a sigh.

"How long have you been here?" Will asked. 

"...little while." 

A lie. Jack glanced over at the clock. He had been there since he had gotten home; a couple of hours. Will looked at him uncertainly, but he took the boy's answer and rose to turn on the light.

"I came over to return the record and cassettes you let me borrow." Will said as he found the lamp. 

"Oh?" Jack struggled to his feet and sat down on the bed. "Done with them already?"

"Well, I was hoping you could help me some more. " Will sat down. "... you know with the dancing... "

Jack nodded mutely, still off in another place. Will frowned.

"Are you sure you don't want to talk about it?" 

"Im sure." Jack bit curtly and walked over to the bathroom to fix his hair. Will watched him go into the adjacent room, with a stern look on his face. Something had happened to Jack that day. Something bad. The thought of his younger friend in pain made him feel uneasy. It was an anomaly that disturbed him. Will wasn't too sure if he should pursue questioning the uncertainty he was feeling... 

"Hey Jack?" Will asked from his spot on the bed.

"Yea?"

"You wanna go out into the city or something?"

Jack paused shortly as he combed his hair. It was usually he who initiated what they did and where they went. It was strange to have Will suggest something.

"O... kay." Jack responded apprehensively. "But we can't stay out too late. I have school in the morning." He groaned as he was reminded of that reality.

"Of course. We could just go out for coffee or something... or Central Park. You're probably tired of this place." Will said, wandering over to Jack's desk, peering inside the drawers. Jack came out of the bathroom, with a look of wonder in his eyes.

"I am." 

"Okay, let's go." Will smiled. 

`````

Will and Jack wandered together down a secluded path in the park. The night was clear but a bit frosty. All evening the two had been together, not really talking, just enjoying each other's company. Jack was greatly contented with a few things his older friend had done for him. He took him to a shop to get a new jacket, and elsewhere for a couple of magazines. Then they went to a coffee shop for something warm to drink, while they meandered through Central Park.

Jack held his coffee close and looked down at the shopping bag in his friend's hand. The night was so peaceful, very different from the numerous frenzied activities they engaged in; such as dancing and going over gay regulations of dress. But now, it was different. Will was showing what _he_ had to offer as a friend.

'I could get used to this.' Jack mused and looked up at the sky, believing he was seeing stars. It was difficult to find them in the middle of the city. He turned to see Will looking closely at him.

"What is it?" Jack asked, self consciously turning away. 

"Nothing. Its just-never mind." Will smirked and kept walking.

"What?" Asked a now curious Jack. 

"Its nice to see you like that."

"Like what?"

"Calm." 

Jack blinked in bewilderment as Will found a bench to sit on. The younger boy took a sip of his drink and followed suit. They sat in a comfortable silence, watching the trees sway.

"I like this place."

"The park?"

"Sure."

Will opened his mouth to say something, but hesitated. 

"Will?"

"Yea."

"What do you plan on doing, when you get your homo stamp of approval?" Jack joked.

"I don't know. I was hoping you'd be there to help me... to, you know, get a boyfriend or something."

"I'll be there don't worry. As long as you keep buying me pretty things!" Jack looked into the shopping bag. They smiled at each other.

"And what do _you_ plan to do Jack?"

"What do you mean?"

"After high school. Do you plan on going to college or something?"

"I don't know about college. But, I do want to be a famous actor!" He exclaimed, his eyes sparkling. "I want to sing and dance on Broadway, and then maybe star in a movie with Cher."

Will chuckled and shook his head. His friend sure knew how to hope. Another thought crossed his mind and he grew reluctant to voice it.

Jack smiled at Will, taking notice of his now nervous demeanor. He seemed to want to say something.

"Jack... " Will began nervously. "Do you think there's true love for people, like... "

"Like what?"

"...like us." Will asked in a hushed voice. Jack's eyes flashed for a moment.

"Of course I do!" He said earnestly. Will bit his lip, fiddling with his empty paper cup. The air suddenly got chillier. Jack wrapped his arms around himself, watching his friend. 'Why would he ask a question like that?'

"I just wanted to know your opinion." Will said, as if he had been reading his mind. "Others see it... differently."

"Don't think about them." Jack said firmly. "I know they see it differently. But its wrong for them to tell us we can't find our dream guys and get married and be happy."

"Marriage?" Will asked incredulously. 

"Well, yeah, why not?"

They were quiet, as a couple walked past them.

"And do you plan on waiting until marriage?" Will asked.

"For what?"

"To have... sex." He said the word as if it were illegal. 

"Well, I don't want to wait _that_ long." said Jack lowly.

"Well then? What are the rules for losing gay virginity?" Will asked, smiling a bit. Jack's eyes were clouded for a brief moment, and he bore inward, trying to find a good answer. 

"I think..." he began carefully. "...if you do it, it should be with someone special... and hot, of course! That person doesn't have to be the one you marry... but he should be someone you love very much." 

Will nodded and sat back, apparently satisfied with the answer, but a hint of pain still plagued his brown eyes. Jack sighed, feeling very tired all of a sudden.

"We should be getting back... " Will said and stood up. Jack groaned inwardly, not wanting to go home. He was finding himself very comfortable with Will. But, he had to get back before his curfew. Not that his parents chastised him too severely about it. Still it gave him a sense of stability to know he had to be somewhere. 

"I love this city." Jack sighed as they neared the bus stop.

"Yea? It can be a pretty crummy place." muttered Will, his eyes narrowing.

"Maybe..." Jack murmured.

````

Will made sure Jack got home safely, and began to travel back into the city. As he sat in the bus, a feeling of frustration flooded him. The night poured past him as the bus moved, and he watched with aching eyes as the cold city came back into view. 

Until that moment he had not begun to feel so hopeless and afraid. He had not considered the fact that he was coming closer to finally being what he always was afraid of being. It was still difficult to think about these things. Much of him still wanted to hide, still wanted to be part of the crowd, part of what society wanted.

But he couldn't. And Jack was the brilliantly obnoxious symbol of that stark reality. He would always be who he was, what he was. Despite all of what he tried, what he wanted to try with Jack, everything he was trying to learn... he couldn't help but hate it. The depression overtook him for the rest of the bus-ride.

For some reason, he thought about Grace.

````````

Jack turned in his bed, holding the new jacket Will had bought him. He smelled it, still remembering how much he'd gushed over it, and how much Will insisted that he'd get it for him. 

'Why was he being so nice tonight anyway?' Jack asked himself. As he remembered, a wave of realization washed over him. 'He saw me on the floor... he saw me when I was sad.' Jack cringed in shame, but only clutched the jacket closer. 

````````

_I missed the first day of auditions. But I won't let that stop me. I still got another day to try out for a part, or for the crew. I truly do not want to go to school tomorrow. Maybe I can ask Noah why people are so freaked out lately about this AIDS thing. _

_Will is getting better at the whole gay thing. I guess I should be proud. But his face looks sad and he acts as if being what he is, is such a curse. He wants to learn from me supposedly. I think he just wants to pretend some more. But he has the strangest way of cheering me up. I think its nice and yet I felt weird. He took me into the city, bought me stuff and just talked with me. I think he's so great. I wish I could spend time with him everyday._

````````


	5. Chapter 5

``````````

Someday My Prince Will Come

Chapter 5

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Before Jack headed out into the frosty morning, he stood in front of his full length mirror and contemplated what to wear. His new jacket seemed inviting, and was begging to be worn. But somehow, it didn't fit with the rest of his clothes. This proved to be quite difficult.

'I'll make it work!' Jack thought determinedly and threw it on over a white shirt. He got into his shoes and gave the mirror a shiny smile.   
'Won't work.' He tore it away and tossed it onto the bed. Giving a dejected sigh, Jack got into his normal coat and threw on a scarf. He looked back at the new jacket sadly. 'Maybe another day.'

As he neared the bottom of the stairs, he heard the angry voice of his mother. It was rare to see her very upset. Her parents were arguing again. He rolled his eyes and ambled into the kitchen, quickly reaching for a fruit and heading out the door.

"Jack... " Rang a feminine voice. He groaned and turned around, surprised to see the sad and remorseful eyes of his mother. "Have a good day, okay?" 

"Okay." He responded, still astounded.

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As Jack approached the school, recalled the previous day. A heavy sense of dread settled over him like a fog. But he refused to break the semblance he had built. Steeling himself for the day ahead, Jack walked through the double doors of the building.

Almost instantly, a gust of sardonic remarks and giggles saluted him. He ground his teeth and walked on. The gay jokes did him no harm. He knew what he was. He was damned proud of what he was. It was just the accusatory utterances that bothered him. 

"Morning queenie." blurted a boy as Jack passed him. 

"Morning!" Jack replied cheerfully, giving a small wave. The boy made a derisive noise and continued conversing with the girls around him. Jack rounded a corner and paused in front of the bulletin board. Voices swam around him.

"Get away from him, he's got it." 

"What do you mean?"

"He's one of _them,_ remember?"

"Oh yea. We'd better stay away or _we_'_ll_ get it."

An anger began boiling inside Jack and he glowered at the students. Turning the other way, he headed to his first class. Once inside, he saw the stony face of James at the back of the class. 'Oh yea. I sit in front of him.' Jack despaired and trudged over to his seat.

"I heard you got that virus, faggot." Came the admonishing voice as soon as he took his seat.

"I don't." Jack gritted, not bothering to look at the self-certain mug of the senior. He couldn't believe that this closeted freak was using that word with him. 

"Where do you get off infecting those who aren't queers?" 

Jack stayed silent and opened his notebook. 

"You do know that God is doing this to all of you, don't you?" Came the voice again. "He's getting rid of all the wrong-doing people, all the sinners and perverts like you."

Jack's eyes dulled in consideration and he said, "If God thought I was wrong, then he wouldn't have made me the way I am."

The teacher then came in, hushed the class and began instruction. When the hour came to a close, she reminded everyone of the afternoon auditions and sign-up for secondary roles and jobs in the production of the charity play.

"Don't forget!" She said as they exited the classroom. Jack promised himself he wouldn't miss it.

The day pressed on. Jack could only watch as the paranoia of the virus in the school mounted. He himself did not understand the disease or the means by which one becomes infected with it. 'I'll ask Frank or Noah, after the auditions.' 

When gym class finally came around, Jack was numb with the austerity that the day gave him. The coach instructed they run a lap. But he could only walk. He completed the lap around the football field, and walked up to the volleyball nets.

"McFarland!" his coach hollered.

Jack rolled his eyes. 

"What's so hard about running one lap around the field, ya goddamned sissy?!"

"I don't feel very well." Jack droned, aware that his instructor was not convinced with the lame excuse. 

"One more around the field! And if you walk, I'll fail you!" He shouted. Jack growled and walked back down to the track, disregarding the chuckles of his classmates. He knew his teacher was justified, but he could not help but feel completely murderous.

As he jogged around, his mind was focused on a certain hope that had been lingering inside of him ever since he met Will. It was a sensation all too foreign to him. When he regarded love, he usually thought of it as something much too adult and much too serious. But now he was sensing the early signs of it... an attachment to someone. 

He wanted to ask someone about what he was feeling, why he had the constant need to be by his friend's side; to guide him and smile at him, telling him it was all right. 'You'll make it Will. You'll learn that its okay to be what you are. You will love it and accept it. And you will be gorgeous.' Jack smiled to himself as he finished the lap.

Out of breath, he looked up at his coach who was still displeased with his lack of participation.

"All right class! We're going to be playing touch football!"

Jack grimaced and kept his distance.

All the boys rushed into the locker room, instantly bursting into sound. Before he went to his locker, Jack paused in front of the mirror, dismayed that the lap around the field had caused him to mess his hair. He ran a hand through it , fingering the locks and inspecting the tips.

'Football is not good for my hair.' He thought, eyes running over the dark strands. He was caught unaware by a smack to the back of his head.

"Ouch!" He griped and whirled around. "What'd you do that for?!"

"Because I felt like it." Said James simply and pushed Jack aside to see the mirror. His friends snickered briefly.

"Shut up." Jack muttered and began to head towards his clothes locker. At once, he was shoved roughly against the tiled wall of the locker room. 

"What'd you say?" James sneered. 

"I told them to shut up." Jack said defiantly, and sneered back.

"Oh really. Don't you think that was rude?"

"No."

"Come on James, forget the queer, the bell's gonna ring." One of his friends said. James glared Jack up and down.

"Okay let's forget about him..." he smirked. "... somewhere else."

"What?" Jack asked before he was ushered towards a door that lead to a flight of stairs in the back. 

The three laughed and crooned as they dragged him down the maintenance staircase, towards the boiler room. All the while he thrashed under their hold, demanding to be let go. He looked up at James, venom in his glare. The senior was indifferent to the demands and the flogging of limbs coming from the dark-haired junior. 

"Let me go!" Jack screeched as they hauled him further down the staircase and to the lower regions of the building. Once they reached the lowest level, they pried open the boiler room door and threw him inside. As soon as he hit the ground, the door slammed shut, locking from the outside.

He was up in an instant, pounding on the door, commanding them to release him. "Let me out! James! Let me out!"

Jack heard their laughter and he snarled. "Let me out of here! Open the door!" But soon their voices began to fade up the stairs until he could no longer hear them.

"James?" He called fearfully. "Hello?" Jack tugged at the door-handle, gnawing on his lip as the darkness began to get to him. All he could see was a faint red light coming from the boiler and other soft glows from the machinery in the room. There were no other doors or ways out, and the place was sweltering.

"Hello!" Jack hollered, still yanking the handle. "Hello! Anybody! Help me! Im stuck!" He whimpered in resignation and sank to the ground. 

'Im gonna miss the auditions... ' He thought woefully and began ramming his fists into his thighs. 

"This isn't fair! This isn't fair!" He kicked at nothing in particular, and began to panic beneath the boding claustrophobia. The boilers stirred for a while and then silenced, leaving him alone with his troubles.

'James... ' Jack thought and felt betrayed. He then scoffed. 'Why feel betrayed? He doesn't want to be... but he is. And this is how he wants to deal with it... by locking it away and hating it.' Jack felt compelled to weep but didn't and continued ramming his fists into his thighs. 

"Someone! Hello!" He called again. "Someone!"

'Will. Will, help me.' Jack thought suddenly and brought his fist back down on his thigh. He began losing hope. The temperature was bothering him but he was slightly grateful that he was still in the lax feel of his gym clothes. 

"Will... " Jack murmured quietly, and remembered last night. His mouth curled into a small smile. "He was so nice... so nice."

**flashback**

"You know, you can tell me anything Jack." Will said as they stood in front of the house. 

"I guess I can." Jack said, holding the shopping bag close. "But Im fine. You don't have to worry."

"I guess not. You can take care of yourself." Will said, lacking conviction.

"I sure can." Jack said proudly.

"No one can deal with their problems alone, though." Will offered.

"Oh, I know. And if I had any problems I'd tell you." 

"Uh-huh." the older man uttered skeptically. They were mute for a little while, still not sure when to separate. Will's eyes became restless.

"You know-" Jack began before he was crushed against Will in a tight embrace. Recovering from the shock, Jack relaxed in the arms that were wrapped around his shoulders. 

"Don't forget. Im here for you, as much as you are for me." Will said, almost in a promise. Jack nodded quietly and gently broke away from the contact.

"Thanks Will." He said and opened the door to his house. "Good night."

"Good night, Jack." Will smiled warmly and turned to leave.

**end flashback**

The boilers began stirring again and Jack was startled. He wished there was more light so he could see the time on his watch. It felt like hours had passed. He ground his teeth and stood up, more determined.

"Hello!" Jack yelled as loud he could. He pounded on the door with an aching fist. "Hello! Im stuck in here! Someone open the door!"

After several minutes, Jack heard movement. "Hello? Im stuck in here! Could you open the door?"

The heavy door swung open, allowing the light to sting Jack's eyes. An aging janitor looked at him in disbelief.

"Oh thank god!" Jack gasped and acknowledged the janitor. He was up the stairs in a flash, racing up the countless steps towards the locker room. He burst in through the door and grabbed his bag from his locker, praying that he wasn't too late for the auditions.

The drama class and theater were on the other side of the school and he cursed. He raced through the halls, still in his gym uniform and past the now empty classrooms. His feet began to ache and so did his thighs; but he pressed on steadily. Finally he came before the theater, and opened the door.

"Sorry... auditions are over." The voice came from a desk below the stage. Jack recognized his teacher, who was leaning over a stack of papers.

"Ms. Coopman... " Jack managed, breathlessly and closed in on his teacher. She looked at him from behind her glasses.

"Jack. You are too late." She said curtly and sorted through a couple of papers. 

"I know I am, but-"

"Im sorry Jack." said Ms. Coopman sternly and returned to her work.

``````````

"Jack. These things are more complicated than you think." Frank said sadly.

"I know. Disease is complicated, but why is this happening? Why can't we control it?"

"Jack-"

"Don't try to explain it to him Frankie, its hopeless." Noah entered the room and collected his newspaper. All three of them sat together in the living room of the apartment.

"I wish I had an answer for you Jackie, I really do. But this is something that all of us are having trouble understanding. You shouldn't worry about it too much. You should be having fun or something, instead of thinking about this disease."

Jack was quiet for a moment and said, "How do you get it? I mean, I know its through sex, but how does sex cause you to get it?"

Frank and Noah exchanged glances. Neither was too inclined about answering Jack's questions.

"Exchanging bodily fluids." Noah said smoothly, opening up the paper.

"Really?" Jack squinted in disbelief. 

"It includes blood." Noah continued, studying Jack from behind his newspaper. Frank gave up on the textbook in front of him and stood to leave.

"I need a drink. This topic has got me all depressed." The auburn haired boy said and left.

Jack watched him leave and felt just as depressed.

``````````

'What a shitty day.' Jack thought miserably and opened the door to his house. He walked into the living room and around to the dining room, surprised to find his mother at the table, with a far off look on her face.

"Mom?" 

Her eyes met his, and in an instant he knew. His father left. And Jack only had one thought.

'It figures.'

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_I missed the auditions today. I hope I can talk to Ms. Coopman tomorrow so she could give me at least a stage crew job. After talking to Noah and Frank for a while I started to understand HIV and AIDS a little more. But they don't know as much about it either. I guess that's why it makes people so angry and afraid, because they don't know anything about it._

_I hope I see Will this week. He isn't too busy. I mean he can't really do anything without me. And I can't do too much without him. I keep thinking about him. He's the only thing that makes me feel good, besides Madonna._

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	6. Chapter 6

I am SO sorry for the late update! Im not holding my fic hostage, I swear! I've just been under some stress, like most of you are, Im sure. You know, end of the year, finals, all that good stuff. So, Im sorry!

Note: To a 'Coral T,' who didn't leave an e-mail, I think I have all my facts in order. I refuse to apologize for anything distorted. If there are discrepancies you cannot cope with, I ask you to consider the fic AU, which means alternate universe/timeline. And another thing, I think Jack would be sad, because he's a person and people get sad. I don't think he's happy go lucky 24/7, especially during the painful experience of being a teenager. And I said it would be dark. And it will only get darker from here on in. Try to understand. Feel free to read and review again.

'''''''''''''''''

Someday My Prince Will Come

Chapter 6

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_Im starting to think, that if I close my eyes and wish hard enough, all of this crap will turn into gold. Its been like that lately. I've been doing nothing but wishing. Wishing that Will would feel more comfortable with himself. Wishing that my mother would stop acting so normal. Wishing that I could just go through a day of school without getting jumped. At least I have my play. I convinced Mrs. Coopman to let me work backstage with the costumes and makeup. I guess its better, I wouldn't have been able to pull off Prince Charming anyhow. And if our piano player is sick, I can fill in for him. Rehearsals begin next week, but I won't be needed until the dress rehearsals._

_So until then, Im bored and useless. I guess I can have fun other ways, manage to sneak into a bar with my fake ID or something.  
Will and I have been having a blast. He finally got the dancing down, but he's still working on his weight problem. And I got him a guy at a bar. I paid him actually. Hopefully Will can learn a lot from this little relationship. Poor boy._

'''''''''''''''''

The afternoon clouds hung in the sky, waiting on something that would not come. January was ending, and the winter was colder than ever. A stinging wind escorted Jack down the road towards his friend's house. In an never-ending state of nervousness, the young man turned to make sure no one had followed him.

Darting up the stairwell, Jack relaxed a bit. He felt safer in the company of his friend Frank. Hopefully he would be home.

Jack knocked and jumped back, as a bedraggled Noah answered the door, with a hard look on his face.

"Oh, uh is-" Jack started to ask.

"No. Go away." Noah said brusquely and started to close the door.

"Why?" Jack scowled.

"Im busy."

"With what?"

Just then a shorter man came from the room and embraced Noah from behind. His blue eyes met Jack's for a moment, and then he gave a haughty grin.

"Nothing you would know anything about." Noah smirked and closed the door.

Bright red with fury, Jack cursed and descended the stairs. 'I know plenty!' He huffed and recalled the recent brief escapade with a young man he met at a bar. It was the exact same bar that he'd gotten Will a date. A satisfied little feeling stirred in him as he remembered the happiness in Will's eyes as the man had said 'yes'. Jack's thoughts returned to his own date.

They had done some inappropriate things, but had not done anything drastic, thankfully. Jack smiled to himself. 'Im so bad!'

'''''flashback'''''

Jack watched Will from across the bar, simpering shamelessly. Although he had paid they guy to go out with Will, it was still gratifying to see the new spring of confidence in his formerly closeted friend. But he couldn't help but feel impatient and heartsick at the sight of Will getting to know someone.

Jack's eyes glazed over, and he let out a wistful sound. 'Will is so... nice. He's just so beautiful, and nice... I wonder if I should tell him... ' The teenager could feel himself heating up as he thought about it. If he did tell him, he risked losing a great friendship; probably the only real friendship he had established since... ever. 'If I don't tell him, I think I'll die.' He thought as a small pain clutched him. He continued to watch the college student.

Will laughed awkwardly as the man he was with placed a hand on his knee. He turned frantically, seeking Jack for guidance. As he caught the sight of his younger friend's gaze from across the bar, Will immediately relaxed. Jack's soft blue eyes held a subtle hint of approval and it comforted him.

Jack watched, his heart catching as Will smiled at him and nodded. 'It wouldn't be fair to him if I told him...'

Will let out a much more confident laugh. Jack dropped his look of sadness.

'I'll just wait a little longer... '

"Hey, what's a cute little thing like you doing all alone?" Uttered a rich voice from behind him. Jack turned and smiled at the man.

"Just waiting for someone."

Before he knew it, he was up against the wall of the restroom, having the most intense pair of lips he'd felt on him since his last boyfriend. And thought men crooned and snickered as they passed through. The older man merely smiled at Jack.

"Don't you think its raunchy to be doing this in a bathroom?" Jack whispered with a devious little smile.

"Yes." The man replied and resumed attacking Jack's neck with his mouth. The two managed five minutes of groping and fierce, wanton kissing; until Jack recognized the overzealous ambition in the man's eyes. He had to put an end to it before it was too late. And he was still uncertain with that disease floating around.

"You know how I said I was waiting for someone?" Jack asked, pulling away.

"Yea?"

"Well, sorry, but that person wasn't you." And he smiled, because he knew what he was waiting for.

'''''end fb'''''

Jack flopped onto his bed, heaved a sigh and absently began fingering a moderately large bruise on his side. He had been in gym class, and was cornered by James again. 'I should learn to close my mouth once and a while.' Jack smirked ironically and thought of what he'd said.

"What was it?" Jack asked himself. "Oh yea; 'You're all so tacky, I could care less about what you say'" And he was thrown against the rail that lead up the stairs to the boys' locker room. The pain was dull but hardly severe.

Jack wandered over to his desk pulling out his journal and logging in. He jotted down the date, and then blanked out.

A bad thought entered his mind. 'Will it be like this forever? Will the heteros always tell me I have this disease and then push me over a fence and into a trash-can?' He was scribbling. 'Or will those angry closeted freaks keep blaming me, and telling me Im wrong?'

He was always a good writer when he was upset. The words came naturally as if all the emotions inside him were taking form on the paper. Jack's pencil moved across the lines. Sentence after sentence, his frustration fueled him, and he finished; gazing down at the page, Jack felt lonely.

'Will... Will it always be like this?' He asked himself. 'Or should I wait?'

'''''''''''

Jack barred his teeth in anger as the principal scolded him.

"It wasn't my fault! He's the one who-"

"Mr. McFarland, you don't expect me to believe that James did this to you, a third time. He would not risk his basketball scholarship, just to prove a point of his to you. Honestly, Im starting to think that _you_ are causing all this... "

"Mr. Antonopolous," Jack could barely protest as his swollen lip began throbbing.

The school official eyed him warily, fully aware of his student's situation. And he was fully aware of the danger he posed.

"Jack." The principal said, finally using Jack's first name. "You need to speak to the school counselor. Im making it mandatory. I cannot have you disrupting the order in this school anymore." His mouth went grim and he drew his eyebrows together. "Is that clear?"

"Yes sir." Jack grumbled before exiting the office. He walked past his reflection in the windows and glass of classroom doors, and he screamed inside. His shirt was completely ruined; torn beyond repair, and his hair looked awful. Jack stalked past the theater and glared at his gym teacher.

"I was in Mr. An-"

"Already know. The bell's gonna ring McFarland. You best run the mile now or you'll have to make it up along with an extra mile tomorrow."

Jack rolled his eyes and hurried into his gym clothes. He actually needed a run, to shake off the judgements and sentiments of his conspiring teachers.

'They're all against me.' he thought about his peers and his superiors, and he despaired as he remembered the way his english teacher had purposefully singled him out, to humiliate him.

"Mr. McFarland, please tell us in your own words what Beowulf truly wanted when he entered his last battle, and do you think this was important in the emphasis of the theme?" she had asked, an evil glee dancing about in her eyes.

"Uh, I-" Jack had been paralyzed. He could barely manage memorization, much less critical thinking. All eyes had been on him, waiting and anticipating what he would answer with. "Beowulf , uh, he wanted to fight for a last time and-" His throat went dry.

Their eyes. All probing, all evil, all wanting to see him go down. And his instructor; the most eager to see him fail, the most complacent with his incompetence. He hated her.

Jack finished his mile, with an angry bruise and an aching jaw.

''''''''''''

He ran into James again, taking in that smug countenance with all the patience he could muster.

"You got nothing, fag. You can't do anything but shut up and take what you deserve."

Jack could only glare as the bell rang.

''''''''''''

Jack was walking down the hall towards the exit, amid the pelting crowd. He was just about to make his escape when:

"Jack McFarland, please report to the Nurse's office." The voice boomed over the speaker, and Jack groaned.

"What now?"

He turned and began to make his way back towards the administration section of the school. Moving against the students streaming from the building, Jack suddenly felt nervous.

"What could the nurse want with me?" He fretted and began gnawing at his lip.

'''''''''

I know I know. Pretty much nothing in this chap. I just wanted to show you that Im still alive. But this chapter is meaningful to me so, please review. I am very grateful for all your reviews so far. Im not trying to keep you from the fic, Im just very slow, and I apologize once again.

I promise I will come out with at least 2 more chaps this week. Once again, thank you all! Kisses!


	7. Chapter 7

This chap is a little graphic. Kinda heavy PG13 or R. Just telling you.

''''''''''''''''''''

Someday My Prince Will Come

Chapter 7

''''''''''''''''''''

The room was cold. His arms were beginning to form goosebumps from just sitting and waiting there.

'Why do they call me in, and then make me wait? What if Will calls or something?' Jack fretted and leaned over from his seat to look into the nurse's office. The receptionist smiled and motioned for him to enter.

"Hello Jack."

"Hi Ms. Gongora." Jack replied, smiling at the kind secretary. She was the only person he really liked and trusted in the school. During some lunches, when the roof was closed off, Jack would sit and eat with her, just talking about fashion or other things.

"The nurse is talking with a medical official from a hospital in the city." The slightly young woman said, lifting her eyebrows as if it were a secret. "But she'll be out right now."

As soon as she said that, the nurse's door opened and a short, blonde woman emerged behind a tall middle aged man, with a stern grimace. They both looked at Jack and then at each other.

"Jack," The nurse began, with a cautious gesture to the man beside her. "This is Dr. Williams. We will need to speak to you inside my office. Come on in."

Jack swallowed hard as he walked into the spacious billet, sensing something foreboding about the whole situation. The man sat down behind the desk and opened up a folder already situated there. For a short while they were in silence, as the man sorted through papers. Jack began to grow sleepy in the heavily air conditioned room, and he glanced at the nurse, who stood by with a troubled look on her face.

"This one is what?" The man asked, his nasal voice cutting the silence like a dull blade.

"An eleventh grader." The nurse responded, looking briefly at Jack and then back at the doctor.

"Immunization card?"

"Right here." The nurse said briskly and pointed to a yellow paper in the back of the folder.

"How many years has he been here?"

"Two."

"Where are the records for ninth grade year?"

"He went to a Catholic school that year. I don't recall the name, but they should have the records."

"Doesn't matter, these are sufficient."

"What is this? What is this about?" Jack demanded, finally losing patience. The man looked at him, mouth turning down with disapproval.

"Jack," The nurse started and sat down in another chair beside the desk. "There are growing... concerns about-, well with everything going on- and health being such a priority, we just-"

"Mr. McFarland." The man interrupted, apparently annoyed with the school nurse. "Under the circumstances, with the AIDS virus and other health concerns, we are required to ask you some questions."

"Why?" Jack shrieked, a sick fear augmenting inside him.

"Well, due to your... sexuality, Im afraid its required. This is an epidemic we're facing here. You just need to answer a few questions." said the nurse.

"I don't want to!" Jack began to panic.

"Its not a matter of choice young man." The man's voice was muffled somehow. His heart was racing faster than ever, and his palms turned to ice. Their eyes were suddenly far away, their faces blurred; he was lost in his horror.

They took his silence for compliance and pulled out another set of papers. At first the nurse was sitting near him, but she soon rolled her chair over to the other side of the desk. He laced his fingers together and braced himself.

"How old are you?"

"Sixteen." Jack breathed. 'Easy one.'

"How long have you engaged in homosexual activity?"

"Excuse me?" Jack didn't understand.

"How long since you chose to be a homosexual?"

Jack frowned to himself and shook his head. "I don't understand. I didn't _choose_, its who I-"

"How long have you been a homosexual?" The man asked, already irate.

"Sixteen years." Jack said wanting to smile. The man looked up at him skeptically and didn't look satisfied. But he whispered with the nurse shortly.

"How many sexual partners have you had?" He asked bluntly. Jack froze, as if he'd been hit in the face. His mouth opened a bit, and then shut again. He hadn't had a steady boyfriend in a while. But all they did was kiss and some other things.

'Do they count as sex?' Jack asked himself, growing frightened. What did count as sex? He recalled kissing and getting half undressed on one occasion, and he recalled many times when he and his boyfriends would touch each other inappropriately. But he was still baffled.

"Mr. McFarland?"

"I don't know, I mean, I-"

"He's probably had too many to count." The nurse said and shook her head.

"Most likely." concurred the doctor.

"No!" Jack argued, slightly rising from his chair. "I haven't had sex! At least, I don't think so... " He ran a hand through his hair and groaned. "... oh I just don't know!"

"Jack, when was the last time you had... sex, with a man?" The blonde lady asked, her eyebrows drawing together.

"I don't know... "

"Full penetration?" The doctor offered stiffly, letting the words out as if they were bitter old pieces of food.

"What's that?"

"Penetration. Sodomy."

"No. No." Jack said in disbelief and recalled how he had first learned of the manner in which men made love. It was so distinctly different from the heterosexual way, he knew this much. And yet he always considered it a beautiful and enticing act. One he wanted to commit as soon as he found someone he cared about...

Were those words this doctor was using really how everyone saw it? 'Sodomy.' The word itself was pretty, and yet you couldn't help but hate it.

'What did Noah say?'

"Its what you have to know about, to tell about. One can't describe it to someone who hasn't felt it."

He'd never felt it. But here he was being told to verify something he'd never done.

"No." He said to them again. "No. I haven't done... that."

They turned to each other again speaking softly, and critically. Jack felt sick. They continued their prying the next fifteen minutes, presenting him with questions about bathhouses, drug use, and even lubricant. They described what gay sex was, since he apparently hadn't fully completed the process... and they defiled the image Jack had of the act. They spoke lowly of it, lips turning up in disgust every other minute. They filled it with crude scientific terms; cold facts of lacerations and sores that were the result of that form of sex.

"Very dangerous. Easiest way to catch the virus."

"Its not biologically the way things are supposed to happen."

When they were finally done, Jack sat up straight, fully numbed to his center. They discussed their notes and decided.

"We will need to take a blood test Jack." The nurse said, surprisingly gentle. "Just to be on the safe side."

"The safe side." Jack repeated in a hushed voice.

'There is no safe side anymore.' He thought and refused to cry.

'''''''''''''''''

"Would you like to go back sweetie?"

"No. It felt like prison there. Although I _did_ like to see my bullies get paddled when they were caught!" Jack smiled to himself. His mother took one look at his swollen lip and was determined to send Jack back to the private Catholic school he'd attended before. But the boy insisted on the public school, saying he needed to stay the course and finish up.

"Why did they gang up on you Jack?" His mother asked. Jack looked out the window.

"They're jealous."

'''''''''''''

"We're going this weekend!" Jack chirped, and sprawled himself on Frank's sofa. Noah sat some distance away, thumbing through a magazine.

"You and the closet freak?"

"He's not a closet freak!" Jack defended his friend and turned his head to glare at the blonde in the recliner. "Not anymore at least."

"Please!" Noah laughed dryly. "He still acts like a closet case, walking around all stiff and nervous all the time!"

"He's not like that when Im around." Jack said proudly.

"Don't give yourself too much credit, kid. Next to you, he could act as gay as he wanted and no one would notice."

"Hey!" Jack sighed in irritation and lay his head back on the sofa. "I don't care what you say. He had a boyfriend for a little while, I think he's already well on his way!"

"Do you know where he's taking you?"

"Nope. But he said its upstate somewhere. We're going on a road trip." Jack sighed dreamily. "He's so great."

"Why is he taking you anyway?"

"I don't know, he just said it would be fun, our first adventure as best friends!"

"Probably saw that shiner there." Noah said thoughtfully.

"I thought I covered that up!" Jack whined and pulled out his makeup. He looked into the mirror and applied it around his eye until the discoloration was concealed. It was another gift from James and his friends... 'I hate those kinds of closet cases!' Jack fumed but smiled at his reflection. Noah looked deep in contemplation.

"So when are you going to tell the closet freak that you like him?"

"Oh! How dare you!" Jack cried, and feigned mortification. "He has a name you know. Its Will."

"So?"

"I don't know. Maybe when Im sure I like him. I mean Im not even sure." His eyes drifted over Noah for a moment. 'He said I wasn't mature enough. When I am mature, I know he'll tell me that Will would like me too!'

"Maybe when I get my braces removed."

'''''''''''''

_This weekend Will is taking me upstate somewhere. He said it would be just a nice little trip for two best friends to enjoy. Noah says its cause he feels sorry for me. But I see it as something else. No matter what anyone says, Will is getting braver and stronger. I see it all the time. His only problem is that his fear gets the best of him and he only sees the bad things of a situation. Hopefully this trip will make him feel better._

_Supposedly the trip is for me, for what I don't know why. But I feel special so I'll just play my role and enjoy it. It'll be great to get out of this place for a little while._

''''''''''''''

sorry if it was too talky. Chap 8 coming Friday night or Sat morning!


	8. Chapter 8

This chap is a little talky. Just wanted to take a break from all the bad stuff.

''''''''''''

Someday My Prince Will Come

Chapter 8

'''''''''''''

They rode through the placid hills of upstate New York, taking in the remarkably blue skies. Of the two, Will was the most visibly frivolous, constantly voicing his excitement about getting away from the city on their three day weekend.

"This is going to be so much fun!" Will promised Jack as they turned into a gas station.

"Where are we going anyway?" Jack uttered, eyes alight in wonder. He watched his friend exit the car to fill the tank.

"Okay," Will said after he finished up and paid the cashier. "Let's go."

"Where are we going?"

"You'll see."

"Will! You said the same thing at New City! Im getting very impatient!" He exclaimed.

"Well, we're going to Syracuse!" He said with such mirth on his face, that Jack felt bad when he scoffed aloud.

"Syracuse?" Jack said with a blank stare. "I brought my good shoes for Syracuse? What are we going to do there?"

"Well," Will began meekly, completely taken off guard by Jack's reaction. "We have to visit my grandfather whose in Albany. But he was gonna let us use his townhouse in Syracuse, so we'll go there ad get situated, eat dinner... and I thought we could go to Sylvan Beach the next day."

"Sylvan what?"

"Sylvan Beach. Its an amusement park."

"We coulda just went to Coney Island or something!"

"My grandfather doesn't live on Coney Island, Jack." Will muttered, growing irritated.

"Fine." Jack huffed and turned to the window.

"I thought you would have liked this trip."

"I do like this trip, its just that... "

"What?"

"You have to learn something else Will, we as a people don't travel for two hundred miles to visit old men or amusement parks."

"Note taken." Will smirked. "You'll see Jack its gonna be great!"

''''''''

After leaving Albany, the two stopped for lunch in Scotia, admiring the stark contrast of the place to the busy city they had just visited. Jack was in a lighter mood, growing more and more fond of the road trip.

"So what should we have?" Will thought aloud and scanned the menu. Jack snatched it away and looked it over.

"Nope. Nope. Nope. Hm... nope"

"Ack! Will you pick something?"

"Patience Will. Everything takes time, especially something that determines the fate of your hips!"

"Nothings wrong with my hips!" Will argued and self consciously gazed down at himself.

"Oh Will. Denial is _so_ for closeted guys!" Jack chided and gave up. "Fine. You pick what you wanna eat. I'll just have the fruit salad and a smoothie!"

"Nice combination." Will droned sarcastically and turned to the waitress. "Miss, we'll have the fruit salad, a smoothie, a coke (hold the ice) and a chicken sandwich."

"Ok." The girl walked off. Jack observed the town and traffic, and sighed. 'Its so nice to see this place. I wonder if there are any good shops around!'

Will watched his friend with a mix of amusement and concern. He was always nervous somehow; always fretting over himself, over his friends, over Jack. And his younger companion had been having a hard time at school from what Will had noticed. But of course, the impudent little thing would deny anything and everything about having problems with his school or with people. And he would turn it around with something lame and desperate like:

"What's with the hair Will, get into a fight with a blow-drier and lose?"

It was apparent to Will, that the hidden anger and fear in Jack's eyes were the result of something that he would not talk about.

"Where are those scrapes from Jack?" Will asked suddenly. The happy face turned quickly into one of trepidation.

"What? Oh. From gym class. Shouldn't play baseball with straight guys!" Jack laughed and pensively began to touch the healed scratches.

Their food arrived, and they both sighed in unison. "What did you talk about with your grandfather?" Jack said hurriedly, trying to change the subject, but deciding he wanted to know since he was asleep in the car the entire time they were in Albany.

"Just about the townhouse, and he gave me the keys. It turns out my grandmother will be in Syracuse when we go, so we won't really have the place to ourselves, not that it matters." Will said lightly as he bit into his sandwich.

"Oh." Jack sighed, trying to quell the feeling of disappointment. 'Why be disappointed? Its not as if anything is going to happen!' He berated himself and cast a furtive glance at Will. 'Oh but I wish something _would_.'

"We should reach our destination at sunset."

''''''''''

"Are there any gay bars around here?" Jack asked, a not too hopeful look on his face. The car entered the city, passed the downtown area and sped away towards a secluded hill.

"I highly doubt it Jack." Will sighed. "Come on we can have fun other ways!"

Jack grumbled to himself, displeased. With this new confidence, Will was much more assertive. How had he gotten convinced to go on this trip? He could be teaching Will something, or out dancing with someone. 'Just have fun, you party pooper!' Jack told himself. 'Hell, you _are_ the party!' And he smiled, because he knew this to be true.

Will frowned in concentration and glanced at the signs on the side of the road. Jack was mildly impressed with his friend's sense of direction and watched the scenery pour past them as they rounded a cluster of forest, and drove onto a dirt road. More trees streamed by, and Jack watched as the town became smaller behind them.

The car climbed the hill. As soon as they cleared the trees, a charming house could be seen sitting elevated and overlooking a lake.

"How cute!" Jack squealed so abruptly that Will stomped on the brake. "Wow! Will, this is such a nice little place."

"I know." Will grinned proudly and they pulled up in front of the structure. They exited the vehicle and looked up at it. Will nodded and then moved to the trunk to pull out their things.

Will's grandmother was not inside, so the two just went in to change and get ready for dinner.

"Will. What lake is that?" Jack asked as he dried his hair, still wet from the shower he took.

"Oneida Lake I think."

"Its so big! Its like looking at a sea."

"I know. Come on, you ready?"

"Sure am!" Jack smiled and felt his heart flutter as Will took his hand.

''''''''

"There are plenty of things to do when you're bored in a town like this." Jack amended, for dismissing the small town earlier. "I'd probably find a way to not get so bored."

"Find a way to what?" Will asked, noticing that he was not listening to Jack at all. Jack shook his head and finished his juice.

They sat in a quaint restaurant that faced the dark green hillsides of the east. In the moonlight, everything looked so eerie but peaceful. Will decided he was succeeding in appeasing the nervousness inside him. Ever since he came out, he was told that everything would be great. By Jack at least. But how did he know? He was only sixteen.

"Soon to be seventeen!" Jack reminded him once, a little while ago.

And to add to this fear, was the growing attachment he felt to the high school student. It was something so strong, that it terrified him. If anything, Will felt an obligation to be Jack's friend. (After all the young man did not have to help him unveil his sexuality.) But somehow he felt something more, like a need to guard him and be with him. It was an odd feeling he was having difficulty suppressing. He sighed and chewed on a peanut.

"What did I tell you about those!" Jack scolded and smacked the peanut bowl away from Will's reach.

'''''''''''

They returned to the townhouse later that night, after an hour of looking around the town at the shops. Exhausted from the six hour road trip and the dinner combined, the two went inside to an empty house.

Will frowned slightly and went into the kitchen. On the counter sat a note.

_Will _

_I went to spend the night at B's in Utica. I will be back tomorrow night. _

_Grandma_

Will frowned down at the paper. It was very short, and unlike the grandmother he knew. He disregarded it for the moment and decided to join his friend in the top bedroom.

Most of the rooms in the house were assigned to something. The one they were to sleep in was moderately large with a pair of twin beds, fashioned to look like a fancy hotel.

As Will went in, he noticed Jack was already asleep.

''''''''''''''

Sorry, if it was too dull for you. I'll be giving you a triple whammy, cause Im already on the ninth chapter. I know! Im done with finals so Im kinda on the whole fic thing woohoo!

Sincere criticism or suggestions would be fine. Love you all. I promise the story will get more interesting. A shout out to my sister Jacquelyn!


	9. Chapter 9

''''''

Someday My Prince Will Come

Chapter 9

''''''

After a pleasant breakfast, Will and Jack made their way to Sylvan Beach, which lied several miles outside of town. Jack could hardly remember the last time he'd been to an amusement park, and he was sure he'd never been on a roller-coaster.

"There aren't only roller coasters there Jack. And I promise I won't force you to go on one." said Will, and they rounded a bend in the road.

"Promise?"

"Promise." Will assured him. "Besides, I can't stand roller-coasters."

"Good." Jack said, not catching the devious smile on Will's face. "I have never gone on one and I don't plan to. Too scary!"

As they continued on the road, the morning clouds showed signs of clearing. Jack inspected his fingernails, wondering if he should be ecstatic over the day ahead. His companion seemed pretty excited.

"Why do you like this place Will?" Jack asked absently, gazing out at the open skies and lush green hills. Such a difference from the rigid and looming buildings of the city. His friend shrugged.

"My father used to let my brothers and I stay here with my grandfather over some summers." Will said as they spied the lake in the distance.

"Ah."

"Didn't you ever have a place like this? Somewhere you always wanted to return to?"

"Not really." And Jack grew quiet, growing jealous of Will's special place. "You seem to have a great family."

"Yea." Will grinned a little.

'''''''

The two friends came upon the park; one was glowing in happiness, the other in wonder. Such a simple little place it was, right on the lakefront. Jack tilted his head at the structures that lied just beyond the gates.

"Seems like a simple carnival to me." Jack thought aloud.

"Jack!" Will shook his head. "Its more than that. This place has history. It has meaning!"

"Yea, yea." Jack took out a mirror and toyed with his hair for a bit. Just then, Will looked nervous.

"Uh Jack, while we're here, could you maybe... uh, not be so, you know."

"No I don't know." Jack said in a high voice and stuffed his mirror in his pocket. Will began wringing his hands.

"Just try and be a little low-key. These are different people."

"Im not promising anything." Jack sighed.

Will walked up to the ticket purchasing booth and bought several dozen. He shoved them into his coat pocket and gestured for Jack to follow him through the front gate.

"And those?" pointed Jack.

"For each ride." said Will. "Like a... "

"Carnival?" Jack lifted a brow. "Hm."

Once inside, Will discarded his nervousness and took in the rich feeling of the park. It was quaint and had an old-time feeling lingering about. Already there was a small cluster of people in the park, waiting on each ride and attraction. Will smiled; 'nothing's changed much.'

Will lead Jack into the park, glancing around as if he was searching for something. Jack raised an eyebrow at Will.

"Where are the shops?" he asked, looking around. "Don't theme parks have shops?"

"Is shopping all you can think about?" sighed the older one. "There are only a couple of them. And they're next to the lake, where the water rides are."

"water rides?" asked Jack, apprehensively.

"Don't worry. Its not warm enough to go on one... right now."

"Ugh. I hope we don't go on one at all!" Jack huffed and followed Will onto a promenade.

"Jack! What _will_ you go on? Im starting to think you're scared of rides!"

"Im not scared. They just- mess up my hair!" Jack looked away as Will started laughing.

"You are a real mystery." said the college student, eyes alight in amusement.

"What do you mean?"

"You are the bravest person I know. And yet you're scared of little rides!" Will exclaimed and began walking to the bumper cars.

"Im not scared!" Jack bristled, but he softened when he thought about what his friend had said. 'The bravest huh?' And he realized he was beaming with pride.

"We'll start out small." Said Will as he got in line for the bumper cars.

"I've been on these before." Jack said and stood behind his friend. Soon they were in front of the employee who operated the cars, handing him their tickets. Will read the rules for the ride as they waited.

"Hey, it says all kids must ride with an adult. Hm, I guess you're with me Jack!" joked Will and winced as his friend slapped him on the arm.

"Call me a kid again and you'll get one in the face!" he warned and ignored the glare Will gave him. Jack walked onto the platform where the little cars were situated. He looked around at the colors and grimaced. "Dreadful."

"Just pick one." Will said from a distance, while getting into a red one. Pondering over light blue or white, Jack picked the latter. He climbed in, making a strange face as he sat down. The little cars were rather new, but tacky in Jack's mind.

They waited until everyone got in their cars. Once the employee activated the electricity, everyone was off. Jack struggled with his steering wheel, but managed to get it going. As soon as he was moving, he noticed Will, driving smoothly, avoiding all other cars. 'Just like him to do that!' Jack smirked and bumped into his friend.

"Hey!" Protested Will and Jack rammed into his car again. "Stop that!"

"What are bumper cars for Will? Not for being law-abiding drivers!" Jack hollered as he drove off. He began having lots of fun running into the cars of strangers, and then catching Will again.

It soon became critical that Jack avoid all the other cars, in order to keep a distance from his vengeful friend. Will was trying to catch up, determination on his face. Laughing with excitement, Jack whirled his car around and ran straight into Will. They both lurched forward in their seats. Will held fast to the wheel and gawked at his friend. Then the electricity was turned off.

"Why would you crash yourself like that, just to hit me?"

"Kamikaze." Jack smirked and got out of his car. Will could only shake his head.

"Another rule! Never underestimate Jack behind the wheel." Said the teenager in third person.

Will nodded and said, "Remind me to never let you get a license." And the two left for the tilt-a-whirl.

The sooner they got off of the nightmare that was the tilt-a-whirl, the better! Jack had his eyes closed the whole time while Will had a blast. Jack practically flew from the seat when the ride was through.

"No. No more! Too twisty! Much too twisty!" Griped Jack.

"Oh come on! There's still a lot to do!" Will grabbed Jack by the arm and pulled him to the next ride.

It was all Will could do to not lose his patience. Jack was so impossible sometimes! He would need thorough convincing before boarding a ride.

Somehow he managed to get Jack on the Scrambler. This, the boy liked very much. Throwing his head back and laughing in merriment, Jack insisted they go again.

After that, they moseyed over to look at a classic carnival ride, where two identical cars let gravity take them around and around, in sickening circles. Jack got dizzy just by looking at the thing in operation.

"Nope! Not gonna!" And he crossed his arms, to emphasize his decision.

"Fine." Will said. "Im hungry anyway."

They strode down to a pavilion with their lunch, each thinking different things. It was always during a meal, when Will's mind ran rampant. The crisp breeze pulled at his thoughts, coaxing him to speak his mind.

"I like this."

"What was that?" Jack asked as he sat down on the grass. Will followed suit, and felt the tension he'd been harboring earlier come about.

"I like this place." He remedied, and pondered over what he had really meant.

"Oh." Jack nodded and bit into his pretzel. "No salt!" he had crooned when they were purchasing it, and he inspected Will's own choices.

They both looked down at the lake. Will could remember many times his brothers and he would run along the water's edge, racing to the bumper boats. It was a shame he could not have that kind of fun anymore. And he wondered if Jack still had that kind of fun, or if he ever thought about the innocent days. If he still had those innocent days.

"Im sorry Will." Jack said suddenly.

"Huh?" Knocked from his thoughts, Will took a drink of his juice and looked at his younger friend. "For what?"

"Im being no fun at all!" He complained, mostly to himself.

"Well, this just isn't your environment. That's all." Will explained. "I brought you here, 'cause I wanted to show you something special to me. And this place is very special."

"Hn." Jack bore inward.

"It may seem like a simple and worthless place, not too flashy, not too high-tech and famous... but if you really know it, and give it a chance, you grow to love it."

"I know this." Jack whispered. 'Because this place is just like you. Like you, this place seems dull and simple. But I gave you a chance, and now Im growing, to love you.'

"What?"

"I know this, because Im starting to like it a lot!" Jack smiled brightly.

"Good!" Will was radiant with pride. Jack marveled at how pleasant Will looked in this place; olive skin glowing, deep brown eyes piercing and a broad smile that put you at ease. And Jack was glad he had taken a chance on this person, that he had found such a great friend.

In the park there was a feeling of joy and peace. It was such a distance away from the dreaded Long Island sentiments, and Manhattan stoicism. Will felt glad for bringing his friend and sharing this place.

As they walked up towards the rides again, Will noticed the large wooden roller coaster off in the distance, and got an idea. Feeling around his coat pockets, he felt the bandana was still there. A wicked smile crossed his face.

'''''''''

"Where are you taking me?" Jack asked from behind the blindfold.

Will stifled a couple sounds of laughter and continued guiding his friend up the path towards the coaster. No one was in line for it, thankfully. The park was rather empty for the day. Everyone was by the water, enjoying the lake and attractions down by the water.

"Its a surprise." smirked Will.

"It had better not be the merry-go-round, Will! Those kid jokes are getting _really_ old!" Jack snapped, still in oblivion. His arms trembled as Will guided him up a walkway of some sort. He could hear the noises of the busy end of the park, the people, the rides. All he could smell was Will's pleasant scent around him, as he was pushed forward some more steps.

Finally they came to a halt. Jack groaned in impatience as he felt Will disappear.

"Will?" Jack asked and moved to remove his blindfold. But Will appeared again and stopped him.

"No, no! Im just giving the guy our tickets!" Will came around and placed his hands on Jack's shoulders. He laughed as Jack moved around, clumsy in his helplessness. "Move this way."

Will brought Jack onto the platform where they were to board the enormous coaster. He pushed him gently to where the carts were and helped him get inside.

Still with the blindfold, Jack felt himself being told to sit down. So he sat and sensed Will sitting down beside him. Then he felt a cold bar come down in front of him, clicking and locking into place.

"Will? Where are we? Can I take it off now?" Jack asked, and jumped as Will snatched the bandana from around his eyes. As soon as he regained his vision, they were moving. Jack recognized the tracks and gasped.

"Will! Let me off right now!" Jack shrieked, pulling hopelessly at the bar over his lap.

"Too late Jack! We're already moving." Will said and grinned as the cart began to climb the first peak, making that dreadful, loud clicking noise.

"No! No! I want to get off right now!" the younger one screeched and began to pull at the bar again, but with more vigor. He began to panic as he saw the people below get smaller and smaller. "Help me!" He screamed at them and began to wail. 'Im gonna die!'

_Click-click-click..._

"Jack, its gonna be fun! You just gotta get over this fear. Its gonna be a blast!" Will gave a smile and placed his hands on the bar, anticipating the first drop.

_Click-click-click..._

"I will never forgive you for this!" Jack screamed, looking to the sky, and then to the ground far below for help. His heart was racing, and his legs started trembling.

_Click-click-click..._

"Oh my god!" Jack breathed in and out, and clutched the bar in front of him. "We're so high!" He made a pathetic sound as they neared the very top. And the last clicks of doom were heard:

_Click-click-click-....click._

And down they went.

"Aaaaaahhhh!!!" Jack could feel the air being taken from his lungs as they plunged down to the earth. It was the most frightening feeling ever, and he felt his palms sweat as he held on tighter to the bar. Then they climbed another hill, and dropped down again.

"Put your hands up!" Will hollered just before they fell from the third hill.

"Fuck you!" Jack screamed back, holding tighter to the bar and closing his eyes. They were going so fast, up and down and around. The exhilaration was merciless and he held his breath as the tingling sensation in his chest began to augment. He clenched his eyes even tighter as they ascended the tallest peak in the whole ride.

"Put your hands up, Jack!" Will yelled again, a happy smile on his face. Jack almost considered this, but found he couldn't do it. He was just too scared. He felt if he let go, he would fly out and fall to the ground. And they fell one last time, gravity paining them as they came up and back to the boarding platform.

''''''''''

"Jack. Come on. Why aren't you talking to me?"

Jack continued his fast walk, and distanced himself further from Will. He crossed his arms and kept the frown firm on his face.

"Jack! Speak to me." Will pleaded, secretly wanting to laugh for some reason. Seeing Jack squealing on the roller-coaster was the highlight of the trip so far. Blindfolding his friend was very clever, Will thought. But he did feel bad for using such a means to get Jack on the ride. It was pretty cruel.

"Jack, you can't be mad at me the whole time!" Will chuckled, following Jack as he walked even faster. Eventually Jack tired and slowed to a normal pace. "You know you enjoyed it." Will smiled slyly.

"Ugh. You are so going to get it when we get back to the city!" Jack huffed, and crossed his arms.

"Aw Jack." Will laughed. "Im sorry. It was wrong of me to trick you like that."

"Damn right it was!" snapped the younger boy, and he stopped in his stride to cross his arms. Will didn't think his friend was too furious, so he glanced around and noticed the carnival games, and the cute prizes one could win.

"I'll make it up to you okay?"

"How?" Jack raised an eyebrow, very interested.

"I'll win you something." Will said confidently as they made their way to the first game.

"Really?" Jack brightened and watched as Will selected a game where he had to use a water gun to win prizes. After paying the worker the needed amount for a try, the college student picked up the water gun, and practiced aiming at a little red target. He would have to shoot the target long enough to make a bell on the side go off, and then he'd win.

Jack tilted his head and watched as his friend aimed, fired and missed. He tried again and missed. Perhaps shooting wasn't his thing. After losing with the water pistols, Will moved to a different game next to the shooting gallery. It involved tossing a ring and getting it around a bottle, among dozens.

Over and over he tossed, missing and missing, and gradually becoming frustrated. The young man tossed his last ring, and let out a huge sigh as he missed again. But he wouldn't give up! He walked over to another booth, where he had to throw a ball through a hole in the wall. Seemed easy.

Jack became hopeful. One ball. One target, and the prizes were adorable. He bit his lip. 'Come on Will... '

Will brought his arm back, paused, and then threw the ball. It soared through the air, gaining a lot of momentum. Jack held his breath and Will held his breath, until he remembered he couldn't throw. And the ball hit the employee on the leg.

Jack rolled his eyes and crossed his arms, becoming exasperated. 'He shouldn't have acted like he could win!'

"I should have known." Jack muttered. "No gay guy can throw a ball straight."

Will heard this and heaved a sigh. Just as he was about to surrender and move on to the rides again, he spied a little booth off to the side. He walked over there, with Jack in tow, and he looked the game. He would have to throw darts at balloons, and if he got three in a row of the same color, he'd win a prize.

"Three darts please." Will placed two dollar bills on the counter, and collected his darts.

"Will. You're not going to win. You can't throw for beans!" Jack whined, and stomped his foot in impatience. "Just give up. I forgive you okay? Lets just go somewhere else!"

"Which ones you going for, sir?" Asked the worker.

Will studied the little dart in his hand, and he looked up at the balloons. They had to be at least twelve feet away from the balloons. How could he hit one, much less three? 'Go for the bright ones. The yellow ones.' he told himself and readied his hand.

"Yellow." he said and propelled the dart.

Away went the dart, like a little rocket, speeding smoothly towards the wall. And in a miraculous instant, a 'pop!' was heard and Will gasped in surprise. He had hit a yellow balloon! Jack straightened in interest and watch Will throw another dart; again, hitting a yellow balloon.

'Will he get it the third time?' Jack thought.

_Pop_!

"Yes!" Will jumped up in his victory and laughed.

"Which prize will it be?" asked the man, looking at Will.

"Jack?" Will turned to his friend.

"The dog!" Jack uttered excitedly, and beamed as Will pointed it out on the wall. It was lowered and given to Jack. He smiled down at the large stuffed animal, a bit in awe that it was the result of Will's skill and determination.

"Wow!" Jack exclaimed and held the thing closer. "Its amazing you were able to win!"

"Well... " Will said modestly, and they moved back towards the rides.

'''''''''''

Blah. Its been forever since I've seen Sylvan Beach. So if I get my facts wrong about Syracuse and stuff, Im sorry for that! Facts about geography and location are supposed to be accurate, ne? So sorry for those!


	10. Chapter 10

''''''''''

Someday My Prince Will Come

Chapter 10

'''''''''''

"So where to next?" Jack smiled, adjusting the large prize under his arm. The afternoon sun had emerged from behind the clouds, and it was already very warm for a February day.

"I don't know. I'll let you choose." Will said, a distant look in his eyes. They treaded up a pathway, towards the classic carnival rides.

"Ferris Wheel." Jack said and looked up at the enormous structure, mouth agape. They both glanced at each other.

"Okay." shrugged Will, not really excited about it.

The ride was different from other ferris wheels. It was huge, and the little cars were circular, with little roofs; able to seat six people in one[1]. Jack and Will hopped into theirs, sighing in relief as no one followed them into their car. Jack bounced up and down on his seat.

"Yay! I can hardly remember being on one of these!" he exclaimed and placed his prize next to him.

"Lucky for you, it goes pretty slow." Will said, relaxing on his side of the car. The ride began to move and they were lifted into the sky. It took a while for them to reach the top, but they rounded once and started the cycle again.

Jack kept looking down and smiling at the people, waving frantically each time they descended and then ascended again.

"Stop that!" Will sighed and realized how much he hated ferris wheels. It was like getting no where, going in circles and always ending how you started. It was monotonous.

Will felt very weird. It was great to escape the city, and yet the worries were still there.

He looked at Jack and was reminded of the day he had gone over to his house, finding him in such a sad state. What had happened that day? What was happening now? Will had a pretty good idea. He wasn't an idiot. However, it irked him that this was happening at all. And he was reluctant to address it.

Suddenly the wheel came to a halt. Will peered over the side, and noticed the worker was having difficulties. This had happened another time before, when he was in high school. Will remembered and relaxed.

"what's going on? Why aren't we moving?" Jack asked nervously and shifted on his side of the cart.

"Nothing. Just a delay. This thing is old. Don't worry about it." Will frowned.

As Jack spun around to the other side of the cart, Will caught a glimpse of some scrapes on his arms. They weren't severe, but disturbing nonetheless.  
Jack moved again and a compact fell from his pocket. Collecting it from the ground, Will tilted his head.

"Jack."

"Yea?"

"Why are you always covering up your face with this stuff?" Will asked, much too suspiciously for Jack's taste.

"What?"

"You told me, this kind of stuff messes up your skin."

"It does, I just... need it."

"Why?"

"No reason." Jack shrugged. "Why do I have to have a reason for you? If anyone needs it, its you."

"Well, then why are _you_ the one using it?"

"Because! Its none of your business. Every guy needs a little touch up here and there!" Jack panicked and snatched the piece of cosmetic from his friend.

"You don't need it Jack." Will frowned. "Unless you're trying to hide something."

"Screw you! I don't have anything to hide!" huffed Jack and looked down at the people below.

"Then you have no problem if I do _this_." Ever so gracefully, Will snatched the item from Jack's hands and tossed it off of the side of the cart. Jack watched in horror as the compact plummeted, and landed in a cluster of swaths and bushes beside the ride.

"You fucking jerk! That shit costs money! Oh my god!" Jack shrieked, still gawking at the bushes below, as if his belonging would fly up and back into his hands.

"Jack..."

"You jerk!" Jack screamed again and began to pull at his hair. Will's eyes went wide at this reaction. And he frowned at the sudden look of fear on his friend's face.

"Jack, what the hell is wrong?" he asked. "Why do you need it so much?"

"Oh my god!" the younger one began whimpering. "I hate you! I hate you!"

"Jeez, Jack. Calm down." Will grew frightened.

"I hate you!" Jack shouted and wiped vigorously at his face with the back of his hand. When he was through, Will took one look at him and regretted what he'd done.

"...who... who gave that to you...? " Will breathed out at the sight of the black eye his friend revealed.

"There, you fucking jerk!" Jack hissed. "There!" And he couldn't hold up strong, any longer. He crumpled in his seat, burying his face into his sleeves.

Will felt his heart wrench mercilessly in his chest. This was just wrong. This wasn't supposed to happen to someone like Jack, who Will considered invincible in the face of ridicule. But there he was, ashamed and hurt and crying before him.

It was the first time Will had seen Jack cry. And it made him feel ashamed, for provoking him. He leaned forward to embrace him.

"Jack, come on." Will felt very awkward, as he attempted to soothe his friend. "What is it? Is it school?"

Jack nodded into his friend's shoulder, keeping his sounds as low as possible. The shame was unbearable. He hated crying in front of people like this. It was the first time he'd surrendered to his tears since that evening when it all began.

"Tell me about it."

"I can't. Its all so stupid!" He hiccuped and let out a frustrated sound. "So stupid. They're all so stupid!"

The repetition was foreboding, and Will wanted the ride to start up again and finish, so they could figure things out in a better place. Sure enough, a small tremor took the cart and they began to descend.

''''''

Jack was furious with himself as they got off the ride. He let out an angry sound and wiped his face a couple more times. They walked a short distance from the ferris wheel, over to the bushes where Will had thrown his compact.

Jack waited with his arms crossed, as Will searched for it. He brought his hand to his face, and felt the smoothness around his eye. It was strange, he couldn't feel it, only see it. It didn't hurt, but it ruined everything still. It had ruined the whole trip.

When Will returned with the item in his hand, Jack took it and looked down at it. 'What now?' he asked himself.

"Come on, we still haven't gone on the bumper boats." Will said, with forced cheerfulness. Jack gave him an impassive stare but followed anyway.

'''''''

After the bumper boats, Will took Jack to an isolated area, where a grip of trees and flowers separated them from the park. They watched the lake from their spot.

"It happened to me too." Will blurted.

"I know." Jack smiled sadly. "And you weren't even out yet. Its much worse that way, I guess."

"What do you mean?"

"To be punished, when you don't even know why." he said dismally, eyes dulling in thought. "Its like they knew before you did. They always know before you do."

Will was stunned at the sadness in his friends words. And it was accompanied by something else, was it, bitterness?

"They know, but they don't understand." Will offered.

"You don't understand it either."

"Not yet, but I will." Will smiled. And Jack smiled too.

''''''''

The day was coming to a close, and Will sighed with content. The sun was falling, and it made the lake look beautiful with the golden and pink hues of sunset.

"Oh god!" Jack complained as they walked out of the park. He made Will carry his stuffed animal prize, and was now working on his cotton candy. "Im going to need some real crunches to work this baby off!"

"Jack, its just cotton candy!" Will sighed and searched for the car. He pulled out his keys.

"Yea, but one day you ignore a cotton candy, then the next you ignore a cheeseburger, and pretty soon you're on a couch with a box of donuts, waiting for your plus size suit to be done at the cleaners!"

"You have no idea what you're talking about do you?"

They had a mildly smooth drive home. Jack's pleasant mood returned, and he switched on the radio.

"Ooh! I love this song! 'Gonna dress you up in my love! All over, all over!'"

Will smiled and sang along with Jack and Madonna. The road was dark as the evening sky fell around them. Soon they were laughing together, at spontaneous jokes, or little stories they had to share. They drove into Syracuse, and criticized what people in town were wearing.

"Shut up. You used to dress like that." Jack snickered as Will poked fun at a man's outfit.

"Thank god I had a little fairy godmother to knock some sense into me!"

"Damn straight!"

"Well... not really." Will smiled wickedly.

Jack was laughing so hard, he could barely find his lungs. All the puns were truly exhausting his funny bone. And he sighed in happiness. That he could find such jokes comforting really confused him.

Will refilled the tank in the car and they made their way to the townhouse. The roads were blackened, and Will had trouble adjusting his eyes in the dark. All that could be seen was the little yellow pathways the headlights formed ahead. But they managed to reach the house without too much problem.

"Ouch! Ouch!" Jack groused as they walked up the path to the house.

"What is it?" Will whispered, pulling out the keys.

"My feet. All that walking was bad. Im so gonna give myself a pedi when I get home." He looked down at his feet in concern.

Will opened the door, and they walked through. "Grandma?" He asked the house. Pretty soon, a woman came walking down the stairs, with a cautious look on her face. She was looked strong and healthy for her age, standing upright at the foot of the stairs.

"Will?" she said, walking towards the door.

"Hi Grandma." Will smiled. "This is my friend Jack." He said gesturing to Jack.

"Hi, nice to meet you." Jack said cheerfully, holding out his hand. The lady gave a half-smile and shook Jack's hand. They were in an awkward silence for a little while.

"Uh, Jack, why don't you get washed up for dinner?" Will suggested. Jack frowned in confusion, but obeyed and walked up to the bathroom.

"So where have you two been all day?" The woman asked, moving to the kitchen to check on the food. She knew her grandson would be hungry when he returned.

"We went to the park by the lake." said the young man, casually sitting down in front of the counter. His grandmother was pretty quiet, her mouth turned down in a grimace.

"Grandma? What's wrong?"

"Nothing." She said sternly. "I haven't seen you since... "

"Christmas, I know." Will said in realization. Was his grandmother still uncomfortable with it all? Her eyes were cast downward, and away from his stare.

Jack came hopping down the stairs, a bright smile on his face. He sat down beside Will, and leaned over the counter.

"Dinner is almost ready." And she began to serve some drinks.

Throughout the entire dinner they were nervous, not saying anything really. Jack would try to start a conversation, but only received minimal interest. He wondered what is was that constricted the room.

After they were done eating, Jack went upstairs to take a shower. Will waited until he could hear the water running, when he turned to his grandmother.

"How did this happen, Will?" she asked suddenly, apparently not being able to hold in anything. "Did _he_ make you like this? Did he force you to make this decision?"

"Grandma." He said gently. "This is who I am. I wasn't forced to make any decision."

"You know its wrong Will. Its not God's way."

Will couldn't think of any contradiction for that remark. He could only look at his hands, and his grandmother's hands, just remembering how Protestant she was.

''''''

"Jack?" Will asked the darkness for his friend, as he lay in bed.

"What is it Will?" Jack turned from his sleep, and opened his eyes. He sat up a bit, and looked over towards Will's bed.

"Do you believe in God?" Will asked, his eyes looking at the ceiling. Jack shook his head. It was such a simple question, and yet it angered him.

"Will, Im tired."

"Do you?"

"Yes, I do." Jack's bed was closest to the window, he turned and looked out at the night sky.

"Do you believe in heaven and hell?"

"Why are you asking me this?" Jack asked angrily. He could hear Will whip the blanket off himself, and sit up.

"Don't you ever think of these things Jack?"

"What things?"

"You know, about what we are? Don't you ever think that maybe, we aren't right? That we are wrong?"

"We aren't wrong!" Jack whispered harshly, almost raising his voice. "We aren't!"

Will couldn't see his younger friend in the blackness of the room, but he could picture the angry look on his face. "Jack... "

"What?!"

"Its not the way things are supposed to be."

"Im not hearing this." Jack laid back down, and pulled the covers up over his head.

They were quiet for some time. The silence was so thick, it seemed clamorous. They were so used to the ever present noise of the city. It wasn't so peaceful, so stark and clear like this. Will glanced out at the stars, at how bright they were.

"You think _you_ have the right to ask these questions?" Jack blurted loudly in the dark. "You don't know anything!"

"You don't either." Will muttered, his own anger growing. He could hear Jack breath in sharply at his words. "You tell me stupid things that I don't care about. You make me do things that I honestly don't think really matter."

Jack went silent, his eyes softening at the revelation. "You don't like who you are?" he finally asked the question.

"Who does?"

Jack sat up again and looked over at his friend. He reached over and turned on the lamp. Will squinted as the light flooded the room.

"How are saying this? All the things we've been doing, they've been fun haven't they?" Jack asked hopefully.

"Well, yes. Its just... it all seems so, trivial. Hair gel, the right jeans, shoes, manicures, going out every weekend."

"These things may not seem important. But they help you. They're fun. Its all we have you know!" Jack felt himself babbling.

"Everyone hates us. Everyone hates me." Will groaned and sat up. He was almost weeping. Jack felt terrible for being so angry. He realized that, Will was scared. He was still afraid of what he was and what lied ahead for him. Getting up, Jack walked over and sat beside his friend.

"It gets better." Jack said softly.

"This coming from someone who gets his ass kicked everyday at school." Will burst, missing the flash of pain of his friend's face. "How do you know if it gets better. You don't know anything!"

"It will get better." Jack managed to get out, still unsettled by Will's harsh words. "And one day, you'll know that what Im doing, and what Im telling you isn't as stupid or unimportant as you think!"

Jack let his anger take the back seat for a while. His friend was in a vulnerable state. He couldn't bear to take advantage of that. Sliding back into his bed, he just closed his eyes, wishing away at all the hurt he was feeling.

As Will shut off the light, Jack leaned over to get his stuffed animal. He clutched it tightly, and looked out at the stars.

'''''''

[1] Has anyone seen that kinda ferris wheel? You know, the ones that go really slow, because they have the ones shaped like a flying, roofed circle? Its hard to describe. I need help. --

Sorry things were so talky and stuff. Things will pick up soon. Do not fret my little faithfuls! Love you all. (Hi Jacquelyn!)


	11. Chapter 11

Sorry for the late update... just been feeling a little... ah never mind.... here you go!

'''''''''''''''''

Someday My Prince Will Come

Chapter 11

'''''''''''''''

_I feel like Im running and running, to nothing but stop signs! Sure of myself and running, only to be stopped when I get speed. That's how it feels lately. Im mad at Will. And he's mad at me. The exact reason, I don't know. He's so complicated. He dropped me off at home, and said 'bye,' but he didn't look at me. I don't know why he's mad. It must have been his grandma, because when they said good-bye, I could see something strange about them. She was talking to him the night we came from the amusement park. She must have put him in a bad mood. He looked scared and angry. He tried to tell me I didn't know anything. Telling me that what I was teaching him was unimportant, that it was stupid; that I was stupid.  
Who cares? When Will's ready to say sorry, for blaming me for what he is, then I'll be ready to help him again. Its been two weeks since I've talked to him._

_I really miss him._

''''''''''

Backstage, actors and actresses rushed back and forth, frantically making changes and modifications. Jack wandered around the makeup and costume room, sorting through the racks for something to add to a dwarf's outfit.

It made him very upset that they had to use high school students on their knees to create the image of a proper dwarf. He had uttered an idea to use some of the children from the school, to volunteer and be dwarves. But of course, adults had to ruin everything and keep it their own way; with awkward, fake, adolescent dwarves.

"This should make you look pudgier. Since you are Happy."

"Happy doesn't mean pudgy. And he's not the only pudgy one. They're all pudgy."

"I know, but who's the pudgiest?"

The actor grumbled and took the costume. Jack rolled his eyes. Actors were so impossible. But he snickered, because he was the same way. He stood back as more of the stage crew hurried past him. All the excitement of dress rehearsal was refreshing. Being behind the curtains and watching the production was the only part of his day that he enjoyed.

He could hear Ms. Coopman's voice saying the rehearsal needed to commence.

The music began. Jack moved to the curtain, stage right, and watched as the lights went on. He looked towards the pianist, and the little orchestra from the music department. Everyone seemed ready. And then Snow White came out. Jack smiled. The girl was perfect for the role. But as usual, one with so much talent has too much ego.

She started singing. And Jack felt compelled to sing along. Snow White fluttered about on the stage, delivering her song. The sweet soprano voice echoed through the theater, speaking of hope and love. Jack wondered if this girl truly believed what she was singing.

"_Im wishing (Im wishing)  
For the one I love  
To find me (to find me)  
Today (today)..."_

The song ended as the prince made his entrance, and the play fully began. Jack sat backstage, suddenly feeling very lonely. He was wishing for someone too.

'''''''

"Can you believe he said, that I didn't know anything?"

"Oh Jack, he's so ungrateful!" Frank exclaimed. "I don't know why you ever bothered."

"I don't either."

"He's right you know." Came another voice. Jack suppressed a sound of irritation as Noah walked into the living room. The tall blonde settled into his distant recliner and brought a cold drink to his lips.

"Why is he right?" demanded Jack.

"You don't know anything."

"Im really getting sick of you." Jack stood up.

"Come on you guys. Settle down." Frank said.

"I won't!" shouted Jack. "You Noah, are an asshole!"

"Jack! You know I hate that language." Frank groaned.

"Stop mothering him Franky. He gets enough of that at home." Noah smirked, amusement dancing wildly in his eyes.

"Oh fuck off." snapped Jack.

"Im leaving." Frank rose to his feet and grabbed his coat. With a decisive glare at the other two, he slammed the door behind him.

"Im going too." Jack sighed, casting a dark look at the man on the recliner and picking up his book-bag.

"Always going. Always on the run." Noah droned from his spot, and he closed his eyes. Jack tilted his head in confusion, and put his bag down.

"Im not running. You just say stupid stuff. I don't want to listen to it."

"You don't want to listen, cause what I say is true."

"How is it true?"

"You helped this guy, Will." Noah said, almost bitterly. "You helped him, thinking it would all be perfect. You taught him the stupid things, the 'gay' things, and now you're complaining about him not wanting it."

"He will like what he is one day. He'll want it all." Jack replied, almost thoughtfully and sat down. The apartment looked darker, as the afternoon sun became obscured behind rain clouds.

"And what do you want from him Jack?" Noah asked. "Surely the thought of having him for yourself has crossed your mind. That is why you helped him in the first place."

"Oh shut up."

"And do you think he'll stick around once he knows everything? Once he realizes he doesn't need you anymore?"

"He's my friend." Jack could barely contain his fear. Would Will leave him once he knew everything, once he was well prepared and experienced? Jack's hand closed tightly around the lapel of his coat, and a stream of nervousness went through him. 'He is mad at me. He said I didn't know anything.'

"Once he's accustomed and aware, he'll realize how childish you are, and how stupid the things that you've been teaching him are."

"Shut up." Jack breathed and picked up his bag. "You... you're wrong." He walked to the door, and took one last look at Noah. "You're wrong..."

''''''

It was English class yet again. It wasn't his favorite class, but it was better than gym. He sat alone, pretending to be studying the Shakespeare story they were assigned. Truth was, he didn't understand Shakespeare which was strange since he wanted to be an actor.

'I don't care about this crap. I don't care for it at all.' He grimaced at the old words, and strange syntax. It was alien and ugly to him. The only bit he understood was the title: 'A Midsummer's Night Dream.' Such a pretty title, but the story itself; he just didn't understand.

They were supposed to write their own short play, with a character resembling the main characters of the Shakespeare play. That was the assignment. But for now all Jack needed was a title for it. He sighed.

A wave of bitterness crashed down on him as he listened to his classmates giggling amongst themselves. They were all in partners, working together. Of course he was left without one, and had to work by himself. He suddenly missed his old school. There were more kids like him in the Catholic school. And they were so protected.

He and his friends would gripe and whine about having to attend assemblies or school functions. They had no real friendship, only companionship to ease the shame of being left alone. He was conspicuous enough, even in uniform. Everyone was conditioned to think the same, and to believe their destinies were determined by their commitment to the church and to its teachings.

'I do believe in God, and in Jesus...' Jack thought, as he remembered when Will had asked him about it in Syracuse. He remembered his days as an altar boy, the nuns and the priests; all so strict. And Jack began to remember why he didn't like the school, and he grew confused.

Here, in the public school, he was so 'out there', so much like a nail that stuck out and had yet to be hammered down with the others. Decidedly, Jack put his pencil to work. 'I won't be hammered down.'

Jack turned slightly to glance at his 'friend' Liz, who was leaning dutifully over her desk, already with an outline of her play. She was a writer. She helped him at the beginning of the year, when none of the AIDS thing was so pervasive. Jack and she had written out a scene in drama class, and they had a blast.

But it was the 'guilty by association' factor that came into play. 'She has a life here at school. Hanging with me would screw it up.' Jack let out a heavy sigh. His teacher came around. Jack suppressed a groan.

"Do you have your title written down, Jack?" She asked, picking up his paper. He really hadn't written a title, only what he was thinking.

"Hm, hopefully you can write something with this." The woman placed the paper back down and looked at the rest of the students' work. Lowering his eyes, Jack looked at what he'd written.

_The Nail That Sticks Out_

'''''''''

A voice...

"Jack!"

Jack was running through a blizzard. It was cold, and the ice whirled around him, biting. Somehow, his running was swift, and he was not too troubled by the frenzied snowfall. The sky was purple and gray, dark and suffocating, but he could breathe and he could still run. Something warm was wrapped around him; an impenetrable coat. His hands were not gloved but they didn't need gloves.

"Jack!"

Nothing was around him. He was running and running through the snow, getting no where, seeing nothing... until a light. Jack slowed and came upon a lighted house. The color was so dark, it was hard to tell it was there. But Jack saw the light in the window and walked up to the threshold. With the wind whipping around him, Jack opened the door. Behind it, stood Will with big troubled eyes.

"Jack! I've been calling you!" He crowed, cowering in the warmth of the house. Jack shook his head and smiled.

"I've been calling you too!"

"You have?" Will straightened a bit.

"Come on out Will! Come on, you should see, its crazy out here!" Gesturing to the tempest behind him, Jack winked.

"I don't belong out there. I don't belong out there." Will curled a fist at his hip and let out a sad little sound. It looked like he was pained, in the sweltering temperature of the house. A fire roared behind him, and the walls were hardwood. Jack moved forward, attempting to touch his friend, but a thick glass wall separated them. Jack tapped the wall, eyes confused.

"Of course you belong out here!" Jack laughed. "Will, come on. Break it. We need to go. This place is too hot. You can't be in here anymore."

"Its too cold out there. The snow is too wild, and I don't know how to walk through it."

"You just need the right coat, and you'll get used to the snow. You'll learn how to walk through it, once you get out of here."

"I can't. Its too cold. I'll die out there." Will shook his head furiously and shuddered in the heat. Jack grew frightened and frowned.

"You'll die in _here_! Now break through this and come outside Will!"

"Will the snow be like that forever? What happens when it stops? What will be there?" Will asked, and pressed his hand up against the glass. Jack could feel himself being pulled from the house, far away from Will, far away from that foreign heat. He was pulled out so qickly, he had forgotten what he was looking for and he blinked hard, only to open them again; to a barren feeling.

Tundra. Nothingness, and tundra.

"...Jack..."

'''''''

"Jack!"

"What is it?" Jack asked, waking from his vivid dream. He looked up into the angry eyes of his math teacher.

"Do you need to see the nurse, Jack?" He asked angrily and crossed his arms.

"No. No I don't" Jack rubbed his eyes and blinked several times. As his teacher continued the lecture, Jack thought hard about the dream. It was so real. It was like Will was in front of him again.

'God I miss him.' Jack said, the nothingness settling in his chest.

'''''''

Jack trotted home from school, looking up at the sky once and a while, for a sign from God . For something that would tell him he was going to be fine. He was praying a lot more than normal. He was praying for Will to return and discard his anger. Constantly, amid the clamor of school or traffic, Jack would utter silent prayers, his lips moving quickly in his solitude.

On a Sunday or after a long and quiet dinner with his mother, Jack would get on his knees in front of his bed and begin:

'Please, Holy Mother, send Will a little more courage. He doesn't deserve your kindness or your grace, since he is not baptized, but he is pure, and he needs courage. Send your love.'

Or when he was feeling extremely forlorn and frantic with loneliness, he would crouch down by the window, with a dramatic sound and let it fall from his mouth.

"Blessed Virgin, let Will see that he needs me. Let him see that we are not evil or wrong. Let him see that I need him too, and that we are best friends no matter what. Give him the love and courage he needs, give him all the strength you have given me. Give him the truth. We aren't evil, or wrong."

And he would pray, trying to convince himself that he wasn't evil, or wrong.

'''''''''''


	12. Chapter 12

From here on in, the story gets a teeny bit violent and dark. If ya didn't know, you didn't read the summary.

'''''''''''''

Someday My Prince Will Come

Chapter 12

'''''''''''

"We were doing everything together! I was showing him how to be a good dresser, and what to eat, where to shop, what music was crap and what music wasn't; and he just snapped. He was my best friend! And now he'll never speak to me again!" Jack cried, shoveling some yogurt into his mouth with a plastic spoon. The receptionist at the main office, Ms. Gongora, nodded sympathetically and sighed.

"Don't worry too much about it Jack. If he's truly your friend, he'll call and you guys will be hanging out again in no time!" She put down her nail filer and patted him on the shoulder.

"Young man, the counselor is ready for you now." Another woman said from the administration foyer. After tossing his yogurt into the trash bin, Jack waved to the young woman at the desk, and followed the older one to the counselor's office.

It was the third time he had talked to the counselor since the whole AIDS ordeal began. And it wasn't something he looked forward too. Every time he saw the man, he would grimace and shake his head a lot, making Jack feel like he was doing something wrong. But sometimes, the man helped him understand what was happening to him; almost convincing him of certain things...

Jack stepped through the door, peering inside the bright room. Upon seeing his counselor at his desk, Jack moved forward and sat down.

"Hello Jack." He smiled curtly and pulled out a folder.

"Hey Mr. Giller." Jack shifted in his seat, fumbling with the straps of his book bag.

"Tell me, how's the play going?" Mr. Giller opened the folder, taking out some papers. Jack watched his hands, and smiled. He loved talking about his play.

"Its going great. Opening night is this Thursday. It'll run this week and next week, and then we start planning for the Crucible!" He said excitedly.

"Have you spoken with your father at all?" The man asked, completely changing the subject.

Jack slumped in his seat, instantly regretting ever mentioning his father to this man. "No. He's called the house. I don't really like talking to him."

"How is your mother?"

"She's fine." Jack sighed, already getting bored.

"Is there anything you want to talk about in particular?"

"Not really."

"Nothing? You sure?" The man raised his eyebrow and crossed him arms. "Nothing happening that you would like to discuss?"

"Well, I've been having crazy dreams lately. I know you're not a psychologist--"

"Actually..."

"-but I really think its creepy."

"Tell me."

"They all revolve around my friend. He just came out a couple months ago. We were best friends for a while. But he got mad at me because he thinks I don't know anything, and that Im stupid. Well, In the dream Im walking behind a caravan of shepherds and cattle. Its weird. I thought shepherds herded sheep! And we are traveling, when we come to a river. This is when my friend Will appears by my side. He asks,

'How do we cross Jack?'

"I turn to him, telling him not to worry. The shepherds are getting on the cattle and slowly make their way. He looks at me and says, again 'How do we cross?' I smile and begin swimming across. The cows seem fine as they walk through it. But as I swim, I can't find the ground. Its deep.

"I do fine, swimming. Will on the other hand always drowns. He jumps in like he wants to catch up, splashing around like he doesn't know how to swim. In the middle of the river he panics, and wants to go back. He stops swimming, knowing that if he goes back, he will die.

"I scream at him, 'Keep swimming!' He thinks about it, but takes too long and drowns." Jack finished, and then cracked up. "Pretty crazy huh?"

The counselor drew his brows together, and grimaced. Instantly, Jack felt ashamed for sharing this with him.

"Its stupid. I know it is." Jack blurted. "But my being gay has nothing to do with my crazy dreams." And he laughed again, to shake off the nervousness.

"Its your friend." Mr. Giller said.

"What?"

"Its your friend. He is fueling these dreams. You never talked to me about him before."

"Oh, well, I" Jack didn't want to talk about Will with this man. But he wondered if this counselor could clarify what was going on. "Will is my best friend. I told you, I helped him come out a couple months ago."

"You helped him 'come out?'" Raising an eyebrow, the man behind the desk seemed interested in this bit of information.

"Yea. I helped him. He was trying to hide the fact that he was gay, even from himself. He wouldn't admit it, so I-"

"Forced him to."

"Uh, well I guess so. Yea I did."

"Why did you do that?"

Jack struggled with his words. "Well, he shouldn't be pretending to be something he isn't."

"So you thought he was gay and told him he was."

"Yea!"

"How do you know he wasn't straight? How did you know you were right?"

"I just know. Its instinct."

"Jack, no one is born that way. Its a choice, a lifestyle. You've chosen this lifestyle as well."

"No. Its who I am. And I've told you before, that I don't agree with that little theory." Jack muttered.

"You forced your friend to make this decision."

"I didn't! He was already like this. Don't you get it?" Jack slammed his palms down on the desk in frustration. The counselor tilted his head with an emotion that Jack couldn't read.

"Jack. Wouldn't it be easier for you to just admit that you made the wrong decision? You are paying for it with your peers. And it must be killing your parents."

Jack couldn't believe what he was hearing. A deep anger was surging through him, all he could think of was how much it would relieve him to strangle this guy!

"My dad fell off the face of the earth when I told him. My mom is just fine." Jack sighed. "Nothing else is wrong with me. Its just this stupid disease everyone's scared about. Its stupid."

"You don't care about it?"

"Why should I? It doesn't bother me. I don't have it or anything!"

"But you could easily get it any day, with the way you live your life."

"No I can't! The way I live my life is perfectly normal."

"Its highly unnatural Jack. Highly unnatural." And he shook his head. "For all you know, you could have been dating someone with the virus. You converse with people who might have it. You go to places where the risk of infection is high. The virus is spreading, Jack. And you could acquire it as well."

It was like a tidal wave came down hard on him, leaving thick traces of shock on his face. There he was sitting, and realizing that this terrible thing he had been scoffing for a long while, was closer to taking him than he thought.

Numbed with the words of his counselor, Jack stood and left. The lunch bell rang, and he moved stiffly through the halls. The students shuffled around him, making their way to the cafeteria. The walls were gray with the little light the sun was giving on that overcast day.

'I've shared drinks with people. At the bars, on dates. I could have it.' The blood test results hadn't returned yet. He felt a chill take over him. 'I have it.'

He ignored the random sneers and insults as he traveled up the hall toward the stairs. Everything was turning gray. 'I could have it.' The people whirling around him knew it. Everyone knew it, except for him. 'I could have it.' He looked once at James as he passed, hoping for something. 'What is it? What do I want from him?'

"What are you staring at?" James barked, and shoved him to the side. Jack watched him for a long while, not knowing why. Something inside him fell away. He felt convinced that he was infected, that the disease was festering inside of him, that his insides were swarming with it. He could barely register what James was saying to him.

"Keep your mouth closed fag, you might breathe your AIDS on us."

The halls were emptying as everyone piled into the cafeteria. Jack watched and felt them grow silent. James would have left him alone and kept walking. But Jack lost it.

"You know I just might." Jack said in his direction. The words echoed so strangely off of the walls. Jack could see them fly from his mouth, but he couldn't stop them.

James turned, his eyes wide with fury. And Jack knew he would be pummeled right then and there. At first, he thought he should run. Something told him to run, but he ignored it and remained frozen.

'You don't know anything remember? They could have been right the whole time.'

"What did you say?" James stalked towards him. Jack couldn't speak, he couldn't hear what this boy was saying. All he knew, was that he was wrong.

'I was wrong the whole time. I don't know anything.' Jack watched James come closer, and he could feel the tears building already. But it wasn't out of fear, or the knowledge of the pain to come. He felt them brimming, and he knew it was because he didn't do what he was supposed to. He was spending his whole life worrying over stupid things, and didn't even see the bad things coming.

The senior's fist was already too familiar to Jack. He went down instantly, hardly fighting back like he would in other scuffles. 'I don't know anything.'

This new revelation sunk into him like water to a sponge. He could feel it inside him; the virus. And the world was still gray. He forgot about James pulling him up and offering him another couple of blows. He forgot about being kicked harshly on the ground and thrown into a maintenance closet.

Lying in the darkness, Jack watched the grayness fading to black. 'I was wrong. I was always wrong.'

'Holy mother. This evil is inside me. Its always been here. I've always been wrong.'

"Why am I praying?" He asked the walls, in self-deprecation.

''''''''''

The dream was quiet. Sitting alone in a field of grass, Jack watched the stars. Everything was bright and peaceful. Trees spotted the area, offering solace for the weary teenager. He laid back, watching the stars going out.

"Why are they going out?" He asked no one in particular.

"That's how it always is. Haven't you noticed before?" Noah said, emerging from behind the tree. His brilliantly green eyes shone in the night. Jack gave him an uncertain glance.

"No I haven't." Jack frowned, feeling his chest for his heartbeat. The night sky became blackened and he went stiff in fear. In the background, a cynical chuckle emanated from Noah. Whirling to see the blonde, all Jack could make out was the eerie green of his eyes.

"That's how it always is. You haven't noticed it. That's what makes you oblivious and stupid."

All the stars had gone out.

''''''''''

"That is it! You are leaving this school and going back to St.'s this fall! I won't have this anymore." Jack's mother cried, circling him with a horrified look on her face. It was strange to Jack. Ever since his father left, his mother paid more attention to him. She was a bit more caring.

Too sick with emptiness, Jack ignored his mother and ascended the stairs. Nothing mattered too much now. It was all gray, without color. He dropped his bag by the door, and wandered absently to a mirror. His eyes watered at the mere sight of himself. And he began shaking, feeling an anxiety attack coming on.

But he wouldn't cry. He just wiped his eyes and dropped to his knees by the bed. He laid his head down on the mattress and began; 'Please, please God. Get this evil out of me. Get it out!'

The phone rang and Jack jumped. He thought about ignoring it. It rang stubbornly. Reaching over finally, Jack answered. "Hello?"

"Jack? Its me J-"

Jack hung up the phone. He didn't want to hear Jesse. He didn't want to hear anyone. His heart was sinking.

''''''''''


	13. Chapter 13

'''''''''''

Someday My Prince Will Come

Chapter 13

'''''''''''

Jack watched his Drama teacher ranting and raving to the stage crew, trying to get the lighting ready for the show. She began yelling at the whole lot of students, chastising them for their disorganization.

"We went over this several times at rehearsal!" She screamed up at the boys working at the lights. "You have only ten minutes!"

Jack shook his head from the costume room, and continued looking for Snow White's eye liner. He hurried through the new makeup kit and found the little black bottle. As he opened the cosmetic he looked at the girl's eyes briefly and then began applying.

"Not too heavy." She muttered.

"I know that." Jack smiled. "We can't have Snow White looking like a hooker." He finished up and inspected her costume. She was in the rag dress, but underneath was the princess gown. "You nervous?" He asked her, and made a few modifications to the dress.

"Hardly. I've done this tons of times." She sighed and studied her face in the mirror. "Looks too heavy. But we don't have time." Her smile was wry, but Jack accepted it and smiled back.

"Good luck."

"Yea, sure..."

Jack walked along the wall backstage, and made his way towards the curtains. He peeked out the side, watching the children pouring in through the doors. They seemed mildly excited, and chatted amongst themselves. Jack hoped they would enjoy the show.

He was also relieved that the show was finally going to commence. After it was over, then there would be more plays to worry about, better roles.

"Hey Jack! There you are, I need your help." Came a female voice from behind him.

Jack turned to see the Wicked Queen standing in her gown. The girl beneath the costume was rather nice, and Jack had grown fond of her. But upon taking one look at her eyes he gasped.

"What happened?" He asked pointedly.

"Oh, Im sorry. I was in the back room helping with the props when I got an allergic reaction to all the dust. I couldn't stop rubbing." She said miserably and followed Jack back to the makeup.

He wiped her eyes down and cleaned them off, and then began reapplying the makeup; heavy eyeliner, with a wicked sweep of dark violet eye-shadow. He smirked at his work and let the girl look at herself.

"Excited about the show?" He asked, closing up the makeup kit.

"Sure am." She smiled. "Did you see all those kids out there? They're so cute!"

"I guess." Jack shrugged and began playing with a wig that had been laying about. The girl watched him.

"Jack. When this is over, what'll you do?"

"When what is over?" Jack asked.

"The play. I mean, I know you love acting. I can see it. You like attention don't you?" She said playfully.

"Who doesn't?" He smiled back and placed the wig on his head. When the girl giggled, Jack did a playful twirl and curtsied with an imaginary skirt. "Im gonna audition for 'The Crucible.'"

"Really? Me too. What part are you going for?"

"I dunno. Maybe 'Mr. Proctor'."

"In that case, I'll go for 'Elizabeth Proctor'."

Jack gave a toothy grin, before yanking off the wig when a boy appeared in the doorway. It was Prince Charming. "Need anything?" Jack asked brightly.

"Just some hairspray." The boy said awkwardly and reached for it himself. After he was done, Jack and the girl watched him leave. When he was gone, they burst into a fit of giggles.

"I still think he would have done better as Dopey." The girl laughed out loud, looking very uncharacteristic in her Wicked Queen costume.

"You gotta admit though. He's one hell of a singer." Jack mused and smiled. They giggle some more and looked at each other.

"Hey. We should hang out." The girl said, in such a tone; as if it was shame that they didn't. She took the wig from Jack's hands. "I mean, we _have_ been in two productions together."

"Really? Oh yea." Jack nodded, but felt sick with a sudden nervousness. "You sit with Liz don't you? I don't think she likes me."

"Oh. Yea." The girl bit her lip. They were quiet for a little while. She got up and gave the brown wig back to Jack. "Well I better get out there. We start soon."

"Good luck Kathy."

"Thanks!" she called back and gave a little wave.

'Its weird how someone so nice, can play someone so mean.' thought Jack ironically.

Jack looked down at the wig in his hands and gave a bitter little smile. He turned to the mirror, and shook his head. As the narrator's voice boomed through the theater, Jack wandered into the back rooms. So the show would not be disrupted, most of the entrances were locked from the outside. Jack decided to leave.

'I've seen the play a million times.' Jack thought and pulled his bag from off the floor. Struggling with the door that lead outside, Jack pushed it open. The cold hit him like a wave, and he began to make his way out of the school parking lot, and towards the park.

He wondered what stole his excitement away.

The February evening was frigid. There was no snow. Jack wished there was. That kind of cold was inexcusable. Meandering down the street, he watched the clouds move slowly.

There was a bench by the desolate playground. He took his place on it and watched the empty swings sway slightly in the wind. Leaning back he peered up at the stars and shivered.

'Maybe the disease inside of me will freeze.' He thought and closed his eyes. For the past week the only thing that had kept his mind off of the terrible things around him, was the play. But now that would be coming to an end, and he wondered what he would do.

He missed his best friend terribly. Nothing made him happy like spending his time with Will had. A dry whine escaped him.

"What's wrong?" Came a voice from behind him. Jack slumped in his seat and recognized the voice.

"What do you want?"

"To know what is wrong." Jesse sat beside him, a strange look in his eyes.

Too depressed to chase his ex-boyfriend away, Jack found he needed company. He turned his eyes to the older man, taking in the fine features he possessed. Idly, Jack leaned on him, seeking warmth.

"Feeling lonely?" asked the green eyed man, and put a gentle arm around the teenager.

"Kinda." Jack whispered and looked up at the sky again.

"Wanna go for a drink or something?"

Jack shut his eyes and shook his head.

"A walk?"

Again, Jack shook his head.

"Coffee? Maybe in the city?"

Jack paused and thought about it. Getting away from his neighborhood seemed appealing. "Okay." He followed Jesse down the street. They walked for a short while, before coming to a black sedan. Jack recognized it and got inside.

''''''''''

The Thursday night was pleasant in the city, even in such brutal temperatures. Clinging to Jesse's arm, Jack walked down the street looking at the faces who passed them. He wondered if any of those people were rotting from the inside out with the virus as well. 'That man looks like he's dying.' Jack trembled and chased away the scary thoughts.

"You cold? You need a better jacket?" Jesse asked in genuine concern. Jack shook his head and let go of his arm.

"Im just really thirsty." He watched Jesse pull out his wallet.

"Okay lets go right in here." They entered a nearby cafe and found a table. Jack remembered coming here with Will a few weeks before they stopped talking.

(flashback)

"So, where are we going next weekend?" Jack whined wanting to know what Will had in store.

"Don't worry about it now. Just know that it's upstate and it'll be loads of fun."

"Hm." Jack lifted an eyebrow and the two grew silent. As he looked at Will, Jack began to laugh.

"What's so funny?" Will asked with interest.

"Nothing. Just thinking about the first time I saw you."

"Oh." Will's face fell again, and he sighed. After a moment of quiet, Will asked, "Did you think I was a hopeless case? Or did you not even think about becoming my friend at the time?"

"Well, I wouldn't say you were a hopeless case." Jack said with amusement. "After all, I think I've done a pretty good job so far." He looked at Will, feeling something strange in the air. And his eyes grew softer. "But you did look sad. I wanted to be your friend at the time. That's why I went to the second party."

"Why? Why did you want to be my friend?"

Jack thought about this. The truth was, he liked Will, and he felt a strange connection with him. There was no other person he'd met that made him feel so happy and safe and comfortable with. It was strange. But he couldn't say this to Will. "I thought you had great potential. And I knew you would appreciate someone like me in your life!" Jack said brightly and threw a smug little smile in his friend's direction.

Will could only roll his eyes and shift in his seat. They were strangely quiet. It wasn't normal for the two to be that way. Their eyes met for a brief second, and Will felt something inside his chest. Something he was not comfortable with. He looked down at Jack's hands. "You have nice nails."

"Thanks, I know!" chirped Jack and he leaned forward. "I'll show you how to give yourself a mani one of these days!"

And they two dove into conversation again.

(end flashback)

The streets were slick with frost, a Jack observed from inside the cafe. He watched people walk by, mostly couples, engulfed in either conversation or silence. And he wondered how they could stand being so normal. His mind was off in some other place. In the distance he could hear Jesse rambling on about something.

'I hope Spring comes quickly... ' Jack thought absently, and took a sip of his cappuccino. Then he laughed at himself.

"What's so funny?" asked a paranoid Jesse.

"Oh, don't worry. Im not laughing at you." Jack assured him and sat back. His gaze fell on the outside once again, and he almost began drifting again, when he saw Will walking up the street and towards the cafe. "Oh, shit!"

Jack stood up so quickly, his cup fell off of the table, spilling the contents all over the ground. "Oh, shit!" He exclaimed again, and frantically threw a wad of napkins onto the mess. He moved quickly away from the table towards the bathroom, when he was grabbed by the arm.

"Jack, what the hell is the matter?" Jesse asked. Jack struggled away from Jesse and hoped to make a dash for the rest room, but it was too late. Will entered the cafe, and saw him.

Their eyes met for a second; a strange and yet significant period of time. Will looked as if he was about to walk up to Jack, and say something. Until Jack made a sudden and desperate sound and laughed at a joke Jesse never cracked.

"Oh, Jess, you are a riot!" Jack laughed out loud and slapped Jesse's arm playfully. Jesse raised his eyebrows warily before placing an arm around Jack.

"Are you okay?" He asked.

"Im fine!" Jack kept the smile and stood there in front of the counter, in Will's way of ordering.

"Hey buddy, you're blocking the customer!" Scolded the man behind the register. Jack couldn't remember what expression Will wore on his face. But he did remember feeling awful afterwards, as he walked with Jesse down the sidewalk and towards the car.

'What a phony I am!' He thought furiously, and began feeling numb up inside. He kept cringing at his shameful behavior. 'I could have at least said hello!'

He stopped in the middle of the sidewalk and clenched his eyes shut. "I can't believe I did that!" He said aloud and stomped his foot. Jesse turned around.

"What? Spill the coffee?" Jesse asked. "I think its too late to be worrying about that... "

"Spilt coffee.. " Jack groaned.

"Come on, lets go." Jesse said, surprisingly soft. Jack stared at the man's outstretched hand and contemplated on going back to the cafe to see if Will was still there.

'He doesn't want to talk to you.' Jack berated himself and sighed, taking Jesse's hand. They walked together, and Jack began remembering all the things he liked about this man. Despite the fact that he was dark and strange, and creepy; Jack appreciated his company.

But it was strange...

...because there was a lot he didn't know.

Jack looked up at him, observing the green eyes darkened in the night. They got into the car and drove out of the city. Jack leaned on Jesse's shoulder and closed his eyes. It was good to have someone beside him. He didn't know how much longer he could take not having Will around.

Jesse parked the car by Jack's house. After shutting off the ignition he looked down at his ex-boyfriend. Jack was staring up at him. "What is it?"

"I was thinking... about why you always call and come over all the time." Jack said frankly. "Why do you do it?"

"Im just hoping you'll change you're mind one day... "

"Oh."

"... and I really like you Jack." Jesse said more eagerly. "I don't know what you're waiting for, or who you're waiting for, but I know I can give you what you want."

"Yea. Sure." Jack rolled his eyes, already bored. As he looked at the hurt on the older man's face, he felt a pang of pity hit him. "Can you just... be my friend? Until Im sure? Its a big world out there. And I want to be sure about who my... prince is... you know?" Jack finished off with a bright smile and laughed at the perplexed look in his companion's eyes.

"Sure." They smiled at each other.

''''''''

Jack sighed and climbed up the stairs to the roof of the school. In his hands were a walkman and a cassette. He smiled at the cassette tape Will had given him when they were speaking. It was the Disney soundtrack to Snow White.

As he reached the top, Jack opened the door and greeted the overcast skies of New York. It was pleasant. Sitting down on a large pipe, Jack looked down at the ground. He remembered what his counselor had told him a week ago, and he compared it to what Noah had said a while later.

"You can only get the virus through blood or seminal fluids."

Jack wondered how Noah knew so much, but that fact calmed him. And he gave up on begging god to help him. The tape got stuck.

"Aw crap!" He shook out the tape and inspected the damage. All the tape was tangled up inside the walkman. "Now how do I fix this?" He asked himself and stood up from his seat.

"How do I fix this tangled mess...?"

'''''''''

Sorry; not too exciting ne? Just wanted to let you know, I wasn't dead. Im working on Ch 14 & 15, those will be out soon. Many thanks to those who are still reading my story! .


	14. Chapter 14

* * *

Someday My Prince Will Come

Chapter 14

* * *

Will stood quietly, watching the crowd of people from his position against the wall. The student center was packed that night. His eyes wandered, falling on several familiar faces, who looked his way once and then turned. His name tag was proving useless; not one person had come to him for help that night.

'Why am I here?' He thought miserably, as a prospective student rushed past him, looking for the testing booth. He was supposed to be at this little orientation talk to future students and answer their questions.

His friends were no where in sight; the friends that remained by his side, anyway. Feeling bereft, Will gave up on the crowd and made his way to the door before bumping into a tall blonde.

"Oh, sorry, go ahead." Will muttered, allowing the man to pass. But the blonde remained, staring openly at him, amusement dancing in his eyes.

"Truman." He smiled and looked him up and down. Will frowned in confusion, fairly certain that he hadn't met this man before. He was wondering how he knew his name, since his name tag only said, 'Will' on it.

"Yea?"

"Noah. Sociology. Professor Albert."

"Oh, sorry, I don't recognize you."

"It's a big class." Noah flashed another smile, one Will did not really care for. "On your way out?"

"Uh, yea. Its all going well without me." said Will and he gazed over his shoulder at the flurry of people, before making his way out. Noah followed, his hands in his pockets and the same devious smile on his face. The cold hit them hard.

"Life goes on, even when the biggest things happen to you." Noah murmured absently.

"I suppose." Will rolled his eyes at the obvious and inopportune statement. Not wanting to be rude and just ditching his classmate, Will hesitated before walking off.. He didn't know this man at all, and he didn't get a good feeling from him either. The man hovered, and watched him, before pulling out a cigarette.

"Would you like one?" He asked, and Will shook his head. He kept walking along side him, just staring.

"What?! What is it?" Will asked in frustration. He glared up at Noah.

"Oh, nothing. You just clean up rather nicely." Noah took a drag and began to walk off. "I'll tell Jack you said 'hi''." He called back and made his way to the curb to hail a cab.

Will frowned, "What? Wait, you know Jack? Wait." Will glowered as Noah ignored him and got into a taxi.

'What a jerk.' The cold was stinging his arms, and he cursed at himself for wearing such a flimsy jacket. Meandering down the sidewalk, Will thought about his friend. 'Why the hell did we stop talking anyway? Its so stupid. I shouldn't have went nuts on him. There's nothing I can do about the way I am. And its not his fault that the world isn't in agreement with it either. Its neither of our faults,'

With newfound determination, Will decided he would call Jack.

* * *

Jack sunk into his seat, and prepared himself for another day. Drama was his favorite class, and yet he couldn't even concentrate enough to do his work. With James sitting directly behind him, it didn't make things easier.

He had forgotten his monologue workbook, and it was part of his midterm. He blamed his discomfort and lack of motivation on the virus. 'Christ! its getting worse.' He despaired and felt a cold sweat sweep over him.

'You're imagining these things.'

'Aren't cold sweats a symptom? So are frequent headaches!'

'Its all in your head.'

He kept berating himself, watching his teacher as she collected the workbooks. She came up to his desk.

"Jack? Where is your workbook?"

"I don't have it." He mumbled.

"Well, where is it?"

"I didn't do it."

The woman sighed heavily before moving on to James' desk. Jack groaned in shame and kicked the desk in front of him. The girl whirled around and threw him a dirty look. He stuck his tongue out and smiled un-apologetically.

Sad and embittered by the loss of companionship from Will, Jack felt himself getting sick with school and life in general. It all felt pointless to him now. But the strange thing was, he refused to cry anymore. It had been weeks since he last cried, and it was both a blessing and a bane.

'Why is Will mad at me anyway? Doesn't he realize that he needs me?!' Looking down at his notebook, he realized he had been scribbling Will's name all over the page. He smiled softly, and kept at it. Despite his frustrations, he still couldn't help feeling love for his friend. It was one of the only things that got him through the day.

* * *

Providing a fake note in order to avoid participating in gym, Jack watched his class march down the stairs to the hardwood floor. It was much too cold to use the outdoor courts.

Required to be in his gym attire, Jack brought his things to keep himself busy. He sat on the bleachers, watching mildly as the class began playing basketball. He pulled his walkman out and listened to the tape he had manage to salvage. He wrote in his notebook; mostly rambling on the paper about Will and various other wants and wishes. He had no desire whatsoever to do schoolwork. He continued scribbling until he grew sleepy.

Sighing aloud, he closed his eyes and sat back, dropping the notebook on the ground beside his feet. He hoped he would have a dream. Perhaps about Will, perhaps not. Perhaps about the one he was waiting for...

Maybe a tall, well built brunette, with striking dark eyes; it didn't have to be Will. But Jack didn't mind. He would ride up on a white horse, and tell him, "Have you been waiting long?"

Jack would nod and hop onto the horse. It didn't even have to be a horse, perhaps a motorcycle, or a Mercedes. Embracing his rescuer from behind, he would smile contentedly and they would ride off into the sunset, to engage in a number of shopping sprees...

Jack was so enthralled by this daydream he hardly noticed the students climbing the bleachers to return to the locker rooms. Startled, he rose and gathered his things. He felt around the ground for his notebook and felt his heart sink when he couldn't find it.

'Where did I put it?' He reached into his backpack, fishing around for it frantically; but to no avail. 'Did I kick it somewhere?' Jack scanned the bleachers around him, and found nothing. He raced up the steps, and ran towards the locker room. He inspected the ground, figuring someone must have kicked it up there.

"Looking for this?"

Jack's heart sank at the sound of that voice, but he raised his eyes, to give his nemesis an even glare. "Give it back." Jack demanded in a strikingly calm tone. He was much too irate to be pestered by James at the moment.

James considered this briefly, looking down at the notebook and smiling. Without shame, he began thumbing through it.

"Don't!" Jack shouted and charged forward in an attempt to snatch it. James swiftly moved away from him, his face becoming serious and angry.

Jack gave this boy the darkest glare he could muster. It wasn't enough that this boy bothered him every day of school, and pushed him around without remorse. He had to find unique ways to humiliate him! Jack did not want this closeted monster to take his anger out on him.

"Give it back James!" He hissed and stomped his foot. He didn't think he was threatening the senior at all, but it didn't stop the anger from boiling over.

"I don't think so." James opened the notebook and looked down at the page with Will's name all over it. His face became unreadable. His eyes met Jack's briefly, before he went into the locker room.

"No!" Jack went in after him, pleading now, screaming at him to return the notebook. James merely laughed and swung around to show his friends. Jack could feel his face growing hot, his palms getting sweaty.

"Hey fag," One of James' friends called. "Who the hell is Will?" They chuckled and fought over the notebook, reading some of the passages Jack had written, aloud. They went over them, sneering and mocking them, twisting his own words and turning them into something disgusting. They made obscene gestures with their hands and howling with laughter.

The mere sound of their voices replicating his own thoughts nearly drove Jack insane. He had never felt so enraged before. 'How dare they? How dare they?' He kept asking himself.

'Are you just going to stand by and let them do this?' He screamed at himself. The boys kept laughing and showing everyone the pages, tearing them from the notebook to pass around. James watched Jack with all smugness one could possibly exhibit.

This boy, Jack decided, was truly the evil one. All this time he had been berating himself, cursing who he was, because of this insecure fool: saturated in denial. The whole while, he was hating himself, just like his counterpart. Jack blamed this on James and got even more angry.

'You should do something!'

'Everything will end up the same anyway. Why not just show him and his friends what he truly is?'

'Its all his fault anyway.'

'He can't think he's immune to the curse... to what he is'

Numbly, Jack walked up to James, looked him in the face and pulled back his fist. Jack hadn't realized he'd hit James until he felt a roaring pain in his hand. He blinked and felt something cold rush through him. Everything was more vivid now. He shook his hand, hissing at the blaring pain.

Raising his eyes, Jack swallowed hard. James had stumbled back several inches, pure shock written on his face. The red haired boy then became red with fury, he made an unusual sound; something like a growl, Jack couldn't tell. And he couldn't care. He didn't feel so scared, he knew what was going to happen next, but he was still surprised and pleased with the blow he had landed on his enemy. Jack stopped shaking his hand and brought it down by his hip. He hadn't noticed, but the locker room was deathly silent. The dismissal bell cut through the quiet and students were no longer interested in the notebook. They rushed out of the building to go home.

James remained frightfully still, glowering at Jack. But Jack glowered right back, fully prepared for whatever awaited him. James' two friends hung back, surprised and amused that Jack had actually punched the older boy. The senior was not bleeding, but his eyes were flaring with an anger that almost made Jack cower.

Jack knew if he ran, it would make no difference. It was three against one. They would catch up to him.

It wasn't James who made the first move, but his friend, a boy named Richard. Jack was startled when he was shoved by this boy, and knocked backwards. He fell roughly on his bottom, dropping his backpack and sending its contents everywhere.

"Who the hell do you think you are?" Richard sneered and lifted him by the collar to hit him in the face. Shielding his face with his arms, Jack kicked frantically at the boy's legs, attempting to free himself from his grip.

James came around, pushed his friend away and hauled Jack up on his feet. He struck him once in the face, and slammed him up against a neighboring wall. He shook him with such a force, Jack felt his teeth clack.

"You fucking asshole!" James screamed into his face, and slammed him into the wall again. "You goddamn faggot!" He kept screaming, relentlessly shaking the younger boy and then slamming him again.

Dizzy and sick with the force, Jack wasn't sure what was happening. He felt his head bang against the wall and his back hitting it as well, but his vision was growing blurry. He could taste blood in his mouth, but he wasn't certain how it got there. Over and over, he was flogged into the wall, listening to James scream: faggot. It was infuriating. Through the pain, Jack couldn't help but feel annoyed at the hypocrite smashing him into the locker room wall.

Jack managed to raise his hands, in an attempt to dislodge James' hold on him. Insulted with this, James released him, only to deliver a ruthless blow to Jack's stomach. He accidentally bit his tongue.

Now Jack was certain where the blood was coming from. He keened forward, coughing violently. On his hands and knees now, Jack blinked several times, trying to clear his vision. But then he felt James's other friend, Mike come up next to him. He was kicked in the stomach, and fell flat on his belly, finally crying out.

"What now faggot? Try and hit me again!" James leered.

Groaning Jack tried lifting himself off of the ground, feeling self conscious with his assailants standing by watching. He managed to get on his hands and knees again, when Richard produced a trash can, and brought it down over his back. James cackled some more, and exchanged a joke with his friends that Jack could not hear.

'This is really happening.' Jack though the heavy pain in his back. On his belly again, Jack watched blood fall from his nose and onto the tile floor below. 'This is his fault. Not mine. It was never my fault.' Jack thought with wonder. 'The whole time. It was his own fault.' He began chuckling. He giggled so hard, that he began coughing again.

"What the fuck is so funny faggot?!" James demanded. Jack stayed on his belly, but looked up at his enemy with a cruel mirth in his eyes.

"I know what you are." He said simply and began chuckling again.

"What?" James said scornfully.

"I think you shook him too hard." Richard laughed.

Jack rolled over onto his back, propped himself up on his elbows and looked down at the blood that stained his gym uniform. He began laughing louder now, stopping to look up at James and then laughing again. James was feeling very uncomfortable with this, he snarled and pulled Jack up again.

"You're fucking sick in the head aren't you?" James said, not really expecting an answer.

"I know what you are." Jack said again, as if it were confidential. He began saying it over and over. "I know what you are."

"What the fuck is his problem?!" Mike asked.

"I feel sorry for you." Jack smiled. "I know what you are." He coughed a little more blood.

"Come on James, lets get out of here, before we get busted." Richard decided, not feeling good about any of this anymore.

"No. Not yet!"

As they fidgeted, Jack's eyes darkened and he looked James dead in the face. "I know who you really are."

James didn't let go of Jack, but his eyes were unguarded for a moment. Jack was no longer smiling, but sneering. A black and stinging anger blazed in his words. "You're just like me."

Once he said that, James hit him so hard, Jack thought he saw stars. When everything cleared, Jack could see James had let him go, but remained planted before him, breathing so frantically, Jack thought he was having an asthma attack. But it didn't last for long, James dashed forward, pinning him against the wall; his forearm beneath his chin, at the throat.

"Say that again." James dared him. Jack felt frightened all of a sudden. He had spilled the truth to him. It was something James knew, but didn't want to accept. He couldn't let this bastard go on lying.

"James..." Mike said nervously, looking towards the door. "James the janitors will be here any minute. Come on,"

"You're a fucking fag like me!!!" Jack screamed it so loud, he was sure the whole school heard it. A dark dread filled him in that instant, at the sight of James's face; so shocked, so angry, so full of hate. But he was on a roll. "You're a faggot James! You're a fucking queer. You think I can't tell? You have queen 'written' all over-"

Jack was cut off as James went mad and threw him down, kicking and cursing. He was like a crazed animal. Mike and Richard exchanged glances and decided to make a run for it. James was so sloppy now, missing and kicking at nothing, that Jack saw a chance for escape. He darted forward and out the door, heading for the gymnasium. But his aggressor was hot in pursuit.

Jack ran down the stairs, almost in fear for his life. The gym was utterly empty. He finally made to the bottom of the bleachers, only to stumble and fall flat on his face. James was on him in that instant, dragging him up and hitting him again.

Jack covered his face, and scrambled to get away from the crazed high school student. But once again, James had the upper hand. Pinning Jack to the floor, James gripped Jack by the throat and shook him hard.

"Take it back!!!" He screeched like a lunatic, and tried strangling Jack into taking back the words. "Take it back you sick fairy!! Take it back!!"

Jack clawed at the hands around his neck and coughed. How did James expect him to take back the words, if he couldn't even speak? Not like he would take back the words anyhow...

"Take it back!!"

Jack felt his eyes watering at the lack of air. He kicked feebly as James shook him, trying to break free. He wondered if James really intended to choke him and kill him. He looked James in the eyes, not relenting for what he said. Now he was beginning to panic, he dug his nails into the hands around his throat, hoping he would withdraw. He was gaining nothing. So he gathered the blood and saliva in his mouth and spat directly into the redhead's face.

This gave Jack a window to breathe, because James lifted his hands to wipe at his face. Jack took in a gulp of air, and almost went slack, feeling weak.

"HELP!" He hollered, and received another blow to the face.

"Take it back!" James demanded again.

"No!" Jack refused, struggling beneath the senior. "You're gay James! Its not my fault! Its YOUR fault. You're a goddamn fairy and you know it! And you need to stop lying, because I see it on your face. You're dying inside, and I know it..."

James held the angry look, his face twisted beyond recognition, but Jack saw something in his eyes fall away... he knew, and he was thinking about it now. Jack had the upper hand now. James was frozen in shock and humiliation.

Was he really figuring it out? Or was he so pissed that he couldn't move? Jack couldn't tell. He made a few pained sounds, still pinned by the larger boy, and hardened the look on his face.

"Let me go." Jack said breathlessly, and he wriggled around. "Let me go!"

James gave strangled cry, and slammed Jack into the ground one last time before releasing him. Looking down at the younger boy, the red headed senior backed away, shaking his head.

"You're wrong! You're fucking wrong!" And he was out of the gym in a flash.

Jack groaned and rolled onto his side. He laid there, recovering from the ordeal. His mind was a whirl, he couldn't determine where he was hurting and where he wasn't. With much effort, he stood up and staggered over to the stairs that ran up through the bleachers, back to the locker room. He stifled a whining sound and lifted his feet to climb to the top and gather his things.

Once he had ascended and ambled through the door to the locker room, he took a quick glance at the mirror. Quickly he covered his mouth, appalled at the sight that greeted him. His nose was bleeding and he was already sporting a nasty bruise near his right eye.

"That fucking asshole! I hope he gets whats coming to him!" He hissed aloud, and bent down to collect the sheets of paper torn from his notebook. Once they were all together, he looked down at them, and with a resigned sigh he stuffed them into a neighboring trashcan.

Still feeling woozy, Jack lifted his backpack from the ground and shuffled over towards the exit. Thankfully, everyone seemed to have gone home. There were no students roaming the halls at the moment. Jack made his way down the corridor, supporting himself on the lockers as he passed. He had barely managed to make it halfway down when a gust of dizziness hit him full force.

'I hope he didn't shake my brain!' Jack thought with a touch of fear. He truly hoped he wasn't seriously injured. He didn't want anymore attention, and he definitely didn't want his mother getting involved.

Pausing mid-step, Jack closed his eyes. It felt like the hallway was spinning. He took a couple more steps towards the door, halting and gathering more strength, and then moving foward again. 'At this rate, I'll reach the house by midnight!'

Reaching for the doorhandle, Jack walked out into the cold. He shuddered as the wind twisted its way past him, causing the pain in his head to augment. He walked down the steps and onto the sidewalk, and halted once more and he lost his ground.

He staggered foward onto the grass and swayed uncertainly beside a bench. He fell foward and gasped aloud, feeling everything going black.... he looked up, catching a glimpse of the gray clouds before closing his eyes.

* * *

Will dialed Jack's house one more time, waiting patiently for an answer. Once again the answering machine picked up his call. He hung up the phone and let out a sigh.

"Where could he be?" he thought aloud. A slight pang of worry hit him before Rob came in through the door.

"Hey Will."

"Hi Rob." Will looked up at his friend and stifled a laugh. There was smeared red lipstick all over his friend's mouth. "Did Ellen corner you again?" He asked playfully and laughed as Rob grimaced at his reflection.

"I saw your ex-girlfriend today." Rob said after he'd completed wiping his face.

"Really." Will tried not to look so nervous at this point. Thinking about Grace made him feel so guilty. "How is she?"

"I don't know. She looks okay. Ellen talks to her all the time, but she's never said anything to me." Rob shrugged.

"Oh." They were quiet for a little while.

"You should talk to her."

"I probably should..."

"But you won't."

"I don't know Rob." Will stood up. "Listen, I got a class in half an hour. I'll see you later."

Will left quickly, stressing over Grace, Jack and the midterm exam scheduled.


	15. Chapter 15

* * *

Someday My Prince Will Come

Chapter 15

* * *

"Hey! I think he's coming around!"

A worried voice, who's was it?

"Oh my god, poor Jackie!"

Frank. Jack felt heavy with relief as he realized where he was; on a couch in Frank and Noah's apartment. He didn't dare open his eyes right away, for he was sure that would lead to a headache, considering how bright Frank kept his apartment.

"Frank?" he murmured and managed to squint up at his friend. "How did I get here?"

"You don't talk, your jaw looks pretty bad. Ugh." He uttered a sound of disgust and Jack felt something cool being rubbed along his lower lip and down his jawline. He sensed someone else in the room.

"Noah?" Jack tried sitting up, but felt Frank push him back down and scold him in a motherly manner.

"Didn't Frank just tell you not to talk?" Noah snapped. His voice sounded weird to Jack. Unsure of what to make of it, Jack watched as Frank went into the bathroom. He returned with alcohol and peroxide.

"What happened Frank?" Jack asked.

"I should be asking you that question!" the redhead uttered, dampening a cotton swab with rubbing alcohol. He applied it to Jack's lip.

"Ow!"

"Sorry. I don't have that much peroxide left, and I want to use that on your forehead." he replied clinically and did just what he said he would. Jack sighed and shifted to get more comfortable. He eyed Noah curiously, who was puffing away at his cigarette, looking tense and uncomfortable, his eyes directed away from Jack.

After a short while of silence, Frank finished up, sat back and smiled. "Oh Jack, Im glad nothing's broken."

"How would you know?" Noah muttered. "We should have taken him to a hospital."

"Oh be quiet. You don't know anything!" Frank put all the dirty swabs together, with a look of distaste, and stuffed them into the wastebasket nearby. "Noah was driving past your school when he saw you lying next to the bench by the front doors!"

"How? Oh god!" Jack brought a hand to his face in embarrassment.

"You were pretty heavy, but I got you here didn't I?" Noah asked angrily, as if he were being accused of doing something wrong.

"Yeah, thanks..." Jack muttered, still brimming with shame. They were quiet for a little while, very reluctant to talk about what had been the cause of all this.

"I think I have an idea of what took place before Noah found you... but if you want to talk about it... you needn't feel ashamed, you know."

"Its okay. Really." Jack managed a wan smile and took Frank's hand in his own. "Thanks. Im glad it was you I woke up to see." He giggled as Frank rolled his eyes.

"Listen, Im going to pick up something to eat. Anything you'd like, in particular?" The older boy threw his jacket on. Jack shook his head. "Noah?"

"Nah, anything would be fine." The blonde put out his cigarette and reached into his pocket for another one. As soon as Frank left, Jack turned his attention to Noah, whose profile was rigid with something akin to discomfort.

"I saw Will the other day." Noah attempted, still battling with something. Jack quirked an eyebrow, regretting it once he did so; the cut above his brow still stung like hell!

"And?"

"I don't know. I guess you did a good job with him and all, though he's still as bad as he was when he was hiding."

"I don't know what you mean."

"He still needs your help. Although you've hardly any experience yourself, he's hopeless without your guidance."

Jack couldn't help but smile at that comment. That was the closest thing to a compliment he ever received from Noah. As if embarrassed by this admission, Noah rose and walked over to the window, away from Jack's smile.

"You look like crap by the way." murmured Noah.

"Thanks, I feel like crap!" Jack answered dryly, and swung his legs over the side of the couch. They were silent a short moment. "Why were you driving by my school anyway?"

Noah froze briefly, taking his time when removing his cigarette. "Frank and I wanted to know if you wanted to go out to eat with us, he has someone he wants you to meet... "

"Oh... well I guess that's always a good thing. I guess I cant meet this guy now, looking like this!" Jack laughed bitterly, fighting back the tears forming in his eyes, and the ache in his throat.

"It doesn't matter-" Noah stopped talking as he saw Jack crying. Something about this bothered him, and he wanted to scream at Jack for some reason, tell him not to be so weak. Noah had been and seen worse things than this boy in front of him. 'Jack! I've seen what you're scared of! I know all about it! Why are you letting these feelings take over you!' Quickly, Noah calmed his irritation down, almost panicking as a sob broke from Jack's lips.

"Jack..."

"No, Im fine. Its just, I just, need..."

"What? What is it?" Noah kept his distance, still very reluctant to touch Jack at this moment.

"I miss Will so much. I was such an ass the last time I saw him. He was all by himself and I just laughed and walked past him with my friend, Jesse, and he probably hates me! And I-"

"Hey. Calm down... " Noah said, almost soothingly, and he crouched down in front of Jack. By this time, the boy was nearly hyperventilating. "Its not like he was yours or anything. You two were just friends, Jack. You can still fix things..."

"I wanted him to be mine!" Jack gritted out fervently.

"He still can be. But you've really got to know what you're doing Jack... how do you plan to make him yours, if you've know idea, what you're doing? He'll see someone just as confused and afraid as he is! Who would want to depend on someone like that?"

Jack listened, not wanting to understand this man's meaning. His eyes, still glittering with tears, fell to Noah's cigarette as he spoke.

"You can't go on like this Jack. You can't keep running away from these things. You must confront them now, before they get you, when you aren't prepared." Noah let out an exasperated sigh, suddenly very angry with himself and his inability of expressing to Jack, exactly what he wanted to say. "We don't have much time, do what you can Jack, while you can... that's all Im saying."

Noah hurriedly jumped to his feet, feeling very strange and emotional all of a sudden. Jack stayed quiet, not moving, and still not truly comprehending what the blonde had meant. But as he sat there, a gust of realization hit him. This person cared about him, and wanted to teach him something just now...

"Thank you, Noah." Jack said softly, meaning it. His friend nodded, trying to ignore the strange feeling in his chest as he stared out the window.

"Listen, I gotta go make a phone call... I'll be right back." Noah went into the bedroom.

* * *

Jack decided to stay for the night. Or rather he gave in to Frank's fussing and worrying. Leaving a message for his mother on the answering machine, informing her of his location, he watched his older friends as they prepared dinner and set up the sofa bed for him. It was a bit unnerving for Jack, seeing the usually aloof Noah so concerned and genial with him. There were hardly any sarcastic or acerbic remarks exchanged between them. In fact both men were extremely watchful over Jack that night. They hovered around him, like two satellites, dutifully taking shifts on keeping him company.

"Don't you two have classes tonight?" he asked, a bit self-consciously.

"Oh no. Not for me. Its Friday." Frank said. "Noah, don't you?"

"No. Not anymore."

"See, we're staying right here!" Frank smiled brightly.

"You want some hot chocolate Jack?" Noah asked suddenly. Jack's eyes widened in surprise.

"Uh, sure."

"He makes a killer cup of hot chocolate!" exclaimed Frank. "Unfortunately, it's the only thing he's capable of making!"

"Ha, ha." Droned Noah. "But it is true." He set to preparing the hot chocolate. Jack watched him mildly, not truly believing that this was the same young man who had been infuriating, and mocking him for the past couple of months.

Frank eyed him curiously. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing. Just thinking how cruddy everything got, in such a short time." he replied miserably.

"Yes, well, its crappy now, you make it through, and when you meet something worse, you wonder how you possibly could have ever complained about the first problem!"

"Stupid closet cases!" Jack hissed as he accidentally brushed his hand against a bruise. "I hate them all!"

"Oh Jack, calm down. What about Will? He was once like that. I was once like that."

"I've known since forever, why is everyone else so stupid?" he demanded in exasperation.

"Don't be so arrogant Jack." Noah uttered from the kitchen. He returned to the living area with three mugs of hot chocolate on a tray. Jack took a mug with a small nod of thanks and let the sweet aroma float up to warm his face. He glanced down at the brown liquid.

"This is so fattening." he said flatly.

"Just drink it." Frank scolded. They nursed their drinks in silence, keeping their eyes averted.

"Maybe I am being a little weird..." Jack murmured absently. "Im just very angry still. At Will, at James, at everyone."

"James? Did he do this?" Frank asked gently.

"I can't wait to see how he comes to school next week. He'll either be pissed or scared and nervous as hell."

"What would he be scared of?" Noah asked.

"I don't know. I told him I knew he was gay and he freaked out and ran off." Jack sipped at the chocolate, and smiled. "Biggest reaction I've gotten out of him yet!"

"That's a little sadistic Jack!" Frank said in a bit of shock.

"So what! He's the monster. And I hope he gets what he deserves! I hope the pain eats at him until he implodes on himself! I hope all his friends find out, and I hope his parents find out, and I hope everyone he looks at will know, and tell him that they know!"

"Do you feel that way about Will?"

"No! Of course not!" Jack bristled. "Will is different. Will is kind and beautiful and not an angry, disgusting sicko like James! Will was pathetic. But he dealt with everything himself. He didn't pin his pain on anyone else... Im so proud of him." Jack allowed a dreamy smile to grace his features. "You know he has the nicest hair? So fine and thick... I hope it stays that way. Im worried he'll go bald before he's forty!"

Noah and Frank exchanged glances.

"Why aren't you talking to him again?" Frank asked. Jack moaned in despair and put his mug on the coffee table.

"He's just so stupid! And so am I. And you're right Noah; I don't know what Im doing!" He fell back on the sofa dramatically, draping an arm across his eyes.

"Oh Jack, just call him!"

"No, he hates me! He hates me!" He thrashed about like an angry child. "I'll never be happy again!"

Noah rolled his eyes, some of his former sarcastic persona returning to him. "Jack, must you do that? Whining like that makes me want to smack you across the face!" All he received was a sigh from Jack, who truly began to feel the pain of what happened that day, falling on him. Despite having his older friends there, supporting him, his need for Will's friendship superceded that.

"Jack, I'll call Will for you! It'll make things better!" Frank said cheerfully and reached for the phone.

"No!" Jack exclaimed, sitting up at once to stop his friend. "Don't do that! I'll call him."

"Promise?"

"I promise. I'll call him on Monday after school. He usually spends his weekends with his mother, so I'll have to wait til then." said Jack, and smiled softly at the thought of talking to his friend again.

"All right. Well, Im feeling tired Jackie." Frank said and cleared away the dishes they had been using. "If you need anything, I'll be right in my room. Don't worry All right?"

Jack nodded and watched his friend disappear into the bedroom. Noah fidgeted for a couple of seconds before he rose and prepared for bed.

"Don't go Noah. Just stay with me... " pleaded Jack, who began shaking with an inexplicable sense of loneliness. He looked up at the older man, hoping by hearing his words, or by feeling his presence; he could understand what to do, and how to make something of his growing love for Will.

Noah hesitated a moment, before something fell away in his eyes, and he took a seat in his favorite armchair. Nervously he fiddled with a pack of cigarettes, and gazed at the white wall some distance from him. His eyes refused to return to the troubled young man on the sofa, who understood so little and yet wanted so much.

"Noah. What do you think I should do? About Will? Should I just tell him how I feel and hope for the best, or should I wait until Im more 'experienced' like you say?"

Noah sighed, and lit up another stick as he thought, "You can't wait for Will, who knows even less than you do about what to do. Do you really expect him to be grateful to someone like you, who has never even truly understood what it means to be one of us?" It came out harsher than he intended it to be, and Jack was stilled into silence. After a meaningful pause, Noah added, "You've been trying to 'educate' him when this whole time, you knew nothing. Jack, neither you nor Will is prepared for anything. You can't teach him anything about loving a man, unless you know yourself."

"I know plenty!" Jack whispered fervently, and scowled defiantly. "I may not know every single dark thing about living and being like this, but I know about living like I want to, about enjoying what's important to me. And if that means ignoring all the other bad stuff, all the 'real and serious' things you're talking about, well I don't really care!"

"Jack." Noah hissed with sudden fervor, "I can help you if you want."

"What do you mean?" Jack frowned in confusion.

"What to give to Will, I can help you with that." Noah said, his confidence returning as he took a long drag.

"How?" Jack questioned skeptically.

"I can show you." Noah's eyes met Jack's. The blonde crushed his cigarette in the ashtray, and he stood, all ready to go to sleep. Jack shook his head in agitation and he fell back against the pillows of the sofa.

"Just think about it." Noah said with a touch of finality, before his door closed shut behind him.

Jack remained in Frank and Noah's apartment, enjoying their company. The time spent there was uneventful, save the random and unexpected fits of aggravation Jack expressed when Noah's strange behavior wore on his nerves. He slept on the sofa, even during the day, just reading magazines or writing in his new journal that replaced the other one. He dreaded going to school on Monday, but felt it was just one more week until Spring Break. Hopefully he would be able to spend that break with Will.

He looked forward to phoning his friend, and wondered just how he would regain his friendship. Would things be the same?

* * *

Jack began his week at school, remaining out of sight and away from his enemies. He was weary and angry enough to lash out physically, if they provoked him. But surprisingly no one really bothered him, and James seemed to be missing in action. He hadn't shown up for school at all. Not that Jack truly cared for his welfare; but he was curious as to why the senior was not attending school.

For a boy who had just recovered from the harshest altercation of his life, Jack carried himself with a pride and strength that no one else in his position could have dared to emulate. He felt nothing but contempt for those around him; almost an arrogance at being part of something that these fools were not. He was fully prepared to confront his former aggressor, should he show up. And he was ready to remind James of the condition he was in, the condition they shared, and how he came to know about it.

After school that Monday, Jack raced home, a nervous smile on his face. He darted in through the door and went up to his room to call Will. He opened his door and shrieked madly as he bumped straight into someone.

"Jesse! What the hell are you doing in here?!" He asked, more frightened than angry. Jesse just gave a sweet smile and sat down on the bed.

"I was waiting for you. You didn't call me all weekend, I was worried, and you weren't here when I came by. You really scared me, I thought you had gone missing!"

"Jeez, calm down. As you can see I am perfectly fine."

"What's this?" Jesse asked, addressing the bruise below Jack's right eye.

"Oh nothing. Just school. You don't have to worry. Im fine now!" Jack said hurriedly, almost angrily. He really wanted to call Will, and this man was distracting him! "Listen I have a phone call to make, so I think you should go now. Thanks for dropping by... even if it was a little creepy that you were in here!" He guided Jesse out of his room by the elbow, and gestured to the stairs. "I'll see you later okay?"

"You swear it?" Jesse's face lit up. He really is good looking, Jack thought absently.

"Yea sure!" Jack said quickly, and gave Jesse a quick hug to humor his pushy friend. He spied Jesse fiddling with something in the deep pocket of his coat, but he thought on it no more.

"You really are a sweet thing Jack." Jesse said and kissed Jack on the mouth before retreating down the stairs.

Jack sighed and rolled his eyes. He plopped down on his bed and took the phone in hand. He dialed quickly, praying silently that his friend was there. It rang several times before Rob answered.

"Hello?"

"Hello there. Is Will in?" He asked brightly and played with the cotton on his blanket.

"Uh, not at the- oh wait he just walked in... Will its for you." Jack heard shuffling and movement.

"Hello?"

Jack felt his heart wrench at the sound of his friend's voice. He hadn't realized just how much he loved him until he heard him speak.

"Hello? Is anyone there?" Came the voice again. Jack started and cleared his throat.

"Hi Will, its me Jack."

"Jack!" a strange sigh. "I've been calling you all weekend."

"You have?"

"Yea. I wanted to know if you wanted to go somewhere."

"Oh." Jack let out a shaky sigh. "I've really missed you."

"I know. Me too. Im so sorry for what happened at my grandmother's cabin. I've just been very stupid and paranoid lately. I wasn't being a very good friend."

"Oh its All right. And Im sorry for snubbing you at the coffee shop that time I saw you. I was being paranoid and stupid too. Next time, I'll just insult you straight out!" Jack laughed, and felt relieved to hear Will chuckling on the other end.

"Listen, since Spring Break is next week, I was hoping we could do something!"

"Oh for sure! Anything to get as far away from my school as possible."

"Why? Are things still really bad?"

"Oh they reached a new height, but I think its been taken care of. Im not concerned about it anymore. Not anymore." Jack smiled, relishing the sound of Will's voice as he began speaking again.

"Well, I was thinking we could just go crazy and party or something, but then, Im really not that type of guy. And then I was thinking we could go to the countryside, but that would be too boring. So Im not truly sure what to do... as long as its not too crazy or too boring." Will laughed nervously.

"Well, we still have THIS week to plan, so we shouldn't get ahead of ourselves."

"All right then. Well I'll call you later okay? I have a class starting in an hour with one hell of a mid-term waiting for me!"

"Okay then. Love ya, kisses!!" Jack's smile reached his eyes.

"Bye!"

Hanging up the phone, Jack jumped up for joy and began hopping about the room, a few happy little noises escaping him as he did so. "Yay! Yay! Yay!" Sighing, he fell back on his bed and promptly fell asleep.

* * *

By Friday Jack and Will had made their Spring Break plans. Jack smiled to himself, happily awaiting the school day to end. He had just returned to the locker room from gym class, and began changing into his normal clothes. He was slower than usual as he noticed that most of the students had gone home by the time he was finished. He smiled at his reflection and toyed with his hair. The cuts and bruises had cleared for the most part and he no longer felt so low. He caught the image of James behind him.

Jack spun around so quickly, it startled the older boy and caused him to step back. Glaring at his nemesis, Jack thought about what this boy could possibly want now. He hadn't shown up all week for school, and he looked awful. Scanning his enemy with his eyes, Jack let out a sigh; James was a mess, he was nervous and unsure. Jack definitely had the advantage now. "What? What is it? You going to throw another trash can at me, hoping that'll make everything better for you?"

"No, I-"

"Have you come to make sure I pay for what I said to you? It wont help you any. It wont make it untrue."

"I wanted to say, Im sorry."

Jack hadn't been expecting that! But he discarded this boy's apology at once. "No. Get away, you have nothing, you are nothing. You gross me out and you're a mess."

"Please. I need your help..."

"I have no help to give you."

"Yes, I know you can help me. Please." James certainly seemed sincere now. Jack looked him over once more. Something inside him told him to tell this boy something. But something else, something greater and angrier told him to let this kid suffer on his own. He was after all, his enemy and not his friend, not his problem. He had gone out of his way to make Jack pay for his own problem, for his own selfish denial of what was real and what was the truth! Jack was filled with a sudden, violent hatred for this stupid oaf for even daring to approach him after such disgusting behavior.

"No. You are alone. I don't care about you at all." Jack shook off the boy's insistent hand, clinging to his arm. "I hate you, and I hope no one feels sorry for you, ever!" Jack walked off, seething, but restraining himself.

"Wait!" James cried out, almost too dramatically for Jack to bear.

"You know, I once felt sorry for you. But nothing can help you now. You've fucked up on your own. Leave me alone. Never talk to me again, or I'll tell everyone, everything that you are afraid to tell yourself!" Jack spat out the words with more venom than he'd ever thought he was capable of. He deserted the troubled young man, and walked off, feeling somewhat proud, and somewhat ashamed for such a way to treat someone.

He shook it off, and remembered he had a great Spring Break with Will to think about. And he smiled.

* * *

(Note: I am truly and deeply sorry for the disgustingly long delay. I promise to complete this story before Christmas. Please forgive me. I have had personal problems, and I know that is still unfair, and I have been distracted.) 


	16. Chapter 16

* * *

Someday My Prince Will Come

Chapter 16

* * *

_Its strange having Will with me again, and yet oh so cool! Im sure I act stupid around him now. All that time apart, and I realized how crazy about him I was. Every time I think about him now, I cant help but smile. I feel so stupid! I hope he doesn't know. I really really hope he stays stupid and innocent, until Im sure I want to tell him. Noah says Im an idiot for acting like a schoolboy... and I had to remind him that was still a schoolboy. Hello! Although, I wish I were out of high school already! God that would be great, to just romp around on my own!_

_Will and I spent the first half of Spring Break together. Everything went so great, it was like we hadn't had an argument at all! We went to the beach, a bit up north. The water wasn't too warm! I told him I wanted to go to Virginia or something. It's not that far! After all we ARE on Spring Break! Oh well. At least we'll be in the city for Frank's birthday party._

* * *

Will looked as if he wanted to dart out the front door. It was the first time he met Frank, and he didn't know anyone except for Jack. Noah; he didn't consider him a friend at all! In fact, Will decided he rather disliked Noah, for what reason? he couldn't decide. There was something sinister about him, and so Will kept his distance. He hovered near the door that led to the balcony of Frank's apartment, eyeing the group of young men that came to the little party. Will liked Frank, who preferred small gatherings, just like him. He watched the redhead entertaining his guests, and wondered if he should go talk to him.

"Here you go!" Jack chirped returning to his side with some drinks. He handed a coke to Will.

"Coke?" Will lifted an eyebrow.

"Yea, they're out of diet." Jack remarked with a grimace. "But it's a party so, I guess we can afford to have something sweeter!"

"I guess so." replied Will, still watching Frank. Jack watched Will, and frowned. Just then, Noah came up to them.

"Enjoying yourselves?" he asked with a smile. Will looked up at him once, and managed a small grunt.

"Yes we are!" said Jack, and moved in between the two, shielding Will from Noah. "And how are you Noah? Bring any hotties here tonight?"

"No, no." Noah said, looking amused all of a sudden. He watched Will for a couple of seconds and then turned back to Jack. "Did you?"

"Hey!" Frank exclaimed, preventing Jack from replying. "How come you aren't over here with the rest of us?!" he asked, his eyes shifting from Will to Jack, to Noah.

"I was over there!" Jack said, defensively.

"So what did you guys bring me?"

"I put my present on the table." Jack gestured to the table full of boxes and bags.

"And you?" He turned to Noah.

"Don't push your luck!" Noah said, walking away.

"Ugh, what a mean guy! No present for me? Im turning 22 for Christ's sake!" he shook his head, and looked at Will. "What about you? Did you bring me anything?" He asked playfully.

"Uh, no, sorry." Will stammered, almost shyly. His gaze shifted down to his cup of Coke, and he nearly blushed. Jack could sense something in the air, and he didn't like it. The three of them were silent for a moment.

"Well, I'll be over here, where people actually speak!" Frank said, apparently appalled at the behavior of his guests. As soon as he was out of range, Will let out a sigh. Jack looked at him in surprise.

"What's wrong?" He asked.

"Nothing." he said softly. "Is Frank, you know... "

"I think he has a boyfriend." Jack lied.

"Oh. That's too bad."

"Yes it is." Jack said, with a touch of regret in his voice.

"I hope we won't be playing any weird games at this party." said Will, with a look of dread on his face.

"Don't worry. All of Frank's friends are very civilized."

"Except for you."

After Frank opened the presents, and the cake was served, the party calmed even more so and people began to leave. Jack talked with Noah, while Will sulked on the balcony, on his fifth Coke. He felt so out of place, so lonely. Why couldn't he blend in with these people? These were the mellowest, and most worldly people ever! And yet, he felt so silly among them, feeling whenever he attempted conversation, that they were considering either tolerating him or just ignoring him.

He watched as a couple walked, arm in arm, down the street, to the bus stop. They both seemed to be in their own world, and yet comfortable in their companionship. Will wondered if they really felt anything for each other; if they truly believed they could love or care for one another. While, he was still in search of someone to care about, Will didn't really think he had the capability of loving another man. It was a notion he could not utter to Jack, for he knew his friend would refute every doubt he held.

"This is stupid. What am I doing? I should not be so scared. I've been out for half a year now, Im free and I should be excited about finding someone. I should be excited about everything open to me now! Why isn't it like it should be?!" He asked himself and sighed heavily. He stood up and turned away from the balcony. Jack began to make his way toward him.

"Sorry for leaving you. Noah bugs I know!" He smiled gently, noticing the sad look on Will's face. "You wanna get out of here?"

"Uh, yea. I think I'll go home, now."

"Really?" Jack frowned in disappointment, but nodded and guided Will through the apartment, and to the front door. He stopped briefly to say goodbye to Noah and Frank, before leaving. The two descended the stairs, one lost in thought, the other watching closely.

"I can't believe Spring Break is already over!" Jack whined, his eyes turned upward, to the stars. "Then it's back to the same old thing, with the same old stupid people!"

"Its only several more weeks Jack. And then we'll have the whole summer."

"But then summer will be over, and we'll be back in school again!"

"Well, we've got so much to do during that time."

Jack looked at Will and smiled. 'He's so good looking. I wonder what he really thinks of me...' He sighed and pulled his sweater tighter around himself.

* * *

Jack woke with a small smile and he stretched out across his bed. He had the most pleasant dream. It was quickly forgotten however as he remembered just what day it was. 'Blegh! Monday. I don't want to go to school!' He whined lightly as he rolled off the bed and onto the carpet beside the dresser.

'Back to the same stupid people! I wonder what I should wear.' He fished around the bottom drawer for a pair of socks, and clean pair of underwear. He was confused to find only two pairs.

"Mom?" He called downstairs.

"Yes?"

"Did you do the laundry?"

"Yes!" She shouted back. Jack stared at the drawer, a baffled look on his face.

"Im missing stuff!"

* * *

When Jack stepped into the school hall, everything seemed deathly silent. He wasn't sure if it was due to his arrival or if something had happened. Jack glanced around, curious as to why people were not as boisterous as usual. Students whispered among themselves, looking restless and confused.

'I wonder what's going on.' he thought and caught sight of Vicky walking past him, deep in thought.

"Hey Vicky." He stopped her.

"Oh, hi Jack." she answered, blinking twice at Jack, as if she was seeing him for the first time. She adjusted her bookbag and smiled weakly up at him.

"Why is everyone acting so weird?"

"Didn't you hear?" She frowned in disbelief.

"Hear what?"

"About James Gilmore?"

"What about him?" Jack asked, a dark and heavy feeling descending on him.

"He killed himself last week."

"Wh-what?" Jack breathed out, completely taken by surprise. He nearly lost his balance upon hearing those words. "He what? Are you sure?"

"Yes Jack. They found him in his room, he-"

"No! No! Don't tell me!" Jack put a hand up and leaned against a locker, feeling very faint. It felt like the whole world was trembling. And he was cold. Why was he feeling pained? Why was he even bothered by this? At first there was shock, and then he felt guilt. Guilty! Why?

'What should I be feeling guilty for? He did this to himself!' Jack shuddered involuntarily. All the whining, all the hatred he felt towards James felt so pointless! So irrelevant! 'Why did he do this? Why would he do such a thing?' Jack felt the sting of tears in his eyes and he almost wanted to shove Vicky for telling him this. He wanted to run out of the school and scream at everyone who crossed his path. He wanted to tell them it wasn't true; that James hadn't done such a stupid thing, and that he was coming to school, and he was going to be his usual pain-in-the-ass self again.

"Jack? Are you okay?" she asked with concern. "Did you know James or something?"

"No. No I didn't." He looked around aimlessly for a few seconds, before retreating into the boys restroom. Quickly, he went into a stall, stifling the sobs that threatened to come about. A wave of nausea fell over him, and he kept demanding; 'Why? Why?'

'This doesn't make sense! He was not supposed to go and do this! Who does he think he is? The selfish prick! That stupid bastard!' He rocked back and forth, burying his face in his bookbag.

"...bastard!" He murmured, suddenly furious with James and his cowardice. 'Who would go and do this anyway? Just because... '

Jack stilled. "no, no its not my fault." He whispered fervently. 'Its not! He was the one who did this to himself!'

'Its his own fault!' Jack ran out of the bathroom, down the hall, back to the exit. A cold fear was spreading through him, and he felt if he didn't get out of there soon, all those curious and wondering people will begin questioning him. He sped across the park, trampling over the bed of flowers and stumbling over the wet blades of grass beneath him. 'Its all his fault!' he shook his head furiously, hoping to clear it of any guilt.

He collapsed in the entrance to his house, and let out a shaky breath. "Its not my fault. I didn't do anything." he told himself.

'And that's precisely why this happened. You didn't do anything that could have prevented this.'

'He was not my responsibility! I can't be feeling sorry for someone who was such a cruel person! for someone who made my life a living hell for the past several months!'

'You knew what he was going through. And you laughed to yourself, happy that he was suffering. You were happy he was in so much pain.'

'I was in much more pain! I couldn't help him, when he was everything I hated!' he moaned aloud and once again buried his face in the cloth of his bookbag. "I hate him..." he cried. Just then all self reproach was interrupted by a worried voice.

"Jack? What's the matter, are you sick?"

Jack looked up at his mother, whimpering pitifully and nodding his head. She closed the door and crouched beside him.

"Come on, I'll make you something warm to eat." She took his hand and led him to the sofa in the TV room. As she went into the kitchen, Jack numbly kicked off his shoes, and removed his jacket. He wriggled around on the couch, burring into the cushions and attempting to get comfortable. But he felt nothing could possibly give him any solace. The pain and anger was consuming him. He laid there staring at the blank television screen.

'What if he had dreams?'

'Just like yours?'

'What if he had really cared about someone? About that girl? Like the way Will cared about Grace?'

'What if he was just as scared as Will was?'

As his mother returned, Jack sat up slightly. He watched her place the tray of food on coffee table in front of the sofa. She smiled thinly at him, before grabbing her coat.

"Im going to work now Jack. If you need anything just call me alright?"

Jack watched the steam rise from his bowl of oatmeal. He remained still for how long, he couldn't tell. But after a while, he did notice there was no longer steam coming from the bowl. He shuddered once again, curling up on the cushions once more.

Sleep claimed him after a long while of thinking and dreading. He slept a thick and dreamless sleep, that lasted until midday. But he awoke suddenly and in an icy panic; as if someone had hurled a bucket of water on him. His eyes moved to the clock and he wondered why he was choosing to be so alone. It would have been smart to call Frank or Will, or his mother, even. But what if they laid blame on him? What if they discovered how truly guilty he was? He shivered and stood up.

"What am I supposed to do now?" he asked the silent room. "What am I going to do?"

How could he return to school? To all those people who in some way or another, cared about James, cared about who he spoke to and who he befriended before this happened? What if they suspected him? He sat down heavily in an armchair, almost reliving everything he had gone through regarding James. He seemed so tough, so angry, so full of himself, Jack would never have believed he would take such action to rid himself of the shame and denial that came with who he was... or who he didn't want to be.

"This isn't my fault." Jack said, this time believing it. He was determined to convince himself of this. But for now, it was still much too difficult to fathom.

* * *

_Yesterday the school held a memorial service for James. I didn't go of course. Its been five days since I found out what happened, and Im still not sure whether I should be sad or not. I shouldn't care at all. I shouldn't feel anything. But I do. I feel mostly angry. I mean I didn't even know James! All I knew was that he hated me, and that he hated himself! How could I cry for someone who did what he did? I shouldn't be crying! But why have I been doing it?_

_I haven't told anyone about it. Not Will, not Noah, no one. If I told them, they would know everything. I need to be by myself, or they would notice something wrong. And I don't want Will worrying over me._


	17. Chapter 17

* * *

Someday My Prince Will Come

Chapter 17

* * *

The summer sun beat down on Will's back. Well, it wasn't summer yet, according to the calendar, but it was June, and the heat spoke for itself. Summers in New York could be most brutal. With the buildings so imposing and dreary looking, one would wonder why they were spending their summer in such a place.

Will meandered about, not exactly sure what he was looking for. After all, it wasn't too difficult to go shopping for a birthday present, for someone as simple as Rob. As much as he wanted to be indoors, something was distracting him, and the only way he felt clear headed, was under the sun and amidst the starkness of the city and its people.

Pausing to think to himself, Will observed the people waiting at the bus stop. It was strange. Whenever he was trapped here, in the streets of this city, he would only think abut his own sufferings and his own misgivings. But when he was alone, perhaps at home, or in the hillside, he contemplated everyone else, and how much pain they must be feeling. 'Ugh, Im getting sick with thinking so much!' he complained to himself and moved along.

As he neared a bookstore, he recognized Frank through the window. Without hesitation he walked inside and felt relieved to see the man alone.

"Hello." he said, a bit nervously. Frank dropped the book he was looking at and smiled brilliantly at Will.

"Well, hello. People complain that this city is so big! I used to agree with them, you know."

"Yes, it's a small-"

"Don't say it!" Frank put a hand up and shook his head. He crossed his arms, a very amused look on his face. "So what are you doing here? Looking for a book, I hope!"

"Ah, well, I was looking for a present for my friend." Will said absently, and squinted at Frank's hair. "Wasn't your hair red?"

"Oh, it was brown, it was red, it was black! If you really knew me you would know that I change everything I can when Im feeling dull." he said lightly, and picked up another book.

"How can you afford so many changes?"

"I get bored easily! And I do as much as I can to rid myself of boredom. There's no worse condition than boredom, believe me!"

"Oh... I believe you." Will said lamely, and coughed.

"You changed your hair as well, I see. Its longer."

"Oh, yeah."

"Its nice."

"Thanks."

"Your head doesn't look so big anymore!" He remarked and laughed. Will felt himself go red with embarrassment, 'No wonder Jack is this guy's friend!' he thought and sighed. 'Maybe this is a bad idea.' He held himself from saying anything more, and walked over to the self-help section. Whenever Frank spoke to him, it was always with a mocking detachment of some sort, like he was silently laughing at everything around him. Will felt stupid for not recognizing this sooner.

He moved to the front of the store, looking at the best-selling titles and considering each one. Frank made his purchase and began to leave.

"You meeting Jack today?" he asked, looking him up and down.

"Uh, no. Actually we're going to the movies tomorrow, why?"

"Oh, I haven't seen him in a while. He's been acting weird."

"Well, he has been a little more quiet lately. But other than that he's been the same."

"Hm." A severe look crossed Frank's face, and for a second Will didn't recognize him. "Well, I'll see you." He uttered as he left, walking out into the sun.

* * *

Jack leaned over the rail to look at his reflection in the puddle of water below the stairs. He waited silently, occasionally hissing and swatting at the insects floating around him. 'Who says mosquitos and gnats only exist in the wilderness?' He was grateful that the bleak days of school were over for the time being. But he also remembered he had to return to his old school, once the fall semester opened. Groaning in impatience, Jack looked up at the night sky.

'Why am I like this? Why am I so fucking scared?'

Jack recalled the latest conversation he'd had with Noah. He'd almost gotten into a heated argument with the blonde, over something he had failed to believe.

"You've been waiting too long Jack. What are you expecting? Surely, you're not serious about waiting for that 'special someone?' That only exists in fairy tales and within the religious confines of straight people."

Jack had refused to listen to anymore of Noah's arguments, and ignored his proposition. It was strange every time Noah asked him, an unreadable emotion would cloud his fierce blue eyes and they would be in silence.

Now, as he stood on the stoop in front of his house, he pondered over just jumping off and running down the street to meet Jesse, or to wait until he drove up. The headlights of the dark sedan interrupted his thoughts. Jack walked down the stairs, sighing, but also looking forward to spending some time with his friend.

He opened the door to Jesse's car and peeked inside.

"Hi Jack. Im glad you finally had time to go out!" Jesse exclaimed, almost irritably. Well, Jack had time, but he had just been formulating excuses. He didn't truly want to be in this man's company. And though he was very good looking and a friend, Jesse was too intense for Jack.

The younger one sat in the car, happy to have someone take his mind off of his frustration. Noah had pissed him off today and he just needed to fill his mind with something else. Jack looked over to Jesse who seemed a bit irked about something. Not really caring, Jack shrugged it off and watched the building pass as they drove.

"Where're we going?" Jack asked eyes alight with curiosity.

"To get something to eat, then, maybe somewhere quiet."

"Quiet." Jack frowned in confusion but rolled his eyes. Jesse really was weird sometimes. Glancing back out the window, Jack's thoughts settled on Will. And then they drifted back to what Noah said. 'Maybe Im waiting for a stupid reason... maybe Im being a stupid idiot.' Jack closed his eyes and tried to quell the pain in his heart whenever he thought about Will. It was making him ill, keeping his feelings so trapped like this.

Jesse drove up next to a fast food restaurant.

"What do you want?" he asked him.

"Ugh." Jack grimaced. "Nothing thank you. Maybe just a diet coke or something."

Jesse returned and they were off. Jesse drove towards the outskirts of the city, where there were many houses. He stopped the car next to a dimly lit park.

"What a weird place to park Jesse! We're in the middle of a neighborhood!" Jack shook his head.

"I live right over there."

"Oh, well, then I guess that's all right. I've never seen your house before."

"So you're saying you want to come to my house."

Jack felt scared all of a sudden. "Uh, sure. But let's just finish our food in here." He sipped nervously at his soft drink and became frantically aware of the darkness.

"We could eat inside my house. That makes more sense doesn't it? Come on."

"No that's fine. I feel much more comfortable in the car." Jack said hurriedly.

"Really? Well then, okay." They were quiet for a while.

"Jesse? Why are you so quiet?" Jack asked, very perturbed with the silence and the location.

"Kiss me Jack." Jesse whispered suddenly, moving in closer to Jack.

"What?!" Jack nearly dropped his drink and stared at his friend in bewilderment.

"Please. Come on. Don't you think we've waited long enough?"

"We've?! What are you talking about?!"

"Jack, I know you want me. I'm the one to give this to you, its meant to be.... "

"Now you're not making sense, get away from me." Jack scowled as Jesse began stroking his arm. "Take me home. That's it, I've had enough of you." Jack placed his drink in the cup holder, and crossed his arms. He expected Jesse to grumble in defeat and start the car, or sigh and begin pleading again, or apologizing and resuming the evening as if nothing happened. He even half expected Jesse to get out of the car for a smoke before starting the car. He did not expect his friend to grab him and force him into a kiss.

Jesse had an iron grip on his upper arms, and was kissing him so hard Jack wondered if his front teeth were still there. He pushed Jesse away and punched him hard on the arm.

"What the hell is your problem? Christ!" Jack wiped at his mouth and cursed some more.

"My problem?! You're the one with the problem!" Jesse shouted, suddenly enraged. His eyes flashed dangerously, and Jack wondered if he should be afraid. But somehow he was more angry than scared. "You're being so fucking frustrating. I don't know how to deal with you!"

"Me? Deal with me? You're supposed to be my friend!"

Jesse let out a dry laugh, and shook his head. "What the fuck are you doing to me Jack? You ask me over, for what? To go out and get a drink? I don't think so."

"So what, you thought I wanted you to-"

"Well, yeah!"

"You are really telling yourself some serious lies Jess." Jack covered his face with a hand.

"No! Its you!" Jesse hissed with a vehemence so fierce that Jack was startled. "What the fuck are you waiting for? You think you're so special! When you aren't! You're just scared, you're just stupid and scared. And I'm sick of you!"

"Fine." Jack said evenly, looking Jesse straight in the eyes. "Fine, you're sick of me. Now will you please get me home before I jab my finger through your eye?" Jack watched him, silently daring him to try anything else.

Jesse cursed and started the car. They were stubbornly silent throughout the rise and Jack couldn't wait to get into his house and sleep this night off. 'Ugh what a nightmare.' Jack shook his head.

Jesse looked at Jack as they drove up to the house. "You really need to think about what I said."

"You made as much sense as a dying monkey tonight. And I think that's exactly what you are."

"Jack." Something evil lingered in Jesse's eyes, even though he spoke softly. "You may think you know everything. Or at least everything you want to know. But not everything you need to know."

"What ever, let me go." Jack shook Jesse's hand off of his arm and stepped out of the car. He watched the sedan disappear around the corner.

"What a frickin' weirdo." Jack said with disgust. He retreated into the house, glad that tomorrow he would be spending the day with Will.

But even as he attempted at ignoring what Jesse had told him. He couldn't help but feeling if everyone thought that way... was he really too scared of everything?

'What's wrong with me?' he whined and shut the door behind him.

* * *


	18. Chapter 18

(Okay sorry, miss thang, for not submitting on time! Im never punctual dammit! And I never fulfill my promises!)

* * *

Someday My Prince Will Come

Chapter 18

* * *

It was midsummer already, and Jack felt utterly depressed and trapped for some reason. His mother was not that strict, he could come and go as he pleased, and yet he felt confined. A small sense of fear crept up on him, every time he saw Noah or Will. What power did Noah have over him, anyway? He was aware of the older man's fascination with him, but he did not think it should be bothering him as much as it was.

Jack was still considering asking Noah for advice on overcoming his fears, and seizing what he desperately wanted . . . and that was Will. He wondered if telling Will his feelings was a good idea, if he was really ready or grown up enough to offer Will anything.

At times Jack grew angry with himself, and wondered if he should be out there with all the other guys, just partying like crazy, no thoughts of love, or devotion, that according to Noah only existed in the heterosexual world.

"You are too idealistic Jack. All these excuses you have for waiting, for not going out there and getting what you want, they have nothing to do with you. You're just afraid, flat out. And you know, that things aren't what you want them to be." He had said not too long ago.

Jack knew he was right, but was still reluctant to go through with what Noah was asking of him.

Now, as Will walked beside him, the fear was mounting. An inexplicable feeling that plagued him with each passing day, weighed on him, making him feel as if he was waiting too long, as if he was running out of time. They stopped to buy some ice cream, both not caring about the nutritional value, or lack of it. The day was much too hot to be worrying over something like that.

"Jack. When was the last boyfriend you had?" Will asked suddenly. Jack froze in step, and scowled at him.

"What do you mean?"

"I mean, well I've seen you talk to and hang out with guys in clubs and at parties but I've never actually seen you with anyone you actually cared about. I know I shouldn't be asking such a question. I mean you're still young, and so am I. But I was wondering if you've ever actually, you know, _felt_ anything for anyone. Felt anything real."

Jack stared at his friend, wondering if he should tell him what he had been feeling this whole time. That ever since he met him, he wanted to be near him all the time, that he wanted to protect him and help him through so many things, that he himself didn't truly understand. He could just picture a magic moment, Will returning his feelings, the both of them undeniably confused and afraid, but it would be okay, because they were together and they would fight all the bad stuff, side by side. Jack smiled, a strange feeling erupting in his chest.

"I have felt that way. I have, and I still do. And not one of the guys you've seen me with, meant anything. Im still waiting. But Im going to make my move soon." He murmured mischievously.

"Really? You really like someone? What are you waiting for?"

"I want to be sure I have everything, and know everything before I tell him."

"Okay. Well that's great." Will grinned and patted Jack on the shoulder. A curious look crossed his features and he hesitated. "What's it like? Feeling something real?"

"It hurts most of the time." Answered Jack, truthfully. "Everything you do around that person makes you mad, because you are always afraid while you do it, you're constantly wondering if he knows, if he feels the same way, if he doesn't, if he's as dense as he was the day you met him."

"Wow." Will shook his head. "That's the most real thing that I've ever heard you say."

"What? I've said some pretty good stuff before." Said Jack, affronted.

"Well, not all at once!" Will smiled and looked down at his ice cream.

* * *

_I've been wondering whether I've been wasting my time, all this time. I mean, I've fooled around, and played around, acted as if I was such a big shot, when really I think Im scared. I don't know if this is a good idea, going to Noah I mean. He said nothing would be weird afterwards, that I should not feel so obligated to do anything for him, after he did this for me. I still don't know if what I do with Noah, will change the way I feel about Will. I don't think it will at all. I mean, I've heard people say that once you go all the way, everything changes, you look at things differently. I mean I notice there's a huge difference between Frank, Noah and Will and I. You can see it so clearly. But Im hoping I stay the same, that I won't look at others as if Im afraid. Will this change me? I mean will it make me as harsh and untrusting as Noah is? Or will it make me crazy, like Jesse? I hope I can be like Will, and I hope none of us change_.

* * *

'What am I doing here?' Jack asked himself, it was starting to look like autumn now. The winds were picking up and the sky was gray and heavy. Feeling tortured and alone, even though he had just left Will's side, Jack shuddered and looked up at the apartment complex.

'I'd better hurry.' He thought. Will had just been talking about a man he had met over the weekend. And that he was unsure of going out with him, but that he really liked him. 'I'd better hurry.' He kept telling himself. But he stayed frozen on the sidewalk. He was in his school uniform, he had started going to his old school a month prior. It didn't make much of a difference however. With James gone, he would not return to that school without remembering, but then he would not have anything to fear anymore. Now that he had returned to his old school, he was reunited with his old enemies, who lied low, but completely ignored him, which was twice as bad as being harassed.

Jack fingered the lapel on his navy blue blazer and sighed, a deep and dark anger was boiling in him, but this was superseded by a sadness that he simply couldn't understand. 'Why am I so scared? I've been waiting too long. Noah is beautiful too, this should not be a problem, but he's not Will. I want to have Will only. I want only Will to be with me. But how can I give anything to Will, if I don't know what Im doing?'

The wind curled around him, almost like a noose, and he shuddered. 'Will...'

"I better hurry..." he said to himself and began walking up to the door. His legs willed themselves to move forward, but his heart was still heavy with reluctance. He marched up the stairs, slower than he should have been, for his book bag only had a few items. For some reason he was praying that Frank would be there, and that he didn't have to do this, that he didn't have to prove himself until another time, when all this fear was gone.

'It'll always be here.' He saw now. No matter what happened, no matter how hard he tried, all those terrible things he tried to distance himself from; they would get to him and they would take over, and he would always have a reason to be afraid.

Jack knocked lightly on the door to the apartment. It took a few moments before Noah's face greeted him.

"Hello Jack. Come by to see Frank, he's not-"

"I know. Im not here to see Frank." he said softly and looked up at his friend's face.

"Oh." said Noah, understanding. "Come in."

Jack stared at him, not fully understanding what to think about this tall blonde person, this man who he hated at first, who he still didn't really fully like, much less trust. He was very good looking, very smart and Jack couldn't see why he would be wasting his time with someone who wasn't out of grade school yet.

"So, what're you doing here?" Noah asked, just to fill up space though, because he already knew what Jack was there for. And he got nervous. He poured himself a drink, and felt the bottle shaking in his hand.

"You told me you could show me. That's what Im here for." Jack said, almost coldly. He was as nervous as hell, his hands sweating, his blue eyes bright with fear. He was fully confident about being able to handle Noah and the situation, he was only afraid of what he would be like afterwards. All these terrible things he was running from, they caught up to him and changed him. Before he knew about the virus, and about the kind of hatred James exhibited, he was different, he was so optimistic, and idealistic, and now he was on the verge of losing all of that....

"Jack. You don't have to be afraid." Noah said, finally turning around to look at him.

"Im not. Im just angry. I can't do anything about it can I?" He asked bitterly.

"No. I don't think so." Noah sighed. "You want something to drink."

"No, Im fine."Jack looked up into Noah's eyes, and for a second he thought he shared the same remorse with him. A fleeting look of sadness rippled in the older man's gaze, and Jack all at once felt glad that Noah himself was not as ruthless and powerful as he acted. That in him, there were also doubts and insecurities...

Noah smiled, a stingy and almost pained smile. His eyes clouded over with something else in that instant, and everything changed.

* * *

I_ was wondering what would happen to me._

_I was wondering why I was waiting so long. Im not some girl, in a religious family that has to wait for marriage. I was just using excuses, because all this time I was afraid, and I knew I would be different once I did this. Once I fully realized what I was, what I had to offer the world. And I see now, I was hoping for nothing. I was dreaming something else's dream. To meet someone? To pledge my undying love, and run away with them? I was bullshitting myself, and those around me. I never knew anything. I was always hiding and complaining._

_But now I know. Now I know what its all about. There's no love, no magic about it._

_I know now, what its like to feel someone else touching and controlling what you feel. I know now how good it feels. How unbelievably good it feels._

_I know what its like to be torn apart from the inside, as if I were being split in half by something so evil and unyielding. I felt what he told me I would feel, and I felt nothing for myself. It was only him. I could see him moving and I could hear him telling me what I wanted to hear; and I could hear myself wailing, and I could feel it all as it happened._

_I saw some blood, and I cried a bit. But he told me that would happen. He knew what I would do even before I did. Is that even fair? Is that even right? How does he know so much?_

_It hurt. Christ it hurt. But then it began to feel so good, and I felt ashamed for feeling so good._

_But now that its over. I realize I've been afraid, and that Im still afraid. This didn't make me braver. It made me so mad I can feel myself getting sick with it._

_I don't want to be told what I feel, what Im supposed to do. The next time this happens, its going to be me and Will. And only me and Will. I won't tell him what to do, I won't hold him down when he gets too nervous, I won't scream at him for not liking it. I'll just watch him and hope he'll know what to feel himself._

_Because I love him. And I want to tell him. And when I do, it will be like I dreamed._

_He is the one I was waiting so long for._

* * *

Jack woke up in a crooked position. He spent the whole night thinking and thinking. He felt like he had been run over by a train, twice. But he stretched a bit, his hair falling into his eyes. The white sheets were twisted around him, he was still naked, but he wasn't cold at all. His eyes focused on the ceiling for a while, until he brought himself to recognize that he was alone. The space beside him was empty. 'Where is he?' He didn't feel like sitting up yet, the lower part of his body was still aching.

Finally he turned on his side, to see Noah sitting in a chair beside the bed. The chair was pointed towards the bed, but Noah was gazing into space, a cold cigarette in his hand. He was shirtless, but had some jeans on. Once he noticed Jack was awake, he reached for his lighter and fired up his cigarette.

"Good morning." he said and took a long drag. He held it in for a moment and then exhaled. loudly.

"Morning?" Jack croaked and glared at Noah. "Was I here so long? It looks like night out there to me."

"Well, yes. Its three in the morning so, technically I must say, good morning."

Jack scratched his upper right arm, and stifled a yawn. He was still very tired, but didn't think he could stand being here any longer.

Noah looked on, seemingly aloof and uninterested. However, inside he really hoped Jack would stay a little longer. He wanted to keep watching him sleep. But another part of him said, to let go of these foolish sentiments and let him go. Its what he wanted anyway. He was in love with someone else after all. What did he care? Noah's expression hardened, and he could feel Jack's scorn for him.

"You put on quite a show last night." Noah said lowly.

"Me? No I think it was you who put on the whole show."

"No, Im serious. I never saw anyone cry so much, for so long." He said acidly, making Jack stiffen. "You should have warned me beforehand."

"Shut up! Shut up right now. All of it was you. It was all your fault!" Jack felt like yanking out his hair. Just looking at Noah was making him crazy. He lied back down fiercely on the bed and clenched his eyes shut. He felt so vulnerable and open, knowing that this person before him, had already seen everything on him, did things to him, showed him the things he needed to know. He had a certain power over him now. And he hated that. He hated him.

"You should clean yourself up." Noah said with a smile. "You probably have homework." He blew smoke up towards the ceiling.

Jack gave him a dark look and curled up on himself. "You should really quit. You have the nastiest breath I've ever tasted."

* * *

'Is this what it has done? Made me angry towards everything?' Jack asked as he furiously got back into his school uniform. He didn't even bother taking a shower. He didn't want to be here a moment longer. He didn't want to see Noah ever again. If that meant not seeing Frank anymore, that was fine. Right now, he didn't even think he liked Frank all that much either.

He gathered his things, and looked one last time at Noah, who sat staring out the window, with an almost sad look on his face.

"Bye Jack." He said softly. Jack left without a word.

"Bye Jack." Noah said again and closed his eyes.

* * *

Jack ran the whole way home. He had angry cars honk at him for crossing without warning, he nearly fell all over himself as he climbed the stairs that led to his house. He paused on the stoop before entering.

Racing up to his bedroom, he shook off his clothing and stuffed them into the dirty clothes hamper. He had barely noticed he was crying again. Rubbing at his face he ran into the bathroom and shut the door.

He knew the person in the mirror, but he didn't want to know him. He was different now.

'Its all fucked up!' He cried mentally and turned on the shower.

The pain was greater than he thought it would be. The hot water covered him, and he hissed as it traveled down his body, reaching the place where the pain was centered. A whimper escaped him but he began scrubbing, hoping all of it would go back to the way it was. That he hadn't been touched in such a way, by someone he didn't want or belong to. By someone who wasn't the one he had been waiting so long for.

"Will." He sobbed.

* * *


	19. Chapter 19

* * *

Someday My Prince Will Come

Chapter 19

* * *

_I_ _was wondering what would happen to me..._

Jack looked up at the sky, preparing himself, even as he walked. Time was on his side wasn't it? Will wasn't seeing anyone. In fact he was very sad about not having someone to care about. And it was almost a year since they met. It was perfect.

The cold was very present, and Jack shivered. But he was aware of himself now. He felt more brash and more certain of his love for Will. He felt the reality of the incoming winter, and he felt the surge of his love as his only warmth. Nothing was more important. Nothing mattered more than Will. He couldn't even think about a possible rejection. He was confident his feelings would be returned, that Will would be overjoyed that his best friend, his guardian would be the one he was looking for... the one he wanted to care for.

Their eyes met briefly at the shoe store, and Jack was never more sure of himself, he gave Will a small smile, and almost shyly turned away.

_I was wondering what would happen to me..._

_...does he see it? _

_Does he know?_

_Or does he see something else?_

_Does he know how different I am now?_

* * *

Jack held himself, cautiously watching as Will browsed through the shelves. They were out shopping for Thanksgiving. The rain was crazy outside, but Jack felt much more hectic inside than the storm beyond the doors to the grocery store. His eyes followed Will's every move.

_Im at his mercy. He's in power here. And this will be the last time anyone will have any power over me. _

_Its all on him._

Jack fidgeted and smiled, trying to be as confident as he felt earlier... he joked and fooled around as usual, hoping Will wasn't as cruel as he pictured him, in his worst nightmares, in the scenarios he imagined, when things would take a turn for the worst. He summoned up him courage and held his breath.

_Its all up to him. Its all him now._

"Jack.... what kind should we get?"

_Its all him now...._

* * *

flashback

"Jack remember in Syracuse, when you said we weren't wrong? That we were made this way?"

"Yea."

"I really, really wonder about that. If God, or whatever, really did make us like this on purpose, or if we're just sick."

"You still wonder? What's to wonder? Its great to be like this. Its good to be happy with what you are, to deal with what we have and enjoy everything! I just want to live and love!" Jack said brightly.

"Do you really believe that? Or did you get that from a book?"

"I didn't get it from a book!"

"Oh that's right, you haven't picked one up since junior high." Will smiled.

"I just hope to live t hat way. I want to be that way."

"Jack. Honestly, do you think there's 'true love' out there for people like us?"

"Of course. Stop asking me that question." Jack was quiet. "Why? Do you think its all blind lust, guys going after each other, without thought or responsibility?"

"Yea." Will laughed.

"Well, most of the time its like that." Jack conceded. "But there is love out there. All those other things are buffers to prepare you for the real pain that,_ that_ feeling will bring you."

Will stared incredulously, shocked that those words fell from his young friend's mouth. His eyes softened in admiration, and he never thought Jack could be like this.

"Now Im sure you got that from a book." Will smiled, but felt something fall away inside him.

* * *

_STUPID! STUPID! STUPID!_

Jack was soaked with rainwater. He could feel his skin going numb beneath his coat. But he kept running. He couldn't tell how long he had been running. All he knew was that he had tripped three times, and bumped into eight different people. The sidewalk was slippery and sticky, and the city never looked so dirty and ugly to him.

_You fucking idiot! _He cursed himself. He thought he should stop running and catch a bus. But he couldn't. He had to will his pain away.

He knew he didn't have a clear mind anymore, that the brashness he thought he had was gone, that he was no longer brave or determined. Jack collided with a woman, and then started running again.

_When did I think he'd ever love me?_

_Why did I ever think anything would go the way I hoped?_

He collapsed on a bench, sprawling himself on it, not concerned with the torrent of water and cold that fell on him. His eyes were shut, and his chest was tight with shame and horror. Never before did he consider ending it all. Never did he think that the world was out to get him until now.

When James was alive, when he was terrorizing him, not even then did he believe the world was so cruel. As long as he had Will, and the prospect of his companionship, everything was okay. And now that his dream had been slaughtered, he wondered who he could blame. Who would be there to explain this to him? He had no one now. Noah. Frank. He had pushed them away these past weeks. He had murdered all hope, and now he was done.

He could feel his young spirit dying, and he hoped he would die as well, alone, and wet on the bench.

* * *

_I was waiting so long...._

_What was I waiting for? _

_The world takes too long._

Jack felt numb all over. The rain had long since ceased. He knew he would be sick in the morning. He knew he could have pneumonia, or be hypothermic, or something. But those things were just footnotes, now that he realized fully what had happened earlier.

He actually confessed his... Jack buried his face in his hands, the shame heavier than the rain soaked coat around him. He could feel his knees trembling, his teeth chattering, and his eyes brimming with fresh tears.

_Why? Why did I wait so long if this is what happened? What was the point? All this hope for nothing? Why?_

Jack stood up and walked down to the bus stop. He remembered how stupidly he covered up his confession. And he knew Will was not convinced. He knew Will was smarter than he was. He knew that Will was probably laughing, or shaking his head in pity. And he felt nauseous. He whined in shame once more.

The sky was darker than he'd ever seen it before. But he knew what was out there. He knew how the city looked like. He knew how much he had to grind his teeth and bear it all, in order to live and survive. He wondered if he would be strong enough to go on...

_I can still be his friend. _

_Its all right._

_If we had been together, and did everything it takes in order to be together, it would have destroyed us. Something like that shouldn't come between us. _

_But why did I want him so much? Why?_

Taking some change from his pocket, Jack sat down on the bus and watched the darkness pour past him.

* * *

_I was wondering what would happen to me... I waited too long. And I did the dumbest things. Maybe Will could see all the bad things inside me. All the stupid things inside me. Maybe he knew I had nothing for him really. I learned how to do everything and yet it wasn't good enough. Im not good enough for him._

_He has other hopes. They are different from my own. He's waiting for someone else._

* * *

A few days later Jack returned home to a dark house, and a very calm looking Jesse on his doorstep.

Jack didn't say anything, he merely looked at him and smiled. It was a different smile than the ones he smiled before.

After all, his young spirit was dead now. He took Jesse's arm and they went inside.

* * *

_I love Will. It hurts a lot. And I hate him for not understanding my pain. He ignores what happened and so do I. .I can see he doesn't need me anymore. We see a lot of each other, but its different now. I love him and will do anything to protect him, and keep him, whether as a friend or anything else. We're both being very patient, still wanting to see if there is indeed true love for people like us. And sometimes I think he hates me, because I don't see what he sees. What he sees when he looks at the city, for instance, is gloom, filth and danger. I see those things, but I pretend not to. I pretend that all I notice is light, fun and excitement. But I do see those terrible things, in fact I think I see them more clearly than Will does._

_And Will thinks he's much better than I am because he thinks he knows more, and that makes me think of how Noah, James and Jesse presumed the same things. And sometimes I hate them all. _

_Will doesn't need me as much anymore. In fact there's a faint detachment in him when Im with him, as if he's realized something I haven't, as if he knows something I would never understand. He spends much more of his time with that ex-girlfriend of his. That redhead with the big feet. If I ever hated anyone more, its Grace. I know its meanspirited to think so. Its evil to want someone all to yourself and curse all others who attempt to steal him. _

_But its what I will do for a while. And I'll feel pain, and I know I'll go with others, but just to fix this pain, to make me happy for the moment. _

_And I won't let anyone destroy me, or tell me how Im supposed to feel. It'll be me. Its all up to me now. And if these feelings never leave me, I'll just die, waiting. The world takes too long._

_He's waiting for someone else after all. Im still waiting for him. _

* * *

"Jack! What are you doing?!"

Jesse and Jack's heads emerged from the sheet. They exchanged panicked glances.

"Uh, checking for lice."

* * *

_I'll wait forever if I have to._

* * *

That's the end my friends. If you didn't like the ending, well oh well. I liked it. And my sister did too! (BTW: Her penname is Blurple and she's writing a Teen Titans story, so check her out if you like that stuff. She's the one that left me crazy, psycho reviews.)

I want to thank everyone who reviewed and put up with my lateness, and my laziness. I want to thank everyone who stuck around since the beginning of this story. Each review meant something to me, even the ones that criticized and admonished me. I needed those! Im going on hiatus from fanfiction for the moment, but I do plan on returning. Hopefully with something stemming from my 'The Finest' time-line. I hope to give our boys some new adventures! He he. But Im not making any promises.

I love you all.


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